Disclaimer : I don't own anything.Gundam wing and it's characters
belong to their to their to theit rightful owners. I may continue this fic
if you want me to.Thanks for reading.
"Everything is flux."
Red downtown heaven
By:Red Joker
If you must really know who I am,I am a prostitute.The funny thing is when you
you are walking across a street or wandering through the streets full of people you will only see me as a normal boy.I too have my mask and adjust it when I come in contact with people.All of us put on different masks but they don't fool
me.I am not saying I will be able to stare into your naked soul or anything.It's just
that it has been a long while since I have stopped seeing with my eyes.When
people come near,I let my senses wander and just feel their being.Today I was
sitting in the library hall,my back towards the world and losing myself to the to the universe created inside that little flickering box.I have and e-mail from my sister.
No I don't wanna go back.I don't wanna go back to those hollow stares,to the
emptiness, to nightmares...I get out.The world is quiet,the silence surrounding me
is made of glass.I scream.It shatters.I pick up a broken piece and I cut my flesh and it bleeds and bleeds.I dig further till I get to that nightmare lingering somewhere in my uncouscious.I wanna cut through that too.
One great thing about this new life is that I don't have to cope with my family
anymore.They were a really good family in case you are wandering if I left home
because I was mistreated.There was one thing wrong with them though.They all
all came from some exotic universe and they were pretty amazing people when you thought about them as as natives of a distant planet.I left home because I was rotten inside and out.
My childhood was pretty silly.The funny thing is I wasn't so naïve and good
as other children even back then.I remember myself stealing crayons and hiding
shoes that I had filled with mud.I remember myself throwing a gold wedding ring
down a pipe,My sister's wedding ring to be precise and getting in trouble for it.I
am proud of myself for that.I never was like other kids.I was simply a selfcentered
idiot but a happy one.I lost myself in the world of poetry and book and made up
the oddest characters from the people I saw in the everyday life.
It all changed pretty quickly.I split apart when I was 14.It just all happened
because I had to grow up over one year.I don't blame anybody for that really.
I lost my friends,my sanity and my sense of belonging.I grew distant and one
day I just took off on my wings and ran away from it all.
Now I travel playing my fiddle in the corner of the street and gather money.I
don't belong anywhere and I am not committed to anybody not even God or
myself.I have slept in lots of weird places.For me prostitution is a form of survival.
I am actually afraid of sex and you know something I die every time it happens or
else I would be screaming or crying from pain.I like my life this way,I get to be
reborn a thousand times in a life time.
When I am all by myself lying on the wet asphalt staring at the red downtown
heaven,I dream of the stars I will see tonight.Nothing can disturb my peace as I
open my chest and let the night sink in bringing the all the beauty and bitterness
of an unknown mystery inside of me.The mystery of night.I am not a stranger to the night.It hides in the castle of darkness and when I am down it sings to me or
takes me to chase the moon in the water puddles till I am nothing but a faint shadow,part of the background of this city,of this world even.That's why you can
never tell I am a prostitute even if you stare into my naked soul.Each night I am baptized again in the forever cycle of death,birth,life and eternity.
belong to their to their to theit rightful owners. I may continue this fic
if you want me to.Thanks for reading.
"Everything is flux."
Red downtown heaven
By:Red Joker
If you must really know who I am,I am a prostitute.The funny thing is when you
you are walking across a street or wandering through the streets full of people you will only see me as a normal boy.I too have my mask and adjust it when I come in contact with people.All of us put on different masks but they don't fool
me.I am not saying I will be able to stare into your naked soul or anything.It's just
that it has been a long while since I have stopped seeing with my eyes.When
people come near,I let my senses wander and just feel their being.Today I was
sitting in the library hall,my back towards the world and losing myself to the to the universe created inside that little flickering box.I have and e-mail from my sister.
No I don't wanna go back.I don't wanna go back to those hollow stares,to the
emptiness, to nightmares...I get out.The world is quiet,the silence surrounding me
is made of glass.I scream.It shatters.I pick up a broken piece and I cut my flesh and it bleeds and bleeds.I dig further till I get to that nightmare lingering somewhere in my uncouscious.I wanna cut through that too.
One great thing about this new life is that I don't have to cope with my family
anymore.They were a really good family in case you are wandering if I left home
because I was mistreated.There was one thing wrong with them though.They all
all came from some exotic universe and they were pretty amazing people when you thought about them as as natives of a distant planet.I left home because I was rotten inside and out.
My childhood was pretty silly.The funny thing is I wasn't so naïve and good
as other children even back then.I remember myself stealing crayons and hiding
shoes that I had filled with mud.I remember myself throwing a gold wedding ring
down a pipe,My sister's wedding ring to be precise and getting in trouble for it.I
am proud of myself for that.I never was like other kids.I was simply a selfcentered
idiot but a happy one.I lost myself in the world of poetry and book and made up
the oddest characters from the people I saw in the everyday life.
It all changed pretty quickly.I split apart when I was 14.It just all happened
because I had to grow up over one year.I don't blame anybody for that really.
I lost my friends,my sanity and my sense of belonging.I grew distant and one
day I just took off on my wings and ran away from it all.
Now I travel playing my fiddle in the corner of the street and gather money.I
don't belong anywhere and I am not committed to anybody not even God or
myself.I have slept in lots of weird places.For me prostitution is a form of survival.
I am actually afraid of sex and you know something I die every time it happens or
else I would be screaming or crying from pain.I like my life this way,I get to be
reborn a thousand times in a life time.
When I am all by myself lying on the wet asphalt staring at the red downtown
heaven,I dream of the stars I will see tonight.Nothing can disturb my peace as I
open my chest and let the night sink in bringing the all the beauty and bitterness
of an unknown mystery inside of me.The mystery of night.I am not a stranger to the night.It hides in the castle of darkness and when I am down it sings to me or
takes me to chase the moon in the water puddles till I am nothing but a faint shadow,part of the background of this city,of this world even.That's why you can
never tell I am a prostitute even if you stare into my naked soul.Each night I am baptized again in the forever cycle of death,birth,life and eternity.