Dear Shane
Shane/Tess
--
Dear Shane,
You haven't heard from me, I know that, and I'm sorry. But communication works both ways and I didn't hear from you either. So I guess we're even.
But even if I wasn't talking to you, it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about you. Because, the truth is, I think about you way to much.
Every hour, every minute, every second of my day is consumed with thoughts of you and what we could have been. I'm going crazy to the point where I'm not even conscious of the world around me.
But the thing is I don't even know why I think about you so much, why I miss you so much.
Because you're a bastard. Looking back now, I realize that you are a complete bastard.
Because of you I lost two friendships, both I may never get back.
Because of you I cried for four straight hours in public, to the point where my eyes could not produce anymore tears. I had run out. I was empty.
And then there's the confusing part. I don't know if I should hate you, or if I should miss you.
Well, actually, I know I should hate you. But I don't, not even the littlest bit. Because the truth is, I could never hate you. Not in a million years.
So I wait for the day when we will see each other again, pretending to everyone I don't care, wondering to myself if things will be different.
Knowing they will be.
Because we're just two teenagers, from two different worlds, who crossed paths in such an unexpected way.
And I just wanted to let you know that, out of all the guys I know, you're the only guy in my life I could actually see myself falling in love with.
And it hurts so bad, because we could never fall in love.
The New Jersey bastard and the California Princess.
It just doesn't make sense.
But even through all this, when they ask me what my favourite part was, I'd say you.
Every single time
Every fucking time, I'd say you.
So thanks a lot, thank you for making me feel this way.
Love Tess.