I hope you all like this – it was originally set to be the ending of a longer piece but just didn't fit the vibe that I wanted the other piece to have. Enjoy and please review!
It's after last call and Jo's cleaning the bar in Topeka, getting ready to close up. Only a few more minutes until she can lock the doors, clean the place and go home to her soft sheets and dream. Dream about a certain Winchester with hair the color of darkened wheat, eyes the color of jade wearing a pair of faded Levis and a smirk. When he was in Hell, her dreams turned to nightmares and she still worries. Yet not a night goes by without his face flickering into her head while she sleeps.
The bar is nearly empty, save for a few regulars and a guy in the back whose face she hasn't seen. If she didn't know any better, she'd be worried about some stalker but she'd recognize the 1967 Impala parked outside anywhere along with the hair that haunts her dreams. She doesn't feel like talking, so she ignores him. After all, he does this every couple of months– shows up, acts like he's unaware that she's there but she knows what he's doing. He's checking up on her – making sure she's alive. It's the same dance – she pretends she doesn't see him and he pretends that she's not there. It's worked well for them so far.
She never tells Sam about it, even though the two email weekly and she's pretty sure Sam knows, anyway. He tells her about the hunts and about how they're doing, but he never tells her anything personal. Sometimes she wishes he would. She never says anything personal to him, either. If she told Sam that not a day goes by that she doesn't think of Dean and that she's pretty sure she's in love with him, then Sam would make Dean come here and talk it out. She doesn't want Dean to feel that he owes her anything. But most of all, she doesn't want to lose her last link to him and so her emails are filled with anecdotes about the bar and sometimes about a hunt that comes her way instead of the hole in her heart.
She hears from Dean irregularly, though she doesn't offer that information to anyone – even Sam. Usually they're just text messages every few weeks that say "I'm alive." Before he went to Hell, he sent her one that said "I wish it had been the right place and time," and she knew he was back when she got a letter in the mail that had the lyrics to Can't Fight this Feeling, the only proof that it was from him being the almost invisible "D" in the bottom corner. She has that one framed on her bedroom wall. Yet she still wishes to hear his voice, that low rumbling that sends her stomach into knots. She wonders if she ever will.
Sometimes she wonders how Dean tracked her down. She assumes it has something to do with Bobby and her mother being close because she knows Ellen wouldn't tell him on her own.
It's been over two years since the two spoke in Duluth, yet sometimes she feels like she's right alongside him with everything she's heard from her mom, Bobby and Sam. She remembers when he made the deal and when Sam got him out of it. She remembers everything as if she'd been there and the only thing she can't remember is what made her fall in love with him.
Ellen always asks her to come back. She knows that if she went back to the new Roadhouse that she'd be able to see the brothers every month or so, but she doesn't want to seem needy. She no longer possesses her heart and the only thing she has is her independence. So she stays, waiting for him to show up every other month, his text messages being the highlight of her week and the letter framed in her room.
He sits at the booth in the corner, sipping his beer and wondering if he should actually talk to her this time. He knows that she's aware of his presence, because at the end of the night the other server will tell him that his tab's been taken care of and he knows it's because of her.
He thinks of her almost constantly, and begins to revel in the emails that Sam receives from her each week. He's had to bite his tongue more than once to keep himself from asking Sam whether or not she's seeing someone. He knows Sam wouldn't tell him anyway, so he waits until Sam's asleep and steals his phone, finding out for himself exactly what she's said. He thinks about emailing her, but decides not to. That's Sam's thing, anyway.
Dean wishes he'd called her after Duluth, but had settled for a text message telling her that he was alive. He kept doing that every few weeks, knowing that this link to humanity outside of his brother was what kept him going. When he got back from Hell, he found a voicemail from her on his phone and the words "I'm afraid I won't be able to tell you that I don't hate you," still haunt his dreams. He knows what she means and his response is to send a letter with the lyrics to that song. He begins to think of it as their song and that is when he knows he's in over his head. For some strange reason, he doesn't care.
He waits for her to start kicking everyone out and silently wonders if maybe this time he should say something. He's been coming here every other month for a year now, since he got out of Hell, and he knows that he needs to either make a move or move on. Besides, who knows if she's told Ellen that he's a creepy stalker. Though, if she had, Bobby would have told him so he breathes a sigh of relief.
Soon everyone's gone but him and he wonders if she'll kick him out, breaking their unspoken vow of silence. She doesn't and continues to clean the bar as if he isn't there. He knows he will have to be the one to break this cycle. He can't just keep showing up here in-between jobs just to watch her and who knows when she'll move on again.
He gets up from his seat and walks to the jukebox in the corner.
Jo's behind the bar wiping up a mess some drunk asshole made when she hears the opening chords of Can't Fight this Feeling. She stands up immediately and locks eyes with the blonde-haired hunter that stands in front of her. She knows she must look a sight with her shocked facial expression and beer dripping down her front, but she doesn't care.
He saw the song on the jukebox and couldn't help but play it. He knows that just playing this song gives him away but right now, he doesn't care. All that matters is here and now and he hopes to whatever God there is up there that she doesn't throw him out.
She sees the slight fear in his eyes and doesn't know whether or not to be worried when he doesn't try to cover it up with his usual cockiness. He starts to walk towards her and she realizes she is staring. She can't stop.
"What?"
"You're playing REO Speedwagon?" She can't believe that these are their first words to each other in over two years and she almost laughs at the ridiculousness of it all.
"Damn right, REO." The echo of one of their first conversations makes them both smile and before Dean knows what has happened, Jo has thrown herself into his arms. He's never been one for hugging but he doesn't ever want to let her go.
He lowers his head to hers and his mouth slowly slides of hers. His tongue goes to part her lips to find them already open. For a few minutes, it's lips and tongues and hands but when they come air, he pulls her towards him once again and she can hear his heart beating under her ear. "I'm alive" is what it tells her and she smiles.
"Any reason why you picked this one?" She's teasing him but his cocky response surprises her.
"Well, it's my girl's favorite song, you know." He's nervous now and knows he's really getting into stalker territory, but she responds faster than he thought.
"So I'm your girl, huh?" She smiles against his chest and goes to pull away and look at him but he holds her tighter against him.
"Do you want to be?"
"I wouldn't hate it," she responds.