Title: To Be, or Not To Be
Summary: A different take on self-insert, set after post-Alluka arc in the manga. Told from first POV.
Disclaimer: HxH is Togashi's toy, I'm just playing with them.
...
PROLOG - Day Zero
...
It was one fine afternoon when I was driving my car though the winding road up on the hills. The sun was setting on the far west, and the wind was blowing serene and breezy. I half closed my eyes as the cool wind caressed my face and blown my hair.
This road I didn't pass every day. This long and winding road took around the hill to the next town. Yeah... we're living in a suburb area in a pretty remote place. But man, did it have a great view sometimes, especially up here at the cliffy hill. I was now at the famous "city view" spot, probably thirty minutes driving from the village. It's near the rest area with a vacant parking spot for people to park their cars and watching the sunset.
I had two seconds to decide whether I wanted to stopped the car or continue the driving. I decided I'd stop for a bit. I might as well stopped now, who knew when I will see this place again.
I parked and turned off the engine. I didn't quite aware of what I was doing but then I was standing there, right before the barrier, looking impassively to the magnificent view of the valley before me. The wind still mercilessly blew my hair and face, causing my eyes to tears. I closed them.
My mind wasn't there. My mind was still busy defending the wall I built around my heart, that was now being threatened by a powerful hit from the rock launcher aiming right to its core. A one fine day indeed... only not for me.
Today my best friend got married. Heck, she got married and pregnant. Her husband was the average looking, kind hearted, hard working gentleman she knew - well, we knew - from way back. The guy I secretly harbored my crush for about a long 10 years. She suddenly came to me looking all happy and flushed... telling me she was pregnant with his child and that they're going to get married. What can I do then? I just smiled back, and said, 'that's great! I'm happy for you!'. I mean... what else can I say?
I slumped and sat there on the rocky earth, hugging my knees and let myself being distracted by the view before me. There's the village, I can almost see my house down there on the valley. And that's the garden which the party had just been held. No, forget the party.
The view was breathtaking... and the sun's last light shimmering over the village like golden blanket. I wondered why I rarely came here. It's worth the driving.
Funny thing, human beings were. All we ever did was defying logic. We defy logic all the time. I guess I hated myself for that. Envying my best friend like that... cannot stand seeing her happiness to the point that right after their "Just Married" car took off, I ran off too. I didn't know where I was going, but my bags were packed and I was out for a new chapter of my life. This state of mine now... being so spiteful is sad. Who would have liked me? Heck, even I didn't like me.
My ears picked up a faint sound of a vehicle closing in. It's getting louder, the sound. Being suddenly aware and curious, I slowly stand at my feet.
There it is, I can see it in about 20 meters far in the nearest turn, heading my way.
A pick up, seemingly uncontrollable, are reaching up fast. It's nearly comical how I just stared there in shock like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Exactly, like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Suddenly the story of my life was playing inside my head. Bit by bit, they all flashed one frame after another. Painfully slow as time was distorted. All the little details. All the scolds my parents ever gave me, all the smiles that person ever gave me, all my tears, all my joy...
It didn't register at first, but then an impact hit me. I felt intense pain, and that my body felt like it was prick by one thousand needles as I lost consciousness.
Was I dead? Was I dying? It wasn't so bad... After all, I had made preparation to get away from my current life. Being dead only set it up to 'permanent arrangement' rather just a temporary one.
During the time where time itself felt like stopping, I thought I saw blazing lights and people whispering. There were sounds... That I couldn't really figure out.
==,==,==
"I got a pulse."
"Biscuit... Biscuit are you all right?"
Hm? What was that again?
"Damn Killua, you hit her too hard!"
Killua...? What the-
"I did not hit her! She bumped into me when I was activating my new move! It's not my fault!"
Those sounds didn't make any sense... But the sea breeze - wait - sea breeze? - felt so good and it lulled me back to reality. Though I much preferred to go back to sleep...
"Ugh..." I groaned.
The pain... it was much more bearable now. I guess I'm still sore but -
But that's really not the time to worry about trivial matter, was it?
Where am I?
I guess the hit before - the hit? By that pick up? Why the hell am I doing still alive? - did quite some damage on my brain. I knew I was badly hurt when I saw the way things were then. It's not because of the sun, I was sure. The sun was fine, it was bright and normal. As much as the word "normal" go, that is.
