Several screams echoed the concrete walls while chains dragged across the cold floor we walked on with sneakers provided by society. " I didn't do it! I swear on my mothers grave!", hearing the pathetic scum yelling for mercy annoyed every fibre of my soul.
How can he think he is innocent? There's a reason we ended up in prison, most of the time it is for a crime, there's barely any prisoners who don't belong here.
" Listen to me! I'm innocent, I tell you! " placing an arm over my eyes I tried to drown out the bastard that the guards are dragging into a cell.
The scratchy fabric of the orange jump-suit is rough on my flesh while lying on the hard mattress. There is nothing truly comfortable about prison.
Uniforms are scratchy and thin.
Mattresses hard enough to break an egg, and shallow sheets to make it look like a regular bed.
Inmates aren't what they seem like in movies or show, I know this since I've been in jail several times; but this time I'm in here for good. A life sentence or the chair. Why did my lawyer chose ' life-sentence ' ? I would have rathered death.
There is nothing on this planet for me.
No one here for me; the only people that visited me are my family and a girl from High-school. I'm not sure why she keeps coming to see me. She knew about...
I sighed gently while my thoughts ended. Thinking about her, the one that I am in here for... is too hard for me.
" Oi! ", keys rattling from the door signaled the return of my cell-mate. " Miss me, Raku? "
Glancing over to the door, my eyes landed on my cell-mate. Tall, skinny guy with glasses and blonde hair. Really upbeat guy, but a little too happy for a prisoner. When he first became my cell-mate he got picked on by other convict's, brought too much attention to me and started fights with the strongest, most violent and murderous men in the prison.
" Not at all ", I muttered while turning on my side to face the white wall of the cell.
Shu is only in prison for robbery. He stole over a million dollars for the government; how did the skinny nerd do it?
Simple. He hacked into the national bank, transferred the money equally throughout hundreds of accounts he owned over the country, and went to every bank where he took the money out of the accounts. Smart but stupid; eventually the police noticed the links between the transfers and tracked him from bank to bank.
He only got ten-years for federal crime.
" Stop moping around! We're lucky to have such a fine prison where we have men and women in the same building, cells and quarters ", he exclaimed with his fist high in the air and bright smile cross his lips.
I waved off his excitement. " None of those women are my love-"
" She's dead Raku", Shu interrupted in a serious tone.
Sorrow weighed on my heart as I thought of the night. That cold nightmare of a night.
" Just because she's dead doesn't mean, I willing to give up on what we had ", choking back tears in my eyes; I gripped my body tightly trying to forget the night flashing before me.
Looking down to my hands a sickly feeling swirled in my stomach while I thought of thick red blood dripping over my palms. Her blood smelt like sugar but, I never wanted to smell her cells on my hands.
" What was so special about this Kirisaki chick anyways? When you talk about her, you sound like you're praising god ", he won't understand. Nobody understands what I and... Chitoge had when she was alive.
Shu left the cell when I didn't answer his question.
Painful screams of prisoners on the break of insanity gradually became screams of civilians running in terror.
Slowly I began to drift to sleep, and my eyelid grew heavy.
I met her on a mission, one that I had to do for my father and the gang we ruled. This mission was everything to my family; it is the only upper hand we would get against our enemy.
With all the importance of this job racing through my head, I glanced around the street-fair aimlessly thinking no one would hit me. If they did, my nerves would get the better of me and I would shoot at all cost.
Looking over everyone I walked passed, I searched for the girl my father told me to kill. She is the leaders daughter, the one who's going to become the next leader of the Angel's Gang.
My own gang hated them with a passion. Personally, I think it's because of the rich lives they have and their fancy clothes; besides that there isn't much of a difference, aside from weapons.
Just then, someone bumped into me.
I stepped back and pulled out the gun from my jean waist-line and aimed at the person who touched me.
" Ah, just the man I'm going to kill ", her sweet voice sang in my ears making my grip loosen on the gun. " Raku Ichijo ".
Screams echoed the happy air of the festival when people noticed the guns. My eyes stayed on the barrel in front of my face while holding the gun up to hers.
" Kirisaki Chitoge " I choked.
Her long blonde hair blew in the breeze as she stood close to my body. Those bright merciless eyes held passion which I have never seen before; body fit for modeling and lips delicate like flowers.
