Musing

Sirius POV

He thinks that I don't notice him, but I do. Those amber eyes that watch my every move. Does he know that I watch him too?

I have his body memorized. The strong limbs that look thin, but I know holds unnatural strength, the torso criss-crossed with scars. His tight buttocks. I shiver as the last thought sends chills down my spine. I would to anything to kiss those soft lips of his, to get to examine forever his beautiful amber eyes.

I hate myself because I know that I can never date him. He must not even know how much I truly like him.

He doesn't know that what I do is an act, an act to protect myself and everyone I know and love, most especially him.

If my family knew I was in love with a boy they might kill me, not that I care, but what matters most to me is that they might go after him before me.

That is what scares me most, and what drives me to find every single girl I can get to go on a date with me. It is better that my family believe me a regular heterosexual male than the person I truly am.

I am in love with Moony.

I would go to the ends of the earth for him, to death for him, to prison for him... maybe that is why I am becoming an animagus.

James believes I thought of it as a friendly gesture, not a romantic one. He isn't quite aware yet, of either of us, I believe. Not that him not knowing is a good thing. One of the qualities that attracted me to James, I admit I had a crush on him when we first met, was that he was so blindly trusting and loyal, that James accepted anyone for who they really were and not based on the face or name.

Merlin knows that if James was anything like my family he would have asked me my name first before deciding to ally himself against me. Notice how I said ally and not befriend. There are no friends for most of the pureblood families, just shallow alliances, some more stable than others. As it is I believe right now the delicate alliance between both Malfoy and Lestrange is being worked out with 'The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black' as 'Cissy and Bella' prepare to be married off.

I don't understand how they can be willing to give themselves up so easily, but of my cousins at least 'Meda had the common decency to get sorted into a different house.

I break out of my silent contemplation as I hear Moony whimper in his sleep. Naturally, due to the nocturnal nature of the werewolf, he has a slight case of insomnia. It is only after the full moon that he manages to sleep easily, though his sleep is hardly restful. He tosses and turns and whimpers, the terror in his mind from his transformation possibly plaguing his nightmares. I really don't know what he dreams about, I am too afraid to ask. Silly, I know, but I do not want to scare him away.

Moony, he really is like an animal sometimes. I don't mean it negatively, but more like... a wild rabbit than a wolf. He can come close to you, but a sudden movement and he goes darting away to hide in the tall grass.

His gentleness is almost contradictory to what others might call his "savage nature." I personally think that they are all full of hippogriph crap.

Moony is Moony. He is the kind soul that takes time out of his schedule to tutor the younger students when they ask him for help. He helps little old ladies cross the street. He would rather read a book than go vandalize property or even party. He rarely drinks though he can hold his alcohol incredibly well. He is shy, but unafraid to fight for what he believes in and unafraid to stand as the sole conscience of our group.

I chuckle at the "little old ladies" part, though I really wouldn't put it past him.

Moony whimpers in his sleep again. I myself am ready to fall asleep, but I drag my body out of bed and to his side. The curtains around his bed are closed, but are no hassle for me to move them enough to sneak in.

I know that one day he might wake up and catch me, but I really don't care.

Quite possibly it might be sick to realize that I enjoy it when his sleep is uneasy, but it isn't that I take pleasure in his pain as much as I get to do this.

Quietly, gently, I lay myself on his bed beside him, I wrap one arm around him and rest my head on his pillow. I smile as I lie there, next to him, holding him, smelling the scent of his shampoo and hair.

I am too tired and though I struggle to remain awake I feel myself fall into deep sleep.

Remus POV

I feel my bed shift and a heavy shape lies next to me, a weight across my waist. I tense up hoping the person won't notice until I feel calm, even breaths tickling the back of my hair.

I couldn't help waking up, I kept on having this delicious dream about Sirius licking me... in places...

I smile because I know that at least in my dreams I can express myself, even if it is only through the whimpering due to the pleasure that he gives to me.

I count to five in my head before slowly rolling my body to see who is lying beside me.

I couldn't help the breath that got caught in my throat when I saw Sirius. He was beautiful asleep.

Slowly, very slowly, I move the covers off of me and reach down to the foot of my bed to grab the spare blanket lying there.

The least I could do is cover him. It is a cold night after all.

This is a repeat from the one shot. I'll leave it up on the other story for a week before I take it down.

Let's see chapter two now, neh?

Please R+R. Your reviews make my muses work faster/harder/longer. ^^