I was in a 2D world. A real. Two-dimension, cartoony, world. It was beyond creepy. There are faces. Somehow they felt familiar. Familar 2D faces. My mind blanked out. I stretched out my hands over my face. I looked at my hand... they're cartoony. I flipped it, I moved my fingers. It's cartoony. I was really not in the position where I could think. Heck, even the word "think" doesn't exist in my vocabulary. What the hell would one's do if the world around you turned into a 2D, cartoony, animation-like-thingy?
So I took the easy way out. I passed out.
==,==,==
My eyes fluttered open as I tried to regain my consciousness. I felt sand beneath my arm... legs... waist... I heard the faint sound of the wave crashing on the beach. So it's true, I apparently was lying on a beach. A thin blanket was spread over me to shield me from the cold breeze.
It was a late afternoon, nearing sunset. The beach was beautiful. It's quite different to what I had in mind though. Felt like something was amiss here. It looked... uncanny. A sun was setting in the horizon, that's normal, right? Only that it looked... unnatural. The beach, the sun, didn't feel like they supposed to look like that. But I can't recall what they should look like.The whole settings shouldn't look or feel like this, I knew it shouldn't. But how else can a sunset beach look like?
My memory was fuzzy. I seemed to have remembered watching a different kind of sun setting over some valley from a cliffy hill... and a car... and felt a certain pang in my heart. But I can't put my fingers on it. I can't remember. Oh well. It's probably just something from a dream anyway.
"You're awake?"
A guy was sitting next to me. He had short black hair, probably in his early twenties. Wearing a glasses, putting on Hawaiian dress shirt and shorts. A book was on his hand, a book that he was probably reading before the sun had setting.
I smiled tiredly. "Yeah. What happened..?" I asked weakly as I tried to sit up.
"Well..." he sounded a bit hesitated. "It started with Gon wanting to play a ball, but I thought with nen the game could have easily turned into a nen-battle so I proposed to have a nen-less volleyball. And everyone agreed, except Killua who opted out." Leorio explained.
Wait. I'm starting to see where this was going.
"So as you're trying to catch the ball, you accidently bumped into Killua who was carelessly practicing his new moves. Long story short, you were electrocuted. Oh and also when you fell you hit your head."
Ah. That explains.
"Leorio-" Leorio? How do I know - but of course I know him... right? I know this person is Leorio, and Killua was that silver haired kid, and there's another kid too... um... yeah, that Gon kid, I think.
"Leorio, you're not playing with the rest of the guys over there?" I motioned to the group on the water. The silver haired kid, his little brother/sister Alluka/ Nanika, the black hair kid, the older guy that looked a lot like the black hair kid, just shabbier, and a red headed, lean man.
"Nah. I had enough playing for today. Besides, someone has to take care of the weak." He smiled teasingly.
"Hey! You think I'm weak?!" I pouted. Leorio let out a small laugh. I like hearing that laugh. I sat up and hugged my knees-hugged my knees? Why does this feel familiar?- watching the view in front of me. My eyes suddenly widened.
Hisoka was there. He was there standing on the beach, carefully keeping some distance from the other guys. Why was he here?
"Why is Hisoka here?" I asked Leorio absentmindedly. Leorio looked at me questioningly. "You know why he's here." he said as a matter of factly. I shook my head. "No I don't."
Leorio was still eyeing me, no doubt trying to analyze things. "Either you were playing dumb or you lost some memories because of that incident."
"I'm not playing dumb." I answered curtly.
"Too bad. The alternative isn't any better." He frowned slightly. I thought he was debating whether or not to examine my head, so I gave him indifferent glare that says 'I'm okay, now tell me'. Finally he gave up and sighed. His eyes locked into Hisoka's lean figure in the distance...
"Hisoka's here for two reasons. First, because he also wanted to get to the Dark Continent, same like you guys. And two, he's the only one who knows what Kurapika's been doing."
Sensing the change in my expression, Leorio asked. "You remember Kurapika? I know you haven't met him but..."
"Yes, I know him." Of course I know Kurapika. The blond hair kid, chain master. Pretty formidable if you ask me. Why do I know this?