" I-I can't kill you..." she slowly lowered her weapon with a blush on her cheeks.
She's the most beautiful women I have ever seen. More beautiful than roses or orchids, she is something unexplainable.
When she throws the gun to the ground and turned around, I followed her lead. " I can't kill you either " I whispered gently.
She seemed to hear me, usually such brilliant hearing is known from her blood-lines. " W-What-..." she stuttered nervously. " Why? "
I looked down to the cement shyly, never have I really spoken to a woman before like this. Nor, had these thoughts, and had to stop a mission. I never stop a mission.
Her shadow moved closer to mine while I stared down to the ground, silently trying to put my emotions together like a puzzle.
" You don't have to tell me... just don't expect this to happen everytime we try to kill each other" she trembled quickly.
Is she nervous?
I looked up from the ground and met her big blue eyes, flustered cheeks and breath-taking image. " I understand, Kirisaki ".
She nodded quickly before turning away, grabbing her gun and making her way into an alley.
I bit my lip roughly as I watched her vanish into the shadows. " Chitoge! Wait! " I called out without thinking.
Her movement stopped and she looked over her shoulder with a confused expression written on her face. " What bean-sprout?"
" I-I...", my embarrassment is stopping me.
" You, what?" she snarled.
" Will I... ever get to see you again ?" I managed to ask.
A smile came to her lips, taking my breath-away. " Meet me in the park tomorrow at noon. Leave the gun at home " she giggled before running down the alley, quickly vanishing from my view.
My heart raced as I looked down the alley in shock. But the butterflies in my stomach made me smile brightly before bending down, and grabbing the gun from the sidewalk.
I just got a date with Kirisaki Chitoge...
Snapping awake quickly from my dream, I sadly stared at the wall still. My stomach felt twisted and tingly when thinking about Chitoge.
We fell in love instantly, you could call it love at first sight.
Just her eyes... those bright blue eyes that flamed with her emotions. They took my breath away everytime I looked into them.
Then, there's her outrageous personality: so big and vibrate.
But... all of her is gone, just by one single bullet!
Anger race through my veins while throwing things around my cell. " Why her!?" I growled under my breath. " Chitoge of all people. Why not take me ?", these questions filled my mind daily. Why not me? Let me die and her live, this is tourment enough.
The rage subsided as a chair landed on the cold floor. I sat in the corner of the cell, eyes hidden and lips shaking in sorrow. Crying, its all I thought of doing, even if she would slap me for showing such a weak side of myself. I need release, closure maybe, something to make all these emotions vanish and the bloody dust settle in my life.
" Ichijo..." a familiar voice chanted in my ear. " Ichi...jo "
" Chitoge " I cried into my palms, gasping for air every five seconds. " I'm... sorry ".
Maybe, just maybe, I could have saved her. Everything about Chitoge wouldn't be just a memory, it would be reality still.
I waited, and waited in the park for the blonde beauty.
Hour after hour, the wind picked up the swing-set and made it squeak. It got creepy after a while but soon, I got used to the rusting metal going against the weather.
" Raku Ichijo!", I looked over my shoulder quickly when I heard her voice from the tree's.
My eyes landed on the blonde waving happily towards me, a smile bright on her lips and slight laugh gliding through the air.
" You came!", she nodded to my shout.
Walking over quickly I felt my heart speed up; am I nervous?
I can't be. This isn't a date... or is it?
" Of course! Why wouldn't I?", she called out with a smile.
I stopped in my track when I saw her smile; never have I seen such a bright smile. A chuckled bubbled from my lips when a blush painted her cheeks. I'm not the only nervous one here, thank god.
" Nervous or something, Kirisaki?"
She smirked before turning away from me to seem cool. " In your dreams, bean-sprout ".
" Bean-sprout? Where did that come from?" I asked.
" You look like a bean-sprout to me" she teased ever so harshly.
" Gorilla " I murmured under my breath.
When she didn't make a comment back I thought she hadn't heard me. But I was proven wrong when I turn to meet her evil glare. Shit!
" I'm not a gorilla!" she screamed before punching me.
