A/N: Hello all my fellow Haleb luvas! I am SO excited to post this one-shot! This is THE missing scene from 1x19. (The one in the tent… what else? DUH!) I figured that I've done some dirty Haleb recently, and that I NEEDED to write about their first time before I do another one! LOL… how my mind works! Anyways, I hope you all enjoy :)
Disclaimer: Rated M for a reason. Oh yeah… and I don't own PLL… obviously… If I did there would be TONS more Haleb scenes! And it'd be on HBO…. (okay… I think I'm done now ;) )
Never in his life had Caleb Rivers felt this close to anyone before. Never in his life had he trusted anyone this much. Ever since his mother left him and he was shoved from one foster family to another, he had become guarded, putting up walls whenever anyone tried to get close to him. But these walls were beginning to crumble when it came to Hanna Marin.
When she'd told him about her past, he was taken aback, stunned even. Sure, he was surprised that Hanna had gone to fat camp since it was clear to everyone that she now had curves in all the right places. But he was even more surprised that Hanna would open up to him like that. That she trusted him like that. She didn't have to tell him any of it. After all, they'd only known each other for a few weeks.
So he told her about his past too. Things he'd never told anyone before. Like how happy he was to get that card from his mom. He didn't even realize half of the things he'd said until he said them. It was as if he was being compelled to say them. Being around Hanna was just so natural, like breathing even. He'd never felt completely like himself with anyone before. He was no longer hiding behind his bad boy hacker demeanor. It was him, just him, whenever he was with her. He wanted her to know who he was, and she wanted the same. All his life he had felt alone even when he was with people… but that was before he met her.
Things were different now. In the beginning of their relationship, there was no denying that they were attracted to each other. Their constant flirting and playful teasing being proof of that fact. And when Hanna let him stay in her basement, they started to get a little glimpse of who the other one really was. Caleb seeing a softer, more vulnerable side to Hanna than he saw at school. And Hanna starting to see through the front that Caleb put up for strangers. Although things were uncomfortable for a short time after their shower incident, it made Hanna realize what she really wanted – Caleb. And now here they were – about to make love together in a tent.
"Are you sure?" he breathed out in the small space between their lips when they briefly separated for air. He deeply cared for this girl and didn't want to risk losing her. Sure, he desperately wanted to get to know Hanna in the most physically intimate way possible. But it was all about her and what she wanted. He didn't want to pressure her, even though she was the one who had initiated taking off their coats and his shirt as their kissing got needier inside the tent. He wasn't about to do anything to push away the only girl who could make him feel this way.
She nodded in response to his question before whispering, "I'm sure." So many thoughts were racing through her mind, protection being one of them. "Do you have…" she trailed off not feeling bold enough to actually say the word condom.
He nodded, knowing what she meant.
And soon enough they were back to kissing, with Hanna rising up on her knees to pull Caleb closer to her.
With one hand cradling her face to apply the slightest bit of pressure against her head, he held her back just a bit to slow the kiss as he guided her to lay down on the sleeping bags and blankets in the tent. She was clinging to him fiercely as he pulled back just enough to withdraw his tongue and soften the kiss, ghosting his lips lightly over hers instead. Not wanting to crush her, he used his forearms to support his weight as he stretched on top of her. He carefully tilted her head to the side, allowing him to access her neck, and moved his kiss along her jaw and over the thin, pale skin of her neck, while still cradling her head in his hands. She moaned quietly and it sounded more like a plea than anything.
Slowly, still lavishing her neck and collarbone, he slid his hands down along the sides of her body until they met her hips. He kneaded and rubbed for a moment, while she tugged on his hair – something he was really starting to enjoy even if the pulling had gotten so hard that sometimes he didn't know if it was pleasure or pain that he was experiencing. One of his hands snaked its way down to the small of her back, pressing her closer to him as she wrapped her legs tightly around him. His dick was rock hard wedged between his pants and her as she pulled and withered below him, obviously searching for a bit of friction for her own purposes. He was more than willing to oblige.
Hanna had never gone this far with a boy before and she was starting to feel insecure and unsure about everything she was feeling. Everything was happening so quickly even though she wanted it to. When he'd asked her if she was sure earlier, she didn't even have to think about it. She was absolutely sure that she wanted Caleb to be her first. Both emotionally and physically Caleb Rivers was capable of making her feel things she had never felt before. Never before had she felt this safe with a boy. She felt safe with him emotionally as she told him bits and pieces of her past, and physically while he held her and when he kissed her. Her feelings for him were growing stronger and stronger every day.