This whole thing feels like a dream to me. You know how in your dream you always take things for granted? You feel like you know how things roll and which is which and who is who. It all made perfect sense in a dream. But when and only after you woke up, you realized that your dream was just all jumbled information and sometimes insane.
This was exactly like reliving such dream.
Leorio were oblivious to my pondering. "Hisoka said he will... tell us stories about Kurapika, so to speak. Since he claims to have assisting him collecting the eyes of his people during your Greed Island and Gon's Chimera Ant arc adventures. So Hisoka asked to join our little group until he could collect all the necessary requirements to get to the 'Outside'. Contract, Means, Authorization, and Qualification."
I nodded my heads. So Hisoka had been with Kurapika for the past few months... wow that was kind of unexpected. Well I guess there's no better group than us to attach yourself. We're unlikely group, but best group none the less. I figured Hisoka's will have problem finding allies as he didn't have many - if any, friends. Except maybe Illumi...
My eyes widened. "He's not going with Illumi?" I asked suddenly.
Leorio raised his eyebrows. "Your memory loss is pretty serious there. Are you sure you're okay?" he asked me with slightly worried expression. I rolled my eyes and told him that I'm fine. Leorio didn't look convinced but continued nonetheless.
"No, Illumi returned to the Zoldyck residence to settle matters with his family. Hisoka said Illumi was trying to 'use' Nanika for his own benefit - but then Silva got in his way. I guess such power is very lucrative for people in a certain career choice, especially if one's among the family." Leorio expression turned sour. I know how he felt. What a strange... strange family the Zoldyck was.
Not long after, he continued. "The exact reason why Killua and Alluka is going to go with us. Is because Killua feels that he needs strong allies. Illumi is one thing, but now he got all the Zoldyck wanting Nanika's power as well."
I nodded. That's a wise move. I certainly won't let those cold blooded 'family' of him get a grab of them just because they wanted Nanika's power.
I threw my gaze to the view before me, focusing in one shabby guy in particular.
Speaking of requirements, Ging already has three of the requirements, wasn't he? So he can show us the way to get all four, right? I know he missed one aspect of it... what was it again did he miss?
"What requirement does Ging lack?" I voiced my curiosity.
"Hoo... you forgot that too?" the cool guy smirked. "If you're not a cute girl, Biscuit, I'll let you ask him yourself. But since you're too cute for your own good..."
==,==,==
"BISQUIIIT!" the dark haired kid shouted and ran towards me. If there's any shock from the sudden yell, I quickly masked it. I turned at him, gave my most cheery smile and waved, "Hi Gon! I'm awake now!"
"Aaaah~ you surprised me! Why did you suddenly fainted like that? It scared me! For two seconds we lost you I thought you're dead!"
"Ano baba - her true age can't keep up with her current body." Killua grudgingly threw an insolent remark.
I stood up and hit him on his head. "Don't call me old woman! Besides, it was totally your fault! I wasn't using nen you idiot! I'm glad I was born strong!"
Killua turned and walked away grudgingly mumbled something that really sounded like 'How can you not be strong, you gorilla woman.'
I rolled my eyes and let it slide.
"Biscuit-neechan, forgive onichan okay? He says mean things but I can tell he likes you." Alluka/ Nanika - gosh it's so hard telling on the gender while he/she dressed like this - said with his/her big, round clear eyes that made my heart flutter. He/ she's so cute! I decided I'll go with a she, because that's how Killua referred to her anyway.
"Be quite, Alluka!" Killua scolded her with face blushing.
I laughed. "Don't worry, Alluka-chan, neechan likes Killua too." To my words, Killua's blush only gotten redder.
That's when I threw my gaze and against my will, locked up with a certain red head beauty. A red. Head. Beauty.
I can't believe I referred to him as such. I know Biscuit pegged him as 'hot' but - wait - what am I doing referring to myself as a third person? - but I guess I just didn't realize he was this gorgeous.
Ah. Serial killers. Always so charming. I resigned and sighed with the newfound conclusion in mind.
"Good you're woken up, Biscuit. We need to get going. It's already nightfall and we need to take off early in the morning." Ging gave me a smile.
"She seems... rather shaken though." Leorio cut. Everyone's expression changed, all eyes were on him now, waiting for him to explain. "She forgot a few things, recent things. Like why's Hisoka here -like why are we on the beach- and details that she should've known but doesn't."