The strength behind her fist shocked me, never have I been hit by a woman. Normally I would started fighting because of the abuse, but I didn't. It is fascinating that a woman of her size has such strength; she blew my mind, literally.
Gritting my teeth together made the pain in my heart slowly subside for the time being.
Whenever I think about her... this happens: I see everything that we did together, how she once was, what we were planning and where our relationship was going to become someday. I wanted to marry her; we both wanted to get married, it just became a waiting game for her.
I lifted my pillow slowly soaking in the red box hidden underneath.
Nobody knows I still have the ring; if anyone found out, they would probably try to sell it to get drugs or tell the guards for 'good-behaviour' points.
My lips quivered while staring at the box which held the ring.
" It belonged on her finger, not inside that stupid box ," I thought as tears developed in my eyes.
Using the sleeve of my jump-suit I wiped away my tears. " I can't do this anymore " I whispered in defeat of my emotions.
He sits in his cell,
And lays on his bed,
Covers his head and closes his eyes.
He sees the smoking gun,
And the coward he ran,
And in his arms is the bleeding,
love of his life.
I stood from the bed and leaned against the bunk. Eyes resting on the ceiling while the sound of a gun-shot echoed my mind.
The deathly odor of gun-powder and blood scented the cell in my imagination.
Looking down my heart sank, just as it had the true night of... Chitoge's death.
And she cried,
" Kiss it all better, I'm not ready to go,
It's not your fault , love,
you didn't know, you didn't know"
The night is warm, just like summer should be.
Crickets songs filled the darkness, while we walked down an alleyway towards the hotel. Both driven by passion and desire, we stumbled down the cold alley with our lips devouring each others.
For month's we had been sneaking around, unknown to both our families and gangs. If they were to find out about our love, it would be the end of us and the gang as we know it.
" Raku.." she moaned gently in my ear when our lips parted. "...We need to get to that hotel now", her voice is clouded with lust as I kissed down her neck.
I took her advice and grabbed her hand to lead her towards the hotel only a block from here.
The street is busy with passing cars, and sidewalk filled with people rushing home from work. The busy crowd engulfed us when we entered the sidewalk.
Street lights lite the way to the hotel in our frantic stroll.
" Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Ichijo " the front desk employee said as we entered the hotel from the revolving doors. " How was your night?" he continued to ask.
" Mrs. Ichijo, huh? I like that ", Chitoge whispered seductively in my ear. I shivered slightly as my hormones began to go crazy.
" Uh, it was good. Can I get the key, please?" I asked quickly, my breath hitched as her lips caressed my neck and lead down to my covered shoulders. " Chitoge... stop it for now" I pleaded.
She looked at me with her big blue eyes shining in the dim light, making her more attractive and beautiful, I just wanted to devour her. " Uh, did you find that key yet?" I urged with my teeth chewing on my lips, trying to suppress my groans.
"Hmmmm... Ah! There it is-", the man started as he held the key in the air.
I grabbed the key from his hold " Thanks!", I interrupted him as I lead Chitoge to the elevator doors which were letting people out.
" Oh! Have a good night, Sir!" I heard as the doors closed with only I and Chitoge inside.
I looked at my devilish girlfriend with hungry eyes " Finally ", I growled before pulling her forward and capturing her squealing lips.
Her hands are so cold,
And he kissed her face.
And says, " Everything will be all right ".
He noticed the gun,
and his rage grew inside.
He said, " I'll average my lover tonight".
The night's I spent with Chitoge are still vividly replaying in my mind. Over and over again, like a record that is on repeat.
Each thought of her made my heart ache a little bit more than before.
I sat up from the bed and looked over the room with my blood-shot orbs, everything seems dull.
Standing from the bed I walked over to the cell doors and, placed my head between the cold metal gaps. Looking out to the room below I could see the guards lined up, watching the inmates play basketball in the court area that would be turned into the cafeteria later.
I watched the orange ball while an inmate by the name of: Hurina Ren, bounced it at his side before passing it over to his team-mate.
We used to play basketball together, if you wanted to call it such, the groping and kissing that got involved took away the idea of us playing basketball. It was more like a reason to touch her in public.
My hands slightly itched for the touch of her curves, the slight hill from her waist and to her slim hips, those long legs that I used to climb during passion and breast that-... I need to stop thinking about all these things, if I keep this up something else will be awake and not my depression.
