I step out of the school library. It is well after school hours, and the hallway is entirely deserted. It is unusual for me to remain this late, but the exams are approaching and studying has become vital. My bag is heavy from the weight of the books it contains. My head feels just as full from all the things I had to memorize – and it is beginning to ache as well. My back is sore from being bent over textbooks for hours; my mother would probably tell me I wouldn't have such pains if I kept in shape and joined a sports club. But there isn't any sport that interests me. In fact, I am not interested in joining any club at all.
I stretch my back and start walking toward the exit of the building, but something makes me stop. In the quietness of the school, I can hear the distinct sound of a piano being played. I sigh and shake my head while smiling, knowing all too well who the player is. I turn around and face the stairs. I go up the steps while listening to the melody. I recognize the piece but I would be unable to name it if asked. I am a complete novice concerning music.
As I keep going up, the tune gets clearer. I stop at the second floor and make my way to the music room. There are often people in the hallway who come to listen, but right now, there is no one. I walk as lightly as possible, almost feeling afraid that being too loud would shatter the whole melody. When I reach the door, I see it is slightly ajar. I take a peek inside the room.
There is my childhood friend, Shindou Takuto. He is alone, playing that majestic grand piano that only very few students can play, let alone master. I can't see his fingers but I can see his arms moving. His eyes are closed, almost screwed shut as if he was in pain. It will not surprise me if he starts crying. I know the effects the music has on him and how emotional he is. It is something I have always admired – the way he cries freely when something touches him deeply.
I remain still until the song is finished. I resist the urge to clap and I stay quiet until Shindou opens his eyes. They set upon me at once, as if Shindou had already been aware of my presence.
"Kirino," he says with a smile that urges me to go inside the room.
I comply and go to sit in an empty chair.
"You're here late," I say.
"The same goes for you."
"Studies, you know. You're lucky you've got such a good head. You don't need to work as hard as me."
He laughs a bit. "I can help you if you want."
I shake my head. "I wouldn't want to interfere with you club activities. And you've got this piano contest soon."
I have no doubt that he will win. The real reason I'm pushing him away is because we are too different. When I was a child, I wasn't really conscious of it. Of course, Shindou lived in a house much bigger than mine, with servants that called him 'young master' but it didn't matter at the time. Now that we're growing up, I come to realize we have nothing in common. He is the son of a wealthy family, a genius and a virtuoso on the piano. I am a regular boy with average grades who can only play a few nursery rhymes on the recorder.
"I have this feeling you've been looking down on yourself a lot lately," Shindou says, stirring me out of my reflection. I stiffen; I hadn't expected him to understand. I guess I am bad at hiding things.
"You're overthinking," I reply with a shrug.
"You used to come here all the time." There is no hint of sadness in his voice. He is merely stating a fact.
I stay quiet for a long time, my eyes set upon a violin case probably forgotten by another student. Shindou is just as silent and I wonder if he's looking at me.
"I can't visit this club all the time," I finally say. "I'm not a member. And I don't want people to think I'm like those girls who come all the time more to ogle at you that to listen to what you're playing."
"You're not like them." The response came quickly. I look at Shindou, surprised. "I enjoy having you come here to listen."
"I can't enjoy it anymore," I say, lowering my gaze. "We're not kids any longer. We are not part of the same world anymore."
He doesn't say anything back to this. He stands up and closes the lid of the piano with great care.
"I wish we still had a passion in common," I continue. "Like when we were young and playing soccer in the park." I smile at the memory.
"It's strange you're saying this."
I raise an eyebrow in interrogation.
"This morning, there was a first-year student who thought I was the captain of the soccer club."
"Really?"
He nods. "He looked quite disappointed when I told him he would have to attend another school in order to join a soccer club."
It is true we don't have any soccer club in this school. I wonder why. I feel a tingling sensation while thinking about it.
"If there had been such a club, would you have joined?" I find myself asking.
I expect Shindou to instantly banish the thought but he seems to be really considering the question.
"I think I would have," I say. "If you had joined too."
He smiles at this. "It wouldn't have been so bad I guess."
"Hey, you know what?" I feel suddenly very excited. "Maybe we could try playing soccer a bit tomorrow before class?"
"That sounds good to me, Kirino."
I wake up in the morning, feeling like I had a very strange dream. But the memories of it disappear with the strident ring of my alarm clock. I get up and quickly start getting prepared for going to school. I do not want to be late.
As I brush my hair, I try to think about my dream but it still escapes me. I remember I was talking to Shindou, but that's about it. I end up shrugging and reach for my hair ties.
When I go downstairs, the lights are all off; my parents are most likely still asleep. I help myself some food for a light breakfast. After that, I put everything away and make my way to the door. I sit down and put on my shoes. Then I stand up and grab my sports bag. I'm ready to leave.
I step outside. The weather feels warm. As I walk, I have the feeling it's almost too early, though I always leave the house before it's even seven o' clock.
"How strange," I whisper in the morning air.
On my way to school I catch sight of Shindou. I call out to him. He stops and waits for me to reach him.
"Good morning, Kirino."
"Good morning, Shindou."
We smile and he resumes walking.
"You know, I dreamed of you last night," I say.
"Really?"
"Yeah," I say, suddenly remembering more details from my dream. "We made a promise to play soccer together in the morning. But... I think we weren't in the soccer club."
"Really?" Shindou looks amused. "So which club were we in?"
"You were in the music club, I think. I can't remember about me. But I think there wasn't any soccer club at all."
"It sounds like it would be a real nightmare to Tenma."
We both laugh.
"Still, I'm glad it was just a dream," I say quietly. "It felt lonely not to be in the same club as you."
"I think it would be boring without you around too," he replies with a sincere smile that lifts my heart with elation.
"Our friendship means a lot to me, Shindou," I confide. "I'm glad we have this love for soccer in common."
Because aside from that, we are a lot different.
"But in your dream, we were still friends, right?" he reminds me.
I nod, putting aside this uneasy feeling I had, this fear of becoming inferior to him, of being unable to stay on the same level as him.
"You're right. I guess we would still be together, no matter what."
My hand brushes against his. I feel his long, delicate fingers that can play piano so divinely and that leads our team like a master conductor would. I take a deep breath, trembling already at what I am going to say.
"Shindou, I-"
"Good morning, you two!"
I frown in annoyance at this interruption from Kariya Masaki. Of course, if someone was to interrupt a confession, that would be him.
"You look like a pair of lovebirds on this fine morning."
"Kariya..." I groan.
The blue-haired boy grins innocently – though I know he is just acting as usual – and walks past us. I let out a sigh. Shindou doesn't comment and looks slightly amused.
In a way, I'm a bit relieved for Kariya's interruption. Maybe it is for the best that I don't confess my deepest feelings to Shindou. I know I would most likely have been turned down if I had.
"We should hurry, Shindou," I say before he can ask me about what I was about to say earlier.
"You're right." He nods and we start walking briskly to the school. As best friends.