A/N: This is my first fanfic in a year and a half. Don't be too harsh. Rated T. I won't go into detail about certain things but just be careful. This story will hopefully be pretty long, but who knows? I'm trying to drag it out a little and add some drama because I'm one of those people who can't stand leaving my characters in mucky situations for long. Hopefully I'll get over that with this! This chapter is kind of the exposition so it's a little shorter than my normal chapters. Then again, some may be shorter than others because I always have to give you guys cliffhangers. I'm going to try and update this every night. Keyword: try. But anyways, here's the story. Enjoy! (:

Sam slammed Freddie's door. "FREDWARD!"

"What?" he yelled from his room.

"Got any bacon?" Sam opened his refrigerator door and picked through the items on the top shelf.

"No," said Freddie.

"WHY?" Sam slammed the fridge angrily and spread out on the couch.

"My mom thinks the fat con –" Freddie started to say as he walked into the room.

"I don't give a chizz! Get mama some bacon, nub," Sam interrupted as she plopped her bag on the floor and ruffled through it.

Freddie crossed his arms and half-smiled. "No."

Sam looked up from her bag and pointed a finger at him. "Don't you start with me, Fredward Benson. Go to Carly's and see if they have anything… meaty." She turned the tv on.

Freddie gestured in the direction of Carly's with an "are you kidding me" face. "It's just across the hall!" he exclaimed.

"Exactly. Now go raid their fridge, Fredlump. You're in the way of Girly Cow."

Freddie rolled his eyes and muttered, "whatever" as he walked out of his apartment and into Carly's.

"What goes on?" he exclaimed as he walked in to see Carly watching her computer screen intently.

"Just watching entries to iHula Hoop. Check this kid out!" she was watching a 30 second long video of a girl eating a whole watermelon as she hula hooped.

"Whoa, pretty cool," Freddie said. "But, uh, why is there glue all over the mouse?"

"Spencer," Carly rolled her eyes.

"How many entries do we have?" Freddie asked.

Carly walked into the kitchen and started washing her glue-covered hands. "Try pushing a thousand. Ugh! Hey, can you and Sam come over in like half an hour and we can watch some of them? We have to get the results figured out by Sunday, so we can have time to rehearse for the actual show."

"Yeah, maybe if she'd get off my couch. She sent me here for bacon, or ham, or turkey, or – well, you get the point. Sam food," Freddie said and sat down at the kitchen table.

Carly sighed.

"What?" asked Freddie.

"Okay, well you know how that jerk Thomas dumped Sam for another girl like 2 weeks ago?"

"Yeah."

"And you know how she eats so much when she goes through breakups?" Carly opened their fridge and pulled out some Deli slices of ham and started to put them in a zip lock bag.

"Yeah."

"Well, she's been coming here, or to your apartment for the past two weeks just eating, and eating, and eating. I don't think she's getting over him," Carly tossed the bag of meat to Freddie.

"And?" Freddie caught it and set it on the table.

Carly sat down across from him. "I think you should talk to her."

"What?" Freddie exclaimed. "Why me? I'm not a girl. I don't know what to say."

"Well, there's two reasons. One, I can't tell you. And two, we're almost juniors in high school, and you've had like, what, one girlfriend? You need to work on your, uhh," Carly traced her hands along an imaginary rainbow in the air, "sensitive skills. Girls love that."

Freddie stared at her.

"Okay, fine! I seriously can't tell you the first reason. But the second one is… I don't want to do it. Plus, anyways, I have to watch some contest entries!" she gestured towards the computer.

"Even I could watch the entries!"

"Well, if you knew the first reason, it'd be enough to make you go do it, promise. Please?" Carly made a pouty face.

"What's this mystery first reason?" Freddie asked suspiciously.

"Freddie, I just said I can't tell you. Now, shoo! Go talk to Sam. See you in half an hour!"

Freddie got up and started walking out of Carly's apartment when she threw the forgotten bag of ham at his back.

He grabbed it off the floor and was about to say something when Carly interrupted him.

"Adios! Bye! Sayonara! Shalom! Talk! Talk it up! With Sam! Talk with Sam! Bye, bye! Catch ya later! Aloha! It means bye too! " she kept talking quickly and closed the door behind him.

In the hallway, Freddie was wondering why Carly was so anxious to have him leave until he heard a loud crash in his apartment.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading. Reviews? xoxo