Aneko: Didn't think I'd ever put a fic in this section, but lookie lookie!
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. If I did, Kikyo would NEVER have been there.
Falling
Kagome walked as quickly as she could through the trees, head down.
"Oi—oi, Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted irately. He was already catching up to her, but she kept walking anyway. She didn't want to face him now. Not after…
Kagome shook her head. She was not about to start thinking about it.
"Would you stop and just listen to me?!" Inuyasha grabbed her arm. Kagome stopped, but didn't look at him.
"Let go of me Inuyasha! I just want to be by myself right now, okay?" Kagome tried to pull her arm out of his grasp, but of course she couldn't. He was too stubborn to let go.
"Tell me why you're running away from me!"
They were both practically shouting in each others' face.
"I'm not running away!"
"Yes you are—tell me what's wrong!"
That did it. Kagome whirled around in his grasp, ignoring the discomfort of the position her wrist was in.
"What's wrong? What's wrong?! I saw you with Kikyo again, Inuyasha." Her voice grated harshly on her own ears on the last statement.
Inuyasha's eyes suddenly lost their fire, and he looked uncomfortably to the side. Kagome took a deep breath to still her body, which quivered with emotion. She knew that Inuyasha still loved Kikyo—of course she knew. But why did she always have to be reminded of it? It felt like she was always the one to find them together. Each time her heart broke a little. She loved Inuyasha. She didn't think she ever wouldn't. But still…
Inuyasha's grip on her had gone slack, and Kagome finally batted his hand away.
"Just…leave me alone for a little while, okay?"
Kagome walked away, leaving Inuyasha standing there helplessly.
Kagome wandered, not really sure where she was going. All she wanted was to be alone. That, and to hold on to her memories of Inuyasha when she was all he was looking at, without having them broken by seeing him with Kikyo.
If only she wasn't…
Kagome gasped, hugging herself. She was wishing that selfish wish again. If only Kikyo weren't around.
I really am a bad girl, She thought, tears filling her vision. She looked at her surroundings absently. She had made her way to the Goshinboku. She walked up to it, touching the spot where she had found Inuyasha with a finger. The cavity in the wood from the arrow was still there.
The first place she had met him…so long ago…back then, they had hated each other. Now, that couldn't be further from the truth. At least, not for her.
She kept walking, and eventually she was standing next to the bone-eater's well. Another place with so many memories. Kagome stepped up to the aged wood and traced the contour of a knot with her finger. She sat on the edge and looked up at the sky, pulling her knees up to her chest. It really was a beautiful day, but she couldn't seem to appreciate it now.
Why did it always feel like she couldn't win? Like no matter what she did, she was never good enough?
"Tell me why you're running away!"
Maybe she was running away. Running away from Inuyasha inevitably telling her that she could never replace Kikyo.
Was it too much to ask for him to just see her standing there, by his side? Apparently. A rustle in the grass alerted her, and Kagome looked up.
Inuyasha.
He was just standing there, staring at her with something she couldn't describe. Kagome was suddenly aware that she had just been crying. She swiped haphazardly at her puffy, red eyes, knowing it would do no good. Instead she turned away from him, looking out over the forest.
"Are you going back to your time?"
The question surprised her. She had thought he might ask her, or tell her something or other, but not that.
"What?"
"Are you going back to your time?" He was being uncharacteristically quiet and patient.
Kagome took a moment to take a deep breath before responding. She stood, looking down into the dry well.
"No. Not right now. Who knows when another shard of the jewel will pop up, right?" She could hear the false cheeriness in her own voice.
It was just an excuse. She didn't want to go back. No matter how many times she could hear her heart breaking, no matter how many times she fell, knowing he would never be there to catch her, she would always fall again, always break again, for him. She loved him that much.
From behind her, something took hold of her wrist. Inuyasha's pointed nails hardly grazed her skin as he wrapped his hand gently around it. Her heart missed a beat. Kagome turned to look at him.
"Kagome, I…" he started. It looked like he was having trouble getting the words to come. "I don't…know how...to…" He stopped, looking down at the ground. A moment later, he seemed to have regained his purpose, and he looked into directly her eyes.
"Kagome, I know that I've hurt you. I'm sorry, I don't want to, I just…I can't…"
Kagome knew the words. He couldn't let go. And it was destroying him on the inside, somehow.
"It's okay, Inuyasha," Kagome said, and she smiled at him, as brightly as she could, her voice nearly breaking, if only to keep that look off his face. She didn't want to see that broken, defeated look. And she wasn't okay. Not really. But she wouldn't tell him that, and hurt him more. "Really, it's okay."
Suddenly, Inuyasha pulled her forward, into his chest. Kagome's breath caught in her throat at the unexpectedness of it.
Kagome felt moisture staining the neckline of her dress. Was Inuyasha…crying?!
"I-Inuyasha?"
"Don't look at me…" His voice was ragged.
Kagome hesitated, before wrapping her arms around Inuyasha. In response he held her more tightly.
She would just have to fall again. And she would keep falling, because until he saw her and finally caught her, there would be no ground for her to stand on.
But...maybe he was a little closer than she had thought…
I'm waiting, Inuyasha. Now all you have to do is look up.
Aneko:-holds breath- So? What do you think? Let me have it. –Covers ears in preparation- Just no flames. Constructive!! Onegai! Ja, Sayonara.