I rolled my eyes at the glasses guy as Gon eyes turned slightly worried, "Biscuit, are you okay?"
I smiled reassuringly. "Yes Gon. Now shall we go? It's getting chilly out here." I said, tightening the sheet around my body. From the corner of my eyes I sensed Hisoka was staring at me with his famous creepy aura... but I was not sure. There's no reason for him to pay such interest at me after travelling for so long with us. I mean - he had known me since Greed Island and he knew my power, yet I never felt such aura directed at me.
I openly returned his stare with a glare. For one full second our eyes locked, and then he installed his poker face back on and all hostile aura were gone.
When Leorio, Killua, Alluka, Gon and Ging already walked a little bit into the direction we had came from, I hold up my pace to match Hisoka's - who were walking alone at the very back.
"What is it?" I asked curtly.
"Oh? What was what?" he asked with that unusually soft voice of him.
"Don't play dumb. Were you meant to kill me or something?"
Hisoka gave me his most indifference yet sweet smile. "You're strong, Biscuit-chan. I don't deny that. And yes, a fight with you will be so much fun."
There, a flicker of blood lust. But that's that, a flicker. It went away as soon as it felt.
Behind the smiling poker face, I can tell that he's serious, though. "Who knows how long I'm going to be stuck with you guys for this mission, right? It's kind of good to keep some means when the time comes where I need to relieve myself."
Anger boiled up inside me. Damn this joker. He meant to say that he could use me to channel his bloodlust whenever he felt like killing? This kid decades my junior wanted to kill me? Well we can see him try!
My head felt hazy. I felt weak, my knees tingling. It could no longer support my body and I fell on the sand.
This isn't right. This anger is not right. This anger is not mine.
With that uncanny thought which totally didn't make sense roaming on my mind screaming alarm, I lost consciousness for the second time today.
==,==,==
"Ne~ baba. You sure faint a lot." I heard Killua's voice softly spoken. It tinted with masked concern. "You're annoying but you're kinda cool... I guess. Sorry I electrocuted you, ok? Now wake up and be healthy again. You can hit me again if you want."
An awkward pause, I guess he was waiting for my response. I kept my eyes closed and pretended to be asleep... and after a while I heard him stepped back and turned away, exiting the room I slept in.
Slowly I opened my eyes and after a while, glancing around. I was apparently in a hospital. A VIP room? It was big enough to hold 3 patients but I was the only one in this room. Or so I thought.
"You..."
To the voice, I looked sideways. Ah... there. My charming serial killer. When did he entered this room, or had he been here all the time?
I grinned tiredly. Oh the irony. Hisoka and his obsession towards kids in general and Gon in particular. This had been a joke among many of us.
Many of us? Who?
Here that was again. The knowledge and perspective I shouldn't have. Or should I? Who am I? Who can tell me what I should or should not think about?
Hisoka's next sentence forced me to listen to him, and I welcomed the distraction.
"You should get better soon."
Eh.
That was unexpected. I looked at him, dumbfounded. "Why the sudden attention?" I asked, though I already knew what his answer is. "Nope, foolish question. Don't answer." I took back my inquiry.
The red head beauty - oh damn myself for referring him as such - smiled.
"Well then. I'll see you tomorrow, Bi-su-ke-chan." He whispered with a low and alluring voice. Needless to say I got goose bumps for merely hearing them.
"Get out, Hisoka." I said curtly, face slightly blushed. He laughed and walked away.
Now... it's just me and myself. That's good. That's good. I tried to control my breath that was slightly paced up to the effect of Hisoka's whisper. Now I had the much needed time to think.
...
CHAPTER 1 - Day One
...
Or so I had thought. The nurse came right after and dosed me with sleeping medicine, saying that since "my friends" said we're going to take off early in the morning, they can't afford me losing anymore energy and kept on passing out. Oh and the nurse also said that a certain Killua was being bullied by everyone from having caused me this condition. I remembered I smiled and told the nurse to tell Killua that he didn't have to worry... that I was okay and that he didn't do anything wrong. And then I passed out. Like, for the third times that day.
==,==,==
Now I've completely recovered. I can feel it. I'm a brand new person. Wow, whatever was on that medicine was good stuff. Yesterday was a weird experience... but I guess that's what you get from being electrocuted and then hit your head. Oh well. Now let's focus on the task as hand, shall we? I wonder if the guys are ready.