Still, she was starting to feel self-conscious about the sounds she was starting to make, along with the idea of Caleb seeing her naked, seeing the most intimate parts of her that no one else had ever seen before. She knew she wanted to do this with him, but anxiety and nervousness were starting to wash over her.
"Caleb," she whispered trying to get his attention as he trailed kisses along her neck, all the way up behind her ear. She continued. "Caleb… you should know that…" she trailed off, her cheeks turning pink.
When he first heard her say his name he didn't think anything of it. He thought it was her subconscious way of urging him on. But when he heard her say his name the second time, he heard her nervousness. He pulled back to look at her and he met her hesitant blue eyes.
"Know what?" he asked softly when she didn't continue.
"I'm… I'm a… virgin," she finally got out feeling self-conscious and embarrassed. She was pretty sure Caleb had more experience than her and she was starting to feel intimidated.
"Oh." He couldn't help that he said that. It just came out. He was honestly surprised. She was such a good kisser and it seemed as if every single touch from her went straight to his groin. She seemed to know what she was doing so he was taken aback.
But he felt like an idiot for saying that the second he did. He looked at her burning cheeks and felt guilty. She looked so vulnerable. "No, no, I didn't mean it as a bad 'oh.' I'm just surprised. You don't seem like…"
"No one's ever wanted me like this before," she admitted biting her lip, thinking about her failed attempts to seduce Sean.
He held back a laugh thinking about how sexy she was, and the fact that he'd heard multiple guys in the locker room or in the hall talk about how they wanted to bang her. "Hanna, I highly doubt that." The worried expression was still twisted in her face. "Look… we don't have to do this."
She shook her head. "No… I want to. Just… be gentle, okay?" she stuttered.
"Okay… Tell me if I hurt you… Or if you want me to stop…"
Now Caleb was the one who was starting to get nervous. He really wanted this to be special for her and he didn't want to hurt her. The fact that she was a virgin made him more nervous for some reason he didn't even know why. But still, that fact was sexy as hell given that he was going to be the first guy to be with her. After tonight, he'd know her and be connected to her in a way that no one else could.
She pulled his head back down to hers so their lips were fiercely connected again. His free hand ran up and down the length of her side several times as he continued to kiss her. On the last passage along her hip and up her waist, his fingers found the hem of her lace tank top and twisted in the fabric. As he moved his hand up along her ribs, he slid the tank top with him, desperately craving more skin to skin contact. He raised himself off of her enough to grant the necessary space to remove it entirely up and over her head. She squirmed out of it and looked at him shyly.
His eyes drifted along her nearly naked chest and torso then slowly returned back up. He could feel the heat of her blush beneath him as he looked deeply into her bashful eyes.
"You're perfect, Hanna," he whispered to her. She rolled her eyes and he was annoyed. "I mean it. You're so beautiful. So so beautiful…" he trailed off, ghosting his fingertips down from her neck, over her shoulders, across her collarbone and down her sides. He just barely swept across the swell of her breasts and bra, keeping his fingers more toward her sides, and down over her ribs where they landed on her hips. He sat back on his heels and just looked at her. She was really perfect, the color of her lacy bra visible in the white moonlight, against her porcelain skin. His fingers rested on the top of her pants, but he wasn't going to push anything yet. Instead, he traced the back of his fingers back up the length of her beautiful body, more toward the centre, and up over her breasts, not pausing to properly enjoy them, just allowing her time to adjust to having is hands on her.
Letting out a deep breath that emanated just from looking at the girl sprawled out on the blankets beneath him, he bent over to kiss her deeply, sliding one hand along her cheek to cradle her head in his hand as they explored one another's mouths. Their tongues moved together, with small moans and grunts turning each of them on just as much as their actions.
After what felt like hours of just kissing to Caleb, Hanna slid her hands down his back, her fingers teasing him, as she moved them along the top of his pants, dipping them under the hem just enough to drive him crazy. She ran her hands along his abs and up over his chest over and over, and he moaned into her mouth. When he wrapped both arms around her back holding her closer, a current of energy surged through him, shuddering down on her body, to his fingertips and toes, and back along his spine. He felt the electricity elsewhere as well. And while he was trying really fucking hard to be a gentleman by making Hanna's first time slow and romantic, he really wanted to rip the rest of her clothes off her and fucking bury himself inside her.
Things progressed faster as soon as Hanna's nervous, fumbling fingers worked on Caleb's belt and pants. She looked up at him with a shy smile when she threw his belt across the tent, locking eyes with him as she carefully pulled at the zipper of his pants. He helped her pull them all the way down before he returned the favor, making sure to caress her the soft, smooth skin of her toned legs as he pulled them off of her.
