1899 - Colter, the Grizzlies

Life will be never easy.

Such a saying rang true for all. Especially if one chooses the life of that of an outlaw such as herself. But it never hurt to try and make things better. It didn't stop her for someone like her, an outlaw, to try and turn things around for the better. She didn't do it for herself but to those that she loved; to those within the gang.

She owed it to them to make things better for them after all.

No matter situation, one can't give up on hope even if it feels like there no escape.

For Lily, she couldn't help but wonder what it might it have been like if she never joined the Gang. No more running from the law. No more worrying about money. But it would mean that she would possibly never met the gang; her one true family.

Never

Yet she could not help think about these questions now as she laid between the realms of dreams and reality. With everything that had happened to them so far. With the botched job in Blackwater plus being chased for what felt like every step along the way, she just couldn't help but wonder what life would have been like if things were just…different.

As she lay there under her bearskin blanket, her mind wandered deeper her into the past. A past she would like to forget completely. A past she couldn't help but recalled each time she let herself ponder on such questions. The memories of a part of her childhood ruled by fear and pain. A past she wished she would just forget completely.

But apparently, I am just a glutton for punishment tonight.

Before she knew, she was back twenty years ago; a scared little girl who was once afraid of everything and everyone. A little girl who had nothing else to lose and thus risked her own life at a chance for something. Something she had dreamed about consistently when looking out her bedroom window up towards the sky.

Freedom

How she wished to taste it; to be able to fly away from that horrible place like the little blue jays that could from outside her window. To able to fly away and call wherever they land home, oh how she envied those birds back then. It was something worth risking life itself for. It was a risk she took at the tender age of four.

And how sweet it tasted is back then for the first time. It tasted better than any candy or any brandy I reckon had ever had so far in my life.

Once she fled from home, she didn't stop running. As fast as her little legs could go, she fled into the dark wilderness with tears streaming down her chubby cheeks. It wasn't tears of sadness of leaving behind the only place she had called home or those men in black kill her mother in front of her. Nay, not even the screaming agony and pain she was in was the cause of her tears even though every time she ran over any sharp rocks or branches the pain was unbearable.

No

It was tears of happiness. Finally, after years of abuse from that place, from mama, I was finally free.

However, despite the overwhelming sense of joy she was feeling at that moment, she had absolutely nothing. No food, water, or any money. She didn't even have a destination in mind. All she had was the bloodstained nightgown she wore that night and her first name. She didn't even know if she had any family member left now.

But Lily couldn't go back. It would be the end for her if she did.

If she returned or even get close to that place, those men would be there, waiting for her. Judging how easily they killed her mother before her young eyes, Lily just knew that something would happen to her. Either she would be as dead as her mother's warm corpse at her small naked feet, or she would be taken far away; somewhere where she would be locked away. Whatever it might have been, she wasn't going to found out herself.

In the blink of an eye, she found herself somewhere an open and vast grassy field; the sky as blue and clear. She remembered her body finally stopping as she took large breaths of air; standing weakly on bare bloody feet. With every breath of air she took, she could feel her body growing weaker. Before she knew it, she collapsed in a heap on her back against the dirt as her body could not take it anymore.

Days past but how many Lily had no clue. She couldn't move or stand; staring up into that open sky with buzzards' circle from high above. The blazing unforgiving sun cooked her pale dirt covered flesh until it blisters and boiled red. The worst of it all was as she laid there dying from hunger and thirst, all she could hear was her mother's voice. It was not one filled with any form of motherly love. Hatred raged, and venom towards her she laid there with her last words repeating over and over inside.

I should have killed-

STOP! Just… s-st-stop pl-please god.

Please…save me… anyone…

Suddenly, her prayers seemed to have been answered as the voice of her mother began to fade away as her ears caught something else.

S-s-someone's c-coming!

Softly from a distance, Lily could hear the sound of a horse galloping nearby. Whoever it might be was close enough that she could feel the vibration from their horses' hooves trotting against the dirt. Whoever it was halted close to her, their horse neighing loudly before silence filled the air. She waited as she lay there holding her breath as she hopes and prayed it wasn't one of the men in black.

Pl… please god…d-d-don't let the-them find me. Please…please…

She quickly shut her eyes tightly as she heard them get off their horse with a soft grunt. The sound of boots with spurs clicking with each step echoing through the once empty field as they approached where she lay. Slowly opening her eyes hesitantly, Lily was met with a blurred figure of someone; a man standing over her with his large hat blocking out the sun.

Bright blue eyes peered through matted blond hair as she watched this mysterious man like a hawk; ready to bolt at the moment notice despite her current predicament. Seeing the fear and pain in her eyes, the man slowly crouched over, being very careful of his moments almost as if she was a baby deer. It was when he took off his hat that she makes out what he looks like. He was young or at least with stunning cheekbones with hair just as brightens and golden as the sun itself with little flakes of silver hair at the roots.

It was at this moment she first met him. The man who had saved and changed her life forever. The man who would be her friend and mentor through the years. Without him, she would have never met the people that she held so close to her heart. But, years later as she grew into a young woman, she would curse his name not out of anger but for making her conflicted with her inner feelings for him.

It was-

Waken into reality, Lily's eyes blown wide open as a loud booming sound seem to rock the entire room; loud enough to bolt her out of her sleep. Wheezing followed by gurgling sounds of that of a dying animal boomed within the small room suddenly. Even with a raging snowstorm outside, you barely hear the howling winds beating against the building.

What in the hell…

Yawning, Lily slowly sat up from her cot as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she tried to peer into the darkness. The more she listens to the noise, the more she was getting a general idea who it might be. From underneath the faint light of the flicking moonlight, she looked towards where the noise was coming from; its origin coming from the other side of the room.

Lily let out a deep sigh as she saw who it was making all this racket.

Of course, it's him. Why I am not surprised?

Lo and behold, it was none other than the great protector Arthur Morgan himself. She could see the drool stain forming on top of his pillow as he let out a gurgling snort; one arm lying lazing over his face. Judging by the sound of things was deep in the realm of dreams. So deep in sleep that she could only imagine those asshole Pinkertons agents jumping in guns blazing. Even with that, he would still be asleep like the death itself.

Knowing from personal experience, Lily knew that nothing could wake "Sleeping Beauty" that is Arthur Morgan from his slumber. Unless you give him a good "pat" on the cheek. But whatever it was that had triggered in his dreams to cause such…beautiful melodies had started to whine down to a soft whisper.

Grabbing a small whiskey bottle she hid underneath from her bed, Lily continued to look at the slumbering man as she took a swig from her stash. She smiles at Arthur as she looked at him; envious of how deep in sleep he truly was.

Lucky bastard.

With a puff of warm air escaping her lips as she signed, placed the bottle back in its spot. Grabbing her fur blankets once more, she threw them back over herself; curling underneath as she tried to get warm once again.

Slowly, Lily could feel her eyes began to drift closed as she slips into a dreamless sleep.