I walk down the stairs from my room on the second floor and see that everyone has already gathered in the lobby.
" BISQUIIIT! You're early! I thought you're still asleep!"
Lovely. Of course, Gon greets me with his extra cheerful energy this morning too.
"Biscuit, you're recovered completely yet?" Leorio asks me, voice stern with tint of both care and authority. I smile. He really fits to be a doctor.
"As good as new!" I reply, making a leap down from the fifth step from the stairs to the floor. "What time do we go?" I ask them.
"As soon as you're ready." Ging says, motioned at the truck parked outside to which I assume will be our transportation today.
"I'll be ready as soon as I had breakfast. Gosh I'm starving."
After we had meals, we proceed to the parking lot where we all get into a really, really convenient insides of a truck with two beds, sofas, tables, TV, bathrooms, and even mini bar. Killua happily turns on the TV and grabs the joy station and start browsing for games and teaching Alluka how to play. Hisoka decides to act indifferent and sit on the bar's stool and looks cool. Gon sits on one of the beds and jumping up and down with glee. It's crazy how Ging could get such accommodation when he demands it.
Leorio is driving us. It's too bad that he won't come with us. He said his education comes first. After all, the reason he became Hunter was to get enough money to fund his medical school. He can't stop midway - not before he graduated and become real doctor with title and everything.
As we ride the van, Ging makes a final brief and overview this 'mission'.
Ging said he won't go with us. I knew that, of course. He told us three days ago. But Gon still looks crestfallen. Ging said he needed to secure himself the Means so he will go first to Kakin to meet Beyond Netero. Beyond Netero is the only few people with enough resources to actually carry on the expedition. The Hunters that's been gathering on Kakin will not need the Authorization since Beyond Netero already took care of it. However, Ging doesn't want to go along with Beyond Netero's Hunters. He wants to go with his own pack, namely his son and his son's comrades. Therefore, we all need to get our own Authorization.
Wait a minute.
Something doesn't fit well with that statement.
Hisoka doesn't need to go with us. He could just go straight to Beyond Netero like the rest of the Hunters!
I quickly shot a glare towards the red head joker, who meets my gaze and returns it with knowing look. His expression says, 'because I want to. Because it's fun. Because I want to. You know. Just because.'
I can't believe it. This is Hisoka we're talking about! The master of lies! The one with hidden agenda! I just can't believe it! Why did Ging let this dangerous man travelling along with his kid? Though to be honest... deep inside, I kind of understand why... It's because Ging believes in Gon, and believes in fate. That the universe favors Gon and that Gon will be all right. For whatever reason possible. For the exact same reason he had been leaving him for years in Whale Island. The blind faith he kept showing even when Gon was sleeping on the death's door just a week ago, before Killua brought Nanika to save him. Even with the likes of Hisoka nearing him in the whole period of an ongoing mission.
==,==,==
"The four of you, Biscuit, Gon, Killua and Hisoka. I take it you know each other's strength well by now. That's necessary if you're going to go as a group that serves the same purpose. The challenge will mostly lie on you, Killua, as you're taking Alluka with you."
I nodded, and Killua only gives Ging a serious look.
"You get to go visit Zaku, the president of V5. It's an organization that rules over the 6 continents, a union of 250 nations, and he's the chairman of that organization. He's the most influenced person on earth, and you'll need to get Authorization from him."
Suddenly I got the feeling that this can't be easy.
"The airship will take you to Tarabian continent. There you get to go to Juna City, the capital city of V5. Remember, don't cause trouble as you're going to meet with the most bureaucratical place in the face of this planet. The use of brute force will only result in instant denial to your Authorization, which means failing the mission. Any crime conducted within the area of the city will also cause rejection."
Gon directs his glare to the jester. "Hisoka, you heard that?"
"A~ah." Hisoka answers playfully, rising his head a bit, gesturing that he hears him.
"You will ask to be met with Zaku on his office. And then afterwards, he will give you assignments of which you need to carry out without fail. He can give all of you one assignment, or different assignment to each of you, depending on his will."
"Gosh... that's so not cool." Killua interrupted, "Is that allowed? That's so selfish and unfair." he said mockingly.
