Crush on you

Disclaimer: I own nothing and I'm not earning any money with it.

Warning: Depri, sad, romance, yaoi, old men

A.N.: I was in a really sad mood and listening to the punk-cover version of "crush on you" and it was sung by a male singer, so the idea strucked me. Actually I have always wanted to use the song for a FF7AC-fic and let it be Rufus POV, but… Felster was faster.

Oh, and I have nothing against Mama Schneider, really, it is just Felsters POV. And the Felster x Karl-Heinz pairing was never planed, but somehow it happened.

Pairings: Felster x Schneider en. (One sided), Papa x Mama Schneider (Does anyone know her name?), Felster x Karl-Heinz Schneider

Summary: Felsters feelings about Schneider senior

Crush on you

You know, I have a crush on you. Since the first time I saw you and that is nearly 30 years ago. We were both 14 year old boys, playing in the U15 for Germany. Since then.

It were your baby-blue eyes that caught me. They were so unbelievingly blue, I couldn't look away. They haunted me in my dreams. Since that day in the U15, we have been friends, enemies, whatever destiny wanted us to be, but never lovers.

No, it could have never happened. Why? Because you never saw me in that way. I was your best friend in the All-Germany-Team, but not your lover. I wish, I could have been.

I was better than you, but I had too, so that you would run after me. I had too. I couldn't have survived, if you would have chosen someone else for your greatest rival.

But no matter how hard we fought, you shared every secret with me.

It broke my heart, when you told me, you were in love with a girl.

I tried to tell myself, that she would be just a number; nothing serous, but then you told me, that you wanted to marry her and showed me the ring. At that moment I died. My life lost its sense and everything went grey.

I have hated her, since that moment, for taking you away from me.

You have always wondered, why I didn't get along with her, but for me, she was just a… who had taken you away from me.

On your weeding day, I left Germany and played in many European clubs, but no one I met there could have replaced you.

I learned from the newspapers, that you had a son.

At first, I must admit, I didn't like him. He resembled to much his mother, but when I saw him years later, he reminded me of you. He has your beautiful baby-blue eyes, your smile, your gestures, your soccer style, everything.

He may be the son of the woman, who took you away from me, but he is your son too, I realized then.

I have watched him since then. It was like seeing you again. I know, it wasn't fair to the boy, but I couldn't help it. I was the one who took away his virginity. I wanted to posses that part of you, that someone who meant so much to you. That reminded me of you. Our little affair didn't last long. He was after all just a boy, not older than 14, and I… My heart broke every time I saw him. He wasn't you. I think, he took it pretty well, when I ended our little affair.

When it became clear, that he definately would have the makings of a pro football player, I scouted him for Bayern München. At first he didn't want to, but in the end he said yes.

I must admit, too, that I had an other thoughts in mind. If he would be in München, you would come and visit him or even better, move to München. I would be able to see you again, talk to you.

Your son told me, that you and her were at the edge of a divorce.

Joy ran throuth me, when I heard that.

True, I had read about the scandal in the newspaper, but I didn't realize that you would break up over that. That was just the proof I needed. She wasn't good enough for you, and probably you would realize that now, too. But you got back together. You may be happy about that, but I am not. She never has, and never will good enough for you.

I got a crush on you. That is my big secret and I will take it to grave with me; without you ever realizing, that someone out there who loves you, truly.

The End