Once they were both left in only their undergarments, he gripped her hip, almost too hard, but couldn't find the will to be any gentler with her. He hitched her leg up over his hip and slowly and torturously grinded down on her. With nothing but flimsy cotton and lace between them, the trill of sensation ricocheted through them as their most aroused areas moved back and forth together, creating friction and warmth. He wanted so desperately to feel more of her.
Her head was thrown back, her fingers tangled and tugging his hair as he circled his tongue around the shell of her ear, moaning lightly as she raised her hips off the ground to grind herself into him again. He dragged his hand from her shoulder, over the swell of her breasts still covered in black lace, and down over her ribs. With caution, he worked his fingertips under the band of her panties, dipping them underneath and gripping her bare hip, pulling her closer to him. She whimpered and mewled, her sounds going straight to the lower half of his body, which twitched and begged to be touched. He kind of hoped it would get what it wanted, but he didn't want to push anything. He cared too much about this girl to do that.
Slowly, cautiously, kissing and nipping at her neck and shoulder, he looked up at her. She had her eyes closed and was breathing heavily, as he slipped one of his hands back over her hip to her inner thigh. He rubbed small circles on her delicate skin while he dragged his lips up along her neck to place a gentle kiss right behind her ear. She cried out and lifted her hips up towards his hand involuntary, as her most sensitive area was begging to be touched. She clamped down on her lower lip to quiet herself, embarrassed by the sounds she didn't even know she was capable of making before she met Caleb Rivers.
Giving into what he knew her body really wanted he moved his hand upward and underneath her panties so that his index finger was circling her swollen clit, keeping a watchful eye on her face for any sign that he had went too far. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she squirmed so much underneath him that his other hand reached down to grip her hip in order to keep her still. If she wasn't going to tell him to stop, he certainly wasn't going to.
He traced around her clit, applying more and more pressure, and then lowered his finger. She was so fucking wet that he groaned along with her as his finger dipped into the moisture. He circled his fingertip around her, working in the evidence of what he was capable of doing to her. He found that idea so fucking hot. He moved his finger into her just an inch, then circling and withdrawing it a little, he repeated the action slowly, over and over. She withered and moaned beneath him as he pressed the heel of his hand against her most sensitive spot, mostly just working off her reactions on what to do next.
He pushed his entire finger into her, curling it a bit forward and slowly working it in and out of her, the moisture increasing with her sweet little sounds. He sucked at her bottom lip and moaned with her, against her mouth as he continued pumping his finger into her. He slowly circled another finger at her entrance, barely dipping it in. He nuzzled into her neck with his nose, kissing and licking anything his lips could reach, as he slid his finger out of her. She whimpered. He pushed it back in slowly, moving the second finger in alongside it. She was so fucking tight he could barely fit both fingers in, and he idly wondered how the fuck anything else was going to fit in there. The thought made everything twitch and he groaned into her ear.
She clawed at the back of his shoulders and wrapped her legs tight around his waist, holding him to her so tight that he could barely move his hand. Her insides clamped around his fingers and she moaned and panted out his name, shuddering and whimpering as he continued pumping his fingers slowly in and out of her as she rode out her first orgasm.
Her breathing slowed down after a few minutes and he removed his fingers from her, sliding them out of her panties, curling them to keep from wiping the moisture on her and kissed her. It was soft and gentle. If she wanted to stop there it was okay. Watching Hanna come undone beneath him, his name on her lips as she moaned with the pleasure he was bringing her – that was heaven. He could wait for more. She was too precious to him to push for anything else.
But she deepened the kiss. She grabbed and pulled at his hair. She was greedy and quickly forced his body to reign over his mind. He plunged his tongue into her mouth and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her enough so that she could arch her back and he could undo the clasp of her bra. Taking more as long as she was offering. Her little fingers pulled at the waistband of his boxers and his dick pulsed with anticipation.
Her bra discarded somewhere on the floor of the tent with the rest of their clothing, he trailed hot wet kisses down her neck, over her shoulder. His hand reached up the other side of her body to gently palm the freshly exposed skin. Her nipple hardened under his touch and she moaned. He traced a circle around it with his thumb as his mouth dipped down and drew her other nipple into his mouth, sucking and twirling his tongue around it. Her fingers had come to rest on his neck and shoulders. She dug her sharp, manicured nails into his skin in a way that was almost painful, but so fucking hot at the same time. Her head was thrown back on one of the pillows they brought with them. He worked his way down her stomach, over her ribs, kissing, licking, gripping her with his hands. When he got to the top of her panties he slipped his thumbs in, tugging down on them, needing more of her exposed and laid out just for him.
