10 things that explain why I should be with Haruno Sakura
Written by Uchiha Sasuke (or That Broody Guy)
Reason 1:
My fangirls.
Reason 2:
The babies.
Reason 3:
Her beauty.
Reason 4:
I own too much money.
Reason 5:
Sex.
Reason 6:
The dobe.
Reason 7:
The Flower Girl.
Reason 8:
My emo-ness.
Reason 9:
Her understanding.
Reason 10:
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Hey there guys, this story is written in Sasuke POV referring to all the reasons. It's a one shot, explaining each reason.
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Reason 1:
My fangirls.
I hate my fangirls. They are wayyy to possessive. If I had a girlfriend – Sakura – they would naturally disappear.
You may be thinking, 'what's so wrong with the fangirls? They're just some ordinary girls, right?' No!
Yesterday, Random Fangirl nr 876 attacked me. If I wasn't a guy, I would have been screaming 'Rape'.
One week ago, Random Fangirl nr 001, also known as the Flower Girl cheated her boyfriend with me. Or intended to. I pushed her away before he saw that and I got my sorry ass kicked.
She left me alone then.
Reason 2:
The babies.
Imagine – beautiful girls and boys with black hair and green eyes, with the Uchiha crest on their back.
My pride.
(I try not to think about beautiful boys with pink hair and black eyes.)
Reason 3:
Her beauty.
Sakura is beautiful.
Not boringly beautiful like that Tenten Neji-Bastard married, but exotically beautiful.
Wonderful green eyes, and shiny pink hair.
She is also random.
But that comes after we get married.
Reason 4:
I own too much money.
By knowing history, you automatically know that women love to shop. So they tend to come at men with money.
And I have money.
And I am the only Uchiha left.
Um, irony, anyone?
Reason 5:
Sex.
Or as many people put it, exhilarating pleasure.
Gah.
What's so wonderful about sticking something into another something?
People might say I'm emotionally retarded. (Which the dobe already mentioned a couple of times in passing, comparing me with my dead brother)
Though the kids would be nice.
Aren't there any
other ways of making children?!
And they say men are sex-hungry.
Reason 6:
The dobe.
A lot of people know the dobe's current crush.
None other than my objective, Haruno Sakura.
A lot of people know Hinata's past-and-current crush.
None other than the thick-skulled dobe.
Maybe if I date Sakura he'll finally notice Hinata blushing madly a few steps ahead of him.
Yeah, tough luck.
Reason 7:
The Flower Girl.
Also known as Random Fangirl nr 1, and Sakura's best friend, Ino.
Or the stupid blonde.
What's with all these blondes? (No offense to the blondes reading this)
All of the blondes I met were stupid.
Take the dobe.
Or Flower Girl.
Or my dead-brother's friend, Deidara.
He kept repeating 'Art is a bang' and 'Yeah' at the end of every sentence.
Of course, since Ino is Random Fangirl nr 001, she did something the earned the Honored title in 'Sasuke's fanclub'.
I don't know how she got the blueprints of my house, but, damn, the next day, Facebook was filled with pictures and videos of me sleeping.
That only attracted more fangirls, and one The Flower Girl the title of the Number Zero Zero One Fangirl (with current boyfriend Inuzuka Kiba).
Reason 8:
My emo-ness.
Ever wondered why I was acting so emo? Well, it's not everyday you find a 15-year-old thinking about babies and hating things like sex and social outings. Also, when these people don't have a family.
Sakura is one of the only ones (except the Dobe, Kakashi, and Sai who is almost as emotionally retarded as me, if not more.) who doesn't complain about it.
That makes her the ideal bride.
Reason 9:
Her understanding.
Just look up at number 8 and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Also, she just happens to hate tomatoes, which I love, but doesn't complain about it.
Reason 10:
????
So. I currently stopped this list because somehow it got into the hands of the one and only Haruno Sakura, who beat the living crap out if me.
Right now I'm hospitalized.
And guess who's my nurse???
Sakura.
And the director of the hospital is Sakura's godmother.
Oh the joy.
Eep! She's coming! I gotta hide you! Bye!!!!
"So, Sasuke, how are you doing?" Sakura asked evilly.
I gulped. But before I answered…
She kissed me.
Not the innocent just peck-on-the-lips type of kiss.
Hot live make-out session.
I think I start to understand sex.
"Sasuke-kun," she purred seductively in my ear. "I'll show you the true meaning of sex."
--
"Tsunade-baa-chan!" Naruto yelled through the corridors.
"What, Naruto?" Tsunade asked irritated.
"Sasuke-teme and Sakura-chan are having sex in the hospital room!"
--
And that's how I am here, hospitalized for another two weeks, writing number 10.
Reason 10:
She showed me the true meaning of sex.
It's wild.
It's sexy.
Especially when it's Sakura.
It's so Sakura.
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"Jiraiya-sama?" Kakashi asked. "You called for me?"
Jiraiya grinned. "Check my brand new book."
Kakashi studied the cover, and smirked.
"Where did you find the list?" he asked.
"Under Sasuke's top bunk," Jiraiya answered.
---
"WHERE THE HELL IS IT???????"
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10 things that explain why I should be with Haruno Sakura
Written by Uchiha Sasuke (or That Broody Guy)
Book written by Jiraiya, extended version.
Adult content before and after reason 10.