" You need to forget about her and move on...", I cringed at the nagging voice of Shu playing in my head. Everyday he would tell me the same thing, almost as though he knew what was best for me, that's impossible though, I don't even know what is best for me anymore.
Everyday, I would sit in my cell and think about Chitoge: her smile, body and the moments we had together. My days would only be revolving her life and my love for her. I don't want to forget about her, I can't and won't.
And she cried,
" Kiss it all better,
I'm not ready to go.
It's not your fault love,
you didn't know, you didn't know".
Each day that I live and know she isn't going to be here with me, causes her death to weigh heavier on me.
There is just so much I could have done to prevent her from dying, just so much. I blame myself every second for it, even though I wasn't the one who killed her, that scumbag of a human did, with just one bullet. One little silver shard.
Now he sits behind prison bars,
25 to life and she's not in his arms.
He couldn't bring her back with a bullet to the heart
In the back of a man that tore his world apart.
It was just like every other day we had: dinner, movie and then walking to the hotel for some sleep.
But tonight seemed different than the others.
" Hey, Raku " she called to me while holding onto my arm gently.
I glanced over to see her eyes on the ground, but the hint of red on her cheeks told me: she's embarrassed. " Yeah?"
Her lips were pressed firmly together while she thought of what to say. In my eyes she looked irresistible and wonderous.
" We've been together for awhile now, right?" she questioned as her grip tightened on my arm.
I looked to the stars thinking about the two years we've had together. " Yeah, almost two an half years now ", I answered with a smile. Around Chitoge I am always smiling.
She nodded gently before stopping in her tracks and releasing my arm. I turned to face her, and noticed her hands resting in front of her while her bangs covered her expression. Is there something wrong?
" You say: it's long enough to accept anything?"
" Where are you going with this?" I wondered, she was never like this before.
I saw her sigh in the cold winter breeze while she tightened her hold on herself. " Well...", she trailed off nervously. " Um..."
The first year of our relationship we had told our parents about us. They weren't too mad about it, but there was more hatred between the gangs still.
" Is there something wrong?", her hesitation made me worry.
She shook her head quickly " No, not at all ".
" Then, what is it you want to tell me?"
A long pause filled the air as she gathered her courage, with every moment that is passing I am getting increasingly more concerned for what she is going to say.
" Listen, Raku..." she started before meeting my gaze. " ...I-I'm..." she stuttered " I'm... pregnant", she finally spat.
My throat clogged with air as I watched her. I didn't know what to say, nor how to say anything about the matter. Never in a million year did I think this would happen, especially since I haven't asked her to marry me yet.
She grew impatient for my silence. " Raku... please, say something" she pleaded nearly in tears.
I grabbed her body quickly and pulled her in without thinking, capturing her lips I caressed her back and brushed away the hairs preventing me from seeing all of her beauty.
When I parted from the kiss, I looked deep into her eyes and whispered: " This is the best news I've ever heard ", a bright smile covered her rosie lips as she stared into my orbs.
" Really?" she questioned.
" Yes ", I chuckled before capturing her lips once again.
I couldn't be more happier, just thinking that the woman I love is carrying my first child is thrilling, and over exhilarating. I'm on cloud nine, even ten if that exists.
" How far along are you?" I had to asked.
She grinned gently as her hands wandered my hair. " About two months now ".
" Two months... does anyone know besides you and I?", just thinking that Claude may knew gave me the chills. He would kill me without thinking.
Her giggle subsided my worried, " Just my dad. He's the one that pointed it out to me, and got me the pregnancy test's ". A huge wave of relief washed over my shoulders.
The happiness that I had, was soon going to become a nightmare of a night, just within a matter of time.
He holds on to her memory,
All it is, is a memory.
Hey, hey.
Walking hand and hand, we headed towards the hotel through the alley-way.
I looked forward to the sidewalk that was usually busy and noticed the solemn lights. There is none walking?
Not taking the quietness to heart, we headed onto the sidewalk, that's when I heard the footsteps following us.
My eyes went to Chitoge, who is humming softly while holding my hand, and then I looked at her stomach. If this is a person who is going to threaten us, they would take two things from me, not just one.
I looked over my shoulder and saw nobody.
