A/N~ If you like puzzleshipping, you may or may not find this offensive on some levels. This isn't the plot that most of my fics take. I am just in a bad mood. These are thoughts that Yugi probably would write down about Atemu's leaving if he was in a bad mood. I don't own Yu-gi-oh.
Essay
Yugi sat at his desk, gazing at the blank sheet of paper in front of him. He sighed as he gripped the pen tightly in his hand and prepared to write something. He put the pen to the paper and stopped. Nothing was coming to his head right now. Yugi growled angry and slammed the pen down on his desk. He scratched his scalp in frustration as he look at the time; 2:34. He had to wake up in four hours to go to school and he wasn't even asleep yet. "Stupid psychology" Yugi murmured and rested his tired head in his crossed arms, slumping over his desk.
His psychology teacher had given his class an assignment for the night. He said it would help in that it was some sort of therapy. Their assignment was to write an essay describing a person who once was their friend but lost their friendship and why. They were also to present a metaphor about that person. He was not to describe the reason for that lost friendship but was suppose to shape into something else. Yugi knew who he had to write about but didn't know how to do it.
Atemu. Yugi cringed at the name as he often did these days. He hated it. The name left a bad taste in his mouth that no toothpaste in the world could get rid of. He hated everything that had to do with the former king. Dueling, games, Egypt, himself, and anything else that reminded him of Atemu was outcasted. Yugi had gone as far as putting drapes over the mirrors so that his own reflection wouldn't remind him of the painful memories in his heart.
Truth be told, he missed Atemu greatly. He didn't want to hate him but every time that name crept into his mind, he felt like throwing up. Reality being, Yugi hadn't quite gotten over the former king's decision to journey to the other world. Why? Why did he have to go? Yugi sat up and made a face. He made up his mind weeks ago that he would not shed a tear for the man; not anymore. He picked up his pen and began to write. I had a friend who was the greatest hero in the world. He gave me everything that I ever wanted.
Yugi paused and bit his lip. He remembered the time that the spirit saved his grandfather's soul as well as his own along with Kaiba and Mokuba. He smiled, remembering the day he first called him "Aibou". It was a very happy day for him. Finally there was someone in his life that cared for him. It was a feeling that made Yugi grow warmer and warmer with the more time they spent with each other. Yugi shook his head, reminding himself that he currently hated the former king.
In return, I gave him everything that he could ever want. Though I knew that it wasn't the same as his old life, I gave him my friends, family, and a home to live comfortably in. Yugi paused again. He looked up at the sky window and sighed. What he was writing was not a lie; he had given Atemu everything he ever could want. He gave him his friends and family to share since he could remember none of his own. He had given him his own body to wonder around in and life daily experiences. He often thought about what would have happened if some else had solved the puzzle; how would they react? Yugi felt a smirk form on his face when he thought about some poor soul finding a spirit of an arrogant and self righteous king in a seemingly innocent golden puzzle. The thought of that person screaming and chucking the golden treasure into a volcano almost made the teen laugh.
He stopped. Atemu's soul being destroyed was not funny. He didn't want the man destroyed. In fact, Yugi wanted the exact opposite; for him to return to his side. Yugi felt that familiar lump of emotional pain creeping up his throat but he quickly swallowed it in aggravation. He tightened his grip on the pen and thought for a minute. I liked having someone to hang out with all the time. I loved having someone that understood the real me and not the pathetic boy that everyone saw on the outside. He saw my soul. He knew how I truly felt about everything. He was my confidant and I, his.
Yugi thought of the nights he stayed up late speaking with the spirit. They always talked about him and their friends. Mostly, the topics were started on trying to figure out how to get Atemu's memories back and progressed from there. Yugi frowned as he remembered that the chair he was sitting in that very moment was often the one Atemu sat in when they had their conversations. When Yugi came back from Egypt alone, he actually had to push the chair outside for a few days because he could not find sleep with it sitting by his bed. He could have sworn that every time he woke up Atemu was sitting there watching him like he always did. Truth of the matter was he wasn't. He would never be there again.
But something was wrong with this friend. Although we went on many adventures together and save others countless times, he was always distracted. In fact, he was always trying to live in the past. It was the only aspect I didn't like about him. Yugi nodded. It was true. Atemu spent a lot of time sulking when things in his past didn't go as planned. It was also the reason why he left. Yugi never hated him for his decision. Atemu missed his family and friends and leaving was best for him; him being the key word. As grateful as Yugi was to Atemu for showing him everything the world had to offer, his decision to move on harmed the teen greatly. It was no physical trauma but then again, did it really need to be to leave a scar?
Yugi could never forget the last few moments Atemu was in the same world he was in. It felt so agonizing. If Anzu ever said anything correctly, it was what she said right before Atemu left. "I just don't understand why it has to be this way." Yugi could feel for her for he shared in those feelings. Atemu was strong and defiant. These were characteristics that Yugi appreciated and also those that made a good king. However, it was those character traits that made Yugi hate Atemu's decision. He couldn't help but think that Atemu usually got his way and fought through anything, not matter how hard the challenge. If the former king truly wanted to stay in their world, Yugi was pretty sure he would have found a way. So because he didn't, Yugi was fairly certain Atemu no longer wanted to stay with them.
It hurt. After four years of letting him carry their lives in his hands, Yugi and his friends couldn't comprehend why Atemu would want to leave so soon. Did the past four years mean anything to him at all? Yugi didn't know. All he felt for certain was that the heart wrenching feeling he felt whenever the king's name popped into his head was real. Atemu's departure was easily translated into his mind. Atemu could have said "Well thanks for everything but I found something better so later" and it would have meant the same thing. It was a clear and hard slap to the face.
The whole incident made Yugi reconsider whether Atemu was the best thing that happened to him. Sure, he helped Yugi in more ways than Yugi could count on his fingers, but the pain he left the teen made those happy things vanish.
Being his friend and helping him through his troubles was the best thing for me. At least, I thought it was the best thing for me at the time. Now that he is gone, I feel a hole in my heart that wasn't there before he entered my pathetic life. In a way, he gave and took valuable things from me. He gave me the life I have now, and in turn stole away my heart. As much as Yugi hated to write that, it was true. His relationship with Atemu currently was love-hate. I love him for existing. I hate him for leaving. Yugi wrote the plain and simple truth with a chuckle.
Yugi frowned. Now to compare Atemu to something. He gazed around the room and his eyes settled on his deck. So many duels fought with it. So many lives, including his own, rode on those cards and the duels he and his darkness fought together. So many cheers and just as many tears decorated his life throughout those long four years. Yugi's eyes lit up as he turned back to his paper. He jotted the last few lines down and placed the essay in his backpack. Everything that had to be said was said.
My friend is a lot like chemotherapy. I know that in the long run he was suppose to help me but at the same time, he put me through so much pain, I wondered what the point was. Even if he was destroying the "cancer" of my life, I feel like those precious years that are supposed to be filled with fun were torn away from me. Perhaps I should have neglected treatment to truly live.
A/N~ Okay I wanted to explain myself a little bit. I wrote this to show the steps of grieving in a way. How it's hard to let someone go when you have so many unanswered questions. Yugi does not hate Atemu. He just is having a hard time understanding his decision. I mean really, who wants to die?
Now I question for you. Who is Heba? I have no idea who this person is and how they are related to Yu-gi-oh in anyway. If someone could clear that up somehow, that would be great!