Hearing that, Ging just smiles. "You remember your own Hunter Exam, don't you? Tell me what's fair about it?"
The silver haired kid tilts his head, musing. And after a few seconds his expression brightens as he comes up with conclusion and nods. "There's nothing fair about the Hunter exam. All examiners came up with their own set of rules and the applicants just need to get along with it, whatever they might be."
"Exactly."
"So that's it? We just need to carry out whatever he has in store?" Gon clarifies.
"Basically, yes. Later on, after you finished the assignment, took out your passport - don't lose them - and ask for a certain stamp on the very back of the pages. One page from the last. Ask the stamp as it will serve as your Authorization. It looks like this."
Ging took out his passport from the back of his pocket and show us the stamp. It looks like a tattoo design of a fire bird.
I nodded. "Roger. After that, what will we do?"
The shabby man motioned to his son, "After that, return to the Hunter Association building to meet Cheadle or the Zodiac. She will tell you what to do to get your Contract. And the airship I'm about to lend you is completely at your disposal during this mission."
Hearing that, the kids' expression brightens up. If the truck is this extravagant, how marvelous the airship would be?
At that time, the truck is gradually slowing down. Hisoka throws a glance over the window.
"We're here." His silky voice announces our arrival at the airport.
==,==,==
"Gon! Take care of yourself, okay!" Leorio yells. Gosh this man, always so loud. "Killua! I know you have your sister with you now but take care of Gon too!" he shouts. His eyes were teary and his lips slightly trembling. Gon laughs heartily and tries to calm him down, patting his shoulder. "We'll be fine, Leorio! Don't worry about us!"
Leorio perks up and shots a certain man murderous glare. "And you! If you think for one second of hurting these kids, I'll kill you!" the sentence was directed at Hisoka.
The said man only gives knowing smirk and responds with his usual indifferent tone, "A~ah. Don't worry. I'll take care of them."
Oops. Dual meaning there. Which doesn't escape Leorio. "Honestly Hisoka... you..." he grit his teeth, his expression darkens. It seems that he really can't trust Hisoka with his friends. I nudge him a little. "Relax, Leorio. I'm there with them too." I smile reassuringly. Leorio takes a long look at me and then nods. "I know, Biscuit. Well. I'll trust you with these kids. Please!" he then bows 90 degrees which kinda caught me off guard.
Fortunately, he was cut abruptly as Ging chose that exact time to approach us and hand us our visa.
"Here's your visa." He took one for each of us, told us to stick them with our passports, and then show us the way to the airship.
The airship is just like what I thought it would be. Big and lavish, with rooms after rooms and even one big aula for meetings, and - I haven't seen yet but from what Leorio said - Jacuzzi and swimming pool.
That's just crazy. How did Ging has these kind of means, anyway? I can't help holding in my curiosity so I asked him. "How in the world are you in a possession of such airship?" and from what I see, the other guys show a varying degree of interest too.
"Hmm? Who said it's mine? It's the Hunter Association's. It's the fastest airship in existence. I just told Cheadle to borrow it for special occasion in return of me giving her my words to grant her one wish in the future, when she needs it."
My jaw dropped. THIS is the Hunter Association's? We're travelling using the asset of Hunter Association? That's... that's just...
"That's so cool!" Killua shouts, his face lights up. "I always know your dad's something, Gon."
"Isn't he? Hehehe!" Gon laughs sheepishly in agreement, seemingly proud of his dad.
But I'm thinking another. That was a pretty big favor. Who knows what Cheadle or the Hunter Association will ask from Ging in the future? We don't need this lavish airship. We can do by normal airship... why did Ging have to go his way to borrow this?
"However." Ging's voice stops my train of thoughts. "Your visa only valid for 30 days. If it's over 30 days and you still haven't finished your task, you need to get out from the country and can forget about the Authorization all together."
Everyone freezes on their tracks.
"You're only given one chance and one chance only. During the 30 days since you entered V5, you need to success. Use this airship to go anywhere in the world during the 30 days if or when you need to do so. You hear me?"
I sweat dropped. Now he's talking. Why do bombs always being dropped the last?
**(to be continued)**
...
A/N: next chapter will be them entering the V5 and meeting Zaku. What kind of assignment awaits them? Reviews are love.