Perhaps, its my imagination? But, the footsteps got louder and faster.
Before I knew it, the sound of a gun is heard from the shadow.
Quickly I grabbed Chitoge and pulled her into my chest, trying to prevent any bullets from hitting her... but, it's too late.
Her breath is rigid as she coughs for air, hands grasping her chest. "... I..." she choked before her body grew limp. I held her up in my arms and slowly brought her to the ground.
In a panic I whipped out my phone and called for an ambulance " Chitoge... please, stay with me! " I cried as I touched her slowly chilling cheeks. " Come on, fight for us... for the baby", I tried.
Her eyes looked into mine and then to the shadows where a shaking person stood with a gun in hand. " I... I'm not... ready to go... R-Raku " she coughed on her blood as her breath quickened.
" Yes! Yes! I need an ambulance! My girlfriends been shot!" I cried into the phone frantically. Placing a hand on the bleed wound near her breast I pressed my forehead against hers, allowing her rapid breath to touch my skin. " Please stay with me ", I whispered through my tears. " I can't live without you".
The cherry-red blood covered my hand as she shook. I know she isn't going to make it, deep down I know she isn't going to.
"... Stay with me... before-" she tried.
" D-Don't say that! You're going to live! You are going to live and have this baby, we are going to become a family and live together forever!" I exclaimed. The apartments around us lite with life and people rushed to their window's to see what all the yelling was about. One of the staff members from the hotel had heard and looked out to see us. " Don't lose hope!" I screamed into her chest. " Please!".
"... I'm so... cold...Raku" she gasped.
I quickly took off my jacket and pressed it against the wound to attempt to stop the bleeding, but there isn't any use. "... I...".
" Shhh... don't speak, just focus on me and on staying alive ", I told her while tears stained my cheeks.
" I-I'm sorry!" I heard from the shadows along with an object hitting the ground, and someone running away.
I looked over and watched as the man ran like a coward, the gun resting on the cement steaming from the bullet caused red to cover my eyes.
My anger wanted me to run and kill the bastard, but the tight grip of her hand kept me in place. I cradled Chitoge in my arms and tried to give her my body-heat, the employee from the hotel had rushed to our aid and was talking to the operator in a frantic state.
I buried my head into her hair and listened to her slowly fading breaths. " I promise to marry you, to be the best dad I can, give you everything you want... even if I know I can't. Just... stay with me..." I pleaded over and over.
She grinned weakly as she looked up with her dulling eyes " ...I've been... dreaming about that... since I first laid eyes on you...", her words are broken by her frantic gasping and coughing.
Blood soaked her lips as she coughed. " Just hang in there ", I whispered before kissing her forehead tenderly.
As the ambulance lights and siren came rushing down the hill, I felt her stop breathing and skin become ice. " I... love you ", she told me before she died.
He cries,
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
stay with me.
They load Chitoge into the ambulance on a bed, working on her quickly and keeping her heart beeping.
She's dead. I know she is.
The fact lingering in my mind and the ambulance quickly driving away, not turning to see if I wanted to ride with her, I looked over to the gun and raced towards it.
My hand fit perfectly in the weapon before I dashed the exact way the coward had ran before.
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
stay with me.
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
stay with me.
My child would have been two by now. I will never be a father, there is no hope since I'm in prison, not that I want anyone else but her to bare my a child.
I would have married Chitoge not long after I found out about the pregnancy, I was planning on it long before that, it was only a matter of waiting and timing.
But... that bastard took all that away.
My child.
Chigote.
A chance for a good future with both of them.
That's probably the reason I enjoyed killing him so much; having his blood on my hands while watching the life drain from his eyes. Smoking gun lingering in the breeze of the alley far from the hotel, and the sidewalk where Chitoge bleed to death.
All I can remember from killing him was the large smile on my lips while I repeatedly punched him, and then the anger that covered my spirits as I looked into his weak eyes. The way he looked at me during the night was exact to Chitoge's eyes as her blood drained from her body, and her bright eyes went dull.
I gripped the prison bars tightly and gritted my teeth together as I thought of the judge telling me my sentence.
They blamed me for all three deaths.
Claimed I killed Chitoge first because I didn't want the child, and she wouldn't give it up. Then, they claimed that the man I had hunted and kill had witnessed my first murder and went to get the police.