Hanna lifted her hips, allowing him to pull the flimsy piece of lace down her legs until she could kick them off with her feet. Her hands returned to his underwear as he looked down at her in awe. The sight of the gorgeous blonde writhing beneath him and moaning his name nearly made him come on the spot. He actually had to make a conscious effort to restrain himself. It was fucking torture. A sweet, heavenly, painful torture.
When Hanna tugged and pulled at his boxers it snapped him back to the present. He grabbed her wrists with his long fingers, stopping her… though for the life of him he couldn't remember why. He looked into her sparkling blue eyes, wild with excitement and arousal.
"Hanna," his voice came out hoarse and broken. It was rough with desire, even though his actions were contradicting that need. "Hanna, you don't have to…" he trailed off. Everything had to be her choice, not his.
Defiance flared in her eyes as she pushed down his boxers as far as her arms could reach without answering his pleas. Who was he to deny whatever she wanted? He conceded and wiggled himself free of them, kicking them to the floor. Her legs, around his waist, fell open a little more, silently giving him permission. He groaned and fought back the urge to just take what his body so desperately wanted. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and she bit her lip looking up at him, naked, exposed, vulnerable…waiting.
She reached up and slid her fingers into the hair at the back of his neck, softer than she had before. She pulled him down to her and kissed him gently. He lay against her, his dick twitching and pulsing, so close to the wet heat it was seeking.
He braced himself on his forearms, sliding his palms under her head, cradling her against him. He cherished her. Gently, he nudged one of her thighs with his knee, needed her to open up wider for him. He trailed kisses along her jaw, the sensitive spot underneath, and over collarbone, sucking lightly, but never enough to mark her. His thumbs rubbed soothing, tender circles where they reached behind her ears.
"Hanna," he used her name as a question, his voice stripped and raw.
"Please," she answered her lips at his ear as she kissed his neck and wrapped her arms around his back, holding him close to her.
He didn't know how he remembered in the heat of the moment, but somehow he found the condom he had with him in his wallet, tore through the foiling packaging, and pulled it on – with Hanna watching his every move all the while.
She had never seen a naked boy before Caleb, and she only got a quick glimpse of him in the shower days ago. Even with nothing to compare it to, Hanna knew that Caleb was big. She swallowed loudly in anticipation of what was to come next. She knew it was going to hurt, but she hoped she could find some pleasure and release even with the pain as her body was literally aching for him.
Now that they had the protection he returned to his previous position, his hands cradling her head lightly as he continued to rub comforting circles behind her ears with his thumbs. He aligned himself to her properly, feeling the moisture and the heat as the head of his dick moved against her entrance. The sensations rippled through both of them. His whole body shuddered while Hanna trembled beneath him. He stared deep into her eyes, still questioning. She tugged at him with her arms…answering.
With his name on her needy, breathy lips begging him to make love to her for the first time, he slowly pushed inside her, working in the slippery moisture that was proof of how badly she wanted it. For Caleb, it was borderline painful at how slowly and agonizingly he moved inside her. He moved inside her, pulling back out an inch, then back in, pushing slightly further than the previous time. Finally, he just had to do it. He had to push through her barrier and hurt her. And it felt fucking fantastic…for him.
Hanna gasped and cried out and he froze above her, his eyes the size of saucers as he searched her dainty features, begging her to tell him if she was okay. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was panting louder and rougher than before.
He stilled. "Are you alright?"
"No," she panted. She was honest, knowing that her facial expressions would give her away anyway. "But don't stop. God please, Caleb, don't stop. I'll be okay. Just don't stop."
It wasn't exactly encouraging, the way she tried to breathe through the burning pain that from the look on her twisted little face he imagined was excruciating. But she was begging for him, and despite everything else, that shit was hot. He pulled out slowly, then rocked back into her, the warmth wrapping around his every nerve-ending and blanketing him in it.
Another thrust and her eyes were still closed and he could feel how tense her whole body was. "Just try to relax, okay?" he whispered in her ear. It didn't look like it was getting any better for her and he felt like he needed to encourage her. She nodded, her eyes glued shut, and he kissed her cheek softly.
He moved slowly, looking whenever he could through his own squinted eyes at Hanna. He fought back the obscenities that threatened to fall off his lips because that wasn't exactly romantic. But she felt so fucking good around him. And she was so so tight. And she looked so beautiful as her features slowly dissolved from the twisted look of pain to one of pleasure as she opened her eyes again.
Her thighs loosened beneath him as she finally got used to his size and relaxed a little, suddenly allowing him to push himself deeper inside her. Again, she cried out. Again, he froze.
"Shit, Hanna, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry," he whispered in her ear thinking that he'd hurt her, nuzzling his nose along her ear and neck.
