Maybe
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I can only wonder what life would have been like if I had actually lived it.
Maybe if I had revealed my true feelings to him . . . my feelings of love and compassion . . . maybe I wouldn't be lying here alone, waiting for the inevitable moment when death comes and takes my soul away from this mortal realm.
I was presented with so many opportunities to reveal my feelings towards him. Why didn't I take one of them? Instead I pushed every one of them away . . .
I ran from the world . . . I ran from myself . . . I ran from him . . . all because I was afraid, afraid of what other people would think of me. I pushed my true self to the darkest recesses of my soul; if only I had just let it shine past my mask of hatred and lies . . . instead I let a guise of hostility dominate my life.
I regret everything—I regret my whole life.
All because I was too afraid, too afraid to live . . .
As I lie here in this cold hospital bed, staring at my frail hands through these weeping eyes of mine, waiting for my final minutes on this earth to pass . . . I can only wonder what life would have been like if I had torn down and stopped living behind my facade of hate and lies, and revealed my true self to the world . . . to him.
Maybe I wouldn't have lived the life of loneliness and bitterness that I did.
Maybe I would have known what it was like to have loved and been loved.
Maybe then I wouldn't be lying here alone—dying alone.
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A/N: This is my first HA! story, and one of my first stories ever. I don't consider myself much of a writer, so any advice is greatly appreciated! Anyway, I hope you like it. Please, R&R!