It's all bullshit! I never killed Chitoge... never would that cross my mind, even when we first met, I was going to but I never did. How could I? I loved her, more than anything on this planet.
But yet, they sat there saying I killed her and that everything was on me.
My own lawyer didn't know where their facts were coming from, he didn't know what to tell them because it was all false.
If anything I could only be in prison for ten-years the minimum, even less since I was eighteen.
Either way, even if they open-up my case again and read my file, I'll still be in this shit-hole for a few more years. I will regret Chitoge's death that I watched, and think of all the possibilities of being a father.
I paced my cell with my hands on my head, looking to the ceiling trying to think of a way to have Chitoge back. I wanted her back so badly.
Suicide seemed the easiest, I would strangle myself with some bedding and hang from the window bars.
Just then I heard the guards come towards my cell.
Is Shu done in the courtyard already?.
" Ichijo Raku ", one of the guard said as they fiddled with the lock.
I looked over quickly to see the two men, but Shu wasn't there. " Hai?"
" You have a visitor in the meeting room ", they told me as they entered the room. I looked at them oddly.
Nobody ever wants to talk to me in the meeting room, only my dad and occasionally Chitoge's dad, when they came to see me. But thats only on my birthday or holiday's.
Kiss it all better.
I'm not ready to go.
It's not you fault love,
you didn't know, you didn't know.
They guided me down the cell-block causing several inmates to howls and grab towards me, but the guards prevented them from touching me.
Many of them were yelling: " Ooooh the quiet one is up! Goodie!", and then laughing like it's a giant joke.
I'm only quiet because there isn't anything for me to say to these people; I don't belong here really. If anything, I shouldn't be in here for this.
" You're little girlfriend coming to see you?" one of the males laughed.
I stopped in my tracks and turned to the man in the cell with his blade head shining from the lights, tattoo's boldy inked and a toothpick between his teeth.
He chuckled softly with his arm between two bars, and leaned his head into a gap. " Come on pretty boy, your little gir-"
" My girlfriend is dead ", I interrupted him. " She was shot, is that what you wanted to hear scumbag? Wanted to know why the fuck I'm here!"
" He has a voice boys!" he announced. " Come on! Tell us! What did you do Raku?" he chuckled.
I smirked wildly as the murder replayed in my eyes. " I shot, slaughtered and watched my girlfriends murderer die ", I softly answered.
" Why so angry ?", he smiled for the news.
The guards grabbed my arms and began to drag me away from the cell, preventing me from answering the convict.
Roughly they walked me down the hall and towards the stairs that lead to the second floor: there are men who are mentally unstable, known as the worse of society and incurable.
(Kiss it all better)
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
As we got closer to the visitors area I thought about all the people who come and visit me.
The only regulars that I have is Onodera, but she always speaks to me through the phones. She told me time and time again, that she was afraid of the other inmates that are in the rooms sometimes.
I know her from High school, there was a point in time back then that I had a huge crush on her. But then I met Chitoge and everything changed, I barely spoke to Onodera.
But when I was placed in here she came to visit me every week.
At first I thought it was because she had a thing for me, I still think that sometimes, but then I remembered she is a friend of mine and Chitoge. She was her best friend actually, she probably came to see me because she was fulfilling her friends wishes.
(Kiss it all better)
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
I'm lead into a shady hallway that was lit with lights.
The private meeting rooms are alone available to the rich, because they pay to spend time with the inmate. There are rumors that they can control how many guards are present during this time, but I doubt that's true.
We stopped in front of a white door with a tinted window. The guards stopped and began to unlock the door with a large ring of keys.
I looked at them with a puzzled look " Can you tell me who's in there?"
The man chuckled as he looked at the keys closely " Nope ".
" How about their gender?"
He shook his head before putting the key into the door and unlocking the knob. " You'll just have to find out Raku", he smiled as he turned the knob.
I watched the door open slowly, my heart began to race as I eagerly waited to see my visitor.
(Kiss it all better)
Stay with me until I fall asleep,
Stay with me.
When the door opened and revealed the person waiting inside I froze in my spot.
Tears rushing down my cheeks as I stared at the person.
" Raku..."