"No, Caleb," she panted into his shoulder. "That…feels…amazing…"
Oh thank god. He smiled into her neck and nipped at the beautiful, thin skin there.
He lifted one hand, still nesting her head in the palm of the other. He brushed back the hair stuck to her sweaty forehead, and pushed it off her face, running his warm palm over her cheek and down her neck. He pushed his hand underneath her arm and across her back, holding her tighter to him. He prayed that he could transfer the onslaught of emotion he had for her through him and into her, as he moved inside her.
Hanna crossed her long legs behind him as he rocked slowly in and out of her, feeling the splinters of hot sensation shooting through him. He could barely move because she had such a tight grip on him. It was all superfluous as the heat that he felt deep in his belly clenched and he fought to hold it back.
Her sharp little fingernails dug deep into his shoulder and she cried out, tightening around him, sending him over the already delicate edge he was balancing on. He cried out along with her, cradling her tight against him, still moving in and out slowly as both bodies stiffened, shuddered and then relaxed into one another.
He held her there for a long time, panting heavily, resting his forehead on hers, just coming down from the sheer fucking high that was making love to Hanna. Then his sensible side returned and then he realized with the shaky state of his arms, he was probably crushing her beneath him. He rolled over a few inches, his chest sliding down her arm until he was on his side, moving her with him.
"I've never felt this close to anyone before," he admitted, his voice so raw. He was still inside her and he pressed her forehead right against hers again.
"Me too," she whispered and she seriously thought she might cry from the overwhelming intimateness of the whole experience. She closed her eyes, never wanting to forget the moment and the sensations he was making her feel right then. She felt his hot breath on her neck until he pulled out of her and lay on his back beside her.
She still had her eyes closed. And Caleb moved to lay on the side of his arm so he could just look at her. She was still breathing pretty heavily and he watched the rising and falling of her chest as she came down from the high of it all. She started to shiver due to the chill of the night so he pulled a blanket up to cover both of their bodies.
He touched her cheek with the back of his fingers and wondered how she was feeling, suddenly concerned that he wasn't gentle enough. "Are you okay?"
She opened her eyes to find him looking right at her and nodded. She smiled. "I'm better than okay."
"Really?," he asked, still unsure.
"Yeah." She smiled wider and blushed. She loved how concerned he was and how gentle he'd been.
"Good." He let out a sigh of relief. "God that felt amazing Hanna," he breathed out, stroking her soft cheek again.
"I'll get better at this," she replied without really thinking, looking away from him. She felt nervous about her performance, wondering if she lived up to his expectations when it came to sex.
He couldn't believe she just said that. "Hey, look at me," he whispered moving his fingers down under her cheek to tilt her head towards his. "You're amazing." And he meant it. She was perfect in his eyes.
She shivered again and he noticed. "Cold?" he asked her and she nodded. "C'mere," he whispered lifting up his arm so she could move to lie against his chest while pulling another blanket over them.
She nuzzled into the crook of his neck and placed a sweet kiss there before quickly drifting off to sleep.
Caleb held her tight as he was on the edge of sleep himself, his mind drifting to a future with Hanna. In that moment he knew that his heart belonged in Rosewood and that he wouldn't be going anywhere as long as Hanna wanted him to stay.
He was jolted from his thoughts, however, when he saw his phone light up in a place that was out of his reach across the tent. Although he couldn't reach it, he could still make out what the screen read: One new message from Jenna Marshall.
His face went white and he gulped. Shit, shit, shit. The past few days with Hanna had made him totally forget about Jenna and what he was supposed to be doing – spying her. He felt sick to his stomach with guilt thinking about what Hanna would say if she found out.
He was quickly falling in love with the girl sleeping in his arms right now, the one he had just made love to. He vowed to break the agreement as soon as he had the chance and prayed that the whole situation wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass. Now that he had gotten to know her, he cared about her way too much. So much that it scared him. Really scared him. Hardly anything scared Caleb Rivers, but suddenly the thought of losing Hanna did and he was overwhelmed.
In the still of the night, he made a silent promise to himself as his lips lingered on the top of her head– Nothing would ever threaten his relationship with Hanna. Nothing.
A/N: Yeah I wish every girl's first time would be as good as it would be with Caleb Rivers… *sigh* Now I don't usually BEG for reviews but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I've literally been working on this for WEEKS to try to make it as perfect as possible! It's over 5,000 words w/o my author's notes! Any reviews would make me ESTATIC and they definitely encourage me to work on my pieces faster! XOXO
P.S. How freakin' adorable was that Haleb hug in 4x04?! Hanna needs her Caleb :)