TITLE : MY HUSBAND IS A LIAR
GENRE : HUMOR/ROMANCE AND EPIC MAYBE
PAIRING : OKITA X KAGURA
DISCLAIMER : I NEVER OWN GINTAMA :"
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Have fun reading this one, another Sougo and Kagura pairing...

It's usual for the Yoruzuya to sleep, watch T.V. program, eat, sleep and watch T.V.- HEY! Did I say it twice? Oh well, that's not the point after all. While "Gin" (The main character of this 'WHAT THE HECK' thingy anime) and "Shinpachi" (Gin's apprentice) are watching T.V. and waiting for some clients to come, "Kagura" (The only girl in Yoruzuya Team; Strongest on their popular clan that is known as 'YATO CLAN') went outside to walk "Sadaharu" (Yoruzuya's life-sized pet dog or should I say *BIGGER* than life-sized).
While walking the dog, Kagura -suddenly- (I think I should remove the word "suddenly" because it USUALLY happens) bumped at the blonde government pet or also known as the "Shinsengumi" 3RD division captain-"Okita Sougo" (A baby-face sadist that always loves to ruin Kagura's day and plans to kill his vice-commander *accidentally*)

Oh well, Let's skip the recaps and conversations to make it easier. Okita and Kagura (okikagu) are known to be oil and water. They don't accept the fact that they are the couple in this 'what the!' thingy anime. Fight here, fight there, fight everywhere; one will fire her gun from a weird umbrella and one will wave his katana. I mean, what's the big deal with this it's usual! So let's move on to the next part.

As usual, after bumping at each other, the two started a verbal fight. Okita as always, won the fight that caused violent reactions that cause the whole anime set to beWRECKED. Everything was destroyed, messed up and wasted then Kagura suddenly fell from one shot, head first and fell asleep because of shock. Okita, though he was responsible for it, sure that he likes Kagura and his job is to annoy her only and not to hurt her badly. He ran to Kagura with a worried face (but not that exaggerated). "Hey. Still alive?" Okita said with a deadpan voice. Kagura then after a minute opened her blue eyes and doesn't seem to remember anything. Oh, did I say - DOESN'T? - I mean she remembered the names but not the relation between them. A partial amnesia I guess. Then she began to ask a 'WHATTA!' kind of question. "Are you...My Husband?" YAY! Kagura asked. Because of that question, Okita's face turned red and feels like something from the back of his neck is slowing down to his spine or maybe he felt like his heart is falling to his ass, but his mind suddenly changed into -sadist mode- and smile with an innocent face and said that he's Kagura's husband and let Sadaharu go back to Yoruzuya for the information.

TO: DANNA & MEGANE

There are only three things I want to say...

1. CHINA GIRL IS WITH ME.
2. SHE'S STAYING AT OUR PLACE FOR WEEKS.
3. IF YOU WANNA ASK WHY, DON'T YOU DARE.

-OKITA SOUGO A.K.A. PRINCE OF SADIST-

P.S.
 Don't Worry, I'll feed her and I'll return her as soon as she's alright (don't dare to ask why or I'll become a sadist prince). I'll just borrow her for a while. And like I said ... (Don't you dare to ask why!).

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT!" Gin and Shinpachi shouted. Because of shock, Gin didn't notice that he already crushed the paper into several tiny pieces. Meanwhile in Shinsengumi HQ, everyone greeted Okita but no one tried to interfere and ask why Kagura is with him because of being afraid to be sliced and shredded until Kondo-San arrived. "Aah, Sougo-Sougo, what's with that Otae my love's mob apprentice?" Kondo said. "Otae-San is not yours anyway and Sadist's love life is none of your business for your information." Hijikata babbled while lightening his cigarette with his trademark (I guess) mayo-lighter. Kondo knocked the top of Hijikata's head and repeated his question while smiling. "I accidentally got married with this baby girl." Sougo replied with a deadpan voice and without emotional thoughts. "WHAAAAAAAAAAT!" All the Shinsengumi members shouted, because of shock, Kondo didn't notice that he already crushed a paper into pieces. "Hey, Kondo-San, where did you get that thing?" Hijikata asked. "Oh... This? I found it on the top of my table-...uh?" all stopped. "HEEEEEY! THIS IS THE CASE ABOUT THE JOUI...!" suddenly the document for their current case was gone. Oh poor life; miserable life caused by ignorance caused by carelessness caused by uh..? Shock? That's what the slogan -SHOCK ATTACK- means ... Hehe,

LESSON OF THE DAY:

"DON'T DRINK COFFEE TO AVOID NERVOUSNESS"

SHOCK -CARELESSNESS-STUPIDITY- EMBARRASSMENT
 (note: this is just an illustration _O)

 In Sougo's room, He wasted his time looking at his sleeping errm 'wife'; "Hey, Mandarin, if you were to marry someone, make sure he-...uhm, - looks like me." Then kissed her on her nose to her cheeks down to her lips. He felt some strangles. He can't get away. The soft turned to a hard, passionate one. He just found himself being wrapped with the arms of his errm, 'wife'. After they were done both panting for air, "Why did you lie?" Kagura asked. "Do you remember anything?" Okita replied with question. "No, not yet but I heard what you'd said before." Kagura replied. "So you weren't asleep?" He asked. "Answer mine first." She replied. For the first time, the Sadist lost to a China mob in a verbal fight so he just kissed his errm, 'wife' to change the topic and lay her down - ready to errm, you know what I mean, the thing that newlyweds do as husband and errm, 'wife' but accidentally, the pillow slipped when she was about to lay down. She bumped her head on the floor. Her head was safe but the floor was in its critical condition, deeply wounded and needs a total repair. Then, her memory came back. "HEY! WHAT AM I DOING IN THIS PLACE? I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WALKING WITH SADAHARU." She said in a shocked voice. Sougo can't look on her eyes directly and scared to admit his lies... For the first time so he pretended that he just don't waste time looking on his messed up floor. But because of that, he looked so cute being tensed and that made Kagura blushed because of his cuteness and a little sweat dropped from his face. Kagura didn't control herself and touched his face. Then Okita's eyes were widened. He kissed Kagura with his soft lips and he doesn't know what he's doing. Then hugged her with his delicate arms. Kagura was stunned. Because it was her first kiss (she thought. But it doesn't matter, his first and second was him after all though she can't seem to remember the first one because of head bump). She was stunned. "I'll take you home my wife-in-training." Sougo said smiling then immediately walked leaving the room. When he's gone outside, Kagura traced her lips and smiled. "Yeah, I love you asshole, bastard husband." Then she went outside and they went home.

-END-
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OMAKE:

At their office...

"YEAH! DON'T TELL BALDY OR WE'RE FINISHED!" Gin said
"YEAH! KAGURA MUST BE HERE AFTER A WEEK SO NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!" Shinpachi continued
"IT'S ALRIGHT AS LONG AS SHE'S WITH THAT SHINSENGUMI GUY." They both continued

-stop...imagine the silence-

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT!" Gin Shouted didn't notice that he crushed a paper into pieces... "SHE'S WITH A SADIST!"
"Ne, Gin-San, Where did you get that thing?" Shinpachi asked.
"Aah? This, The director gave me this thing for some elaboration to this anime." Gin continued.
"I'm here, Gin-Chan, Shinpachi-Kun." Kagura greeted.
"Hey, uh? I thought you're there. Come back again another day we're busy arguing here right now." Gin said.
"Why?" Kagura asked.
"Because of you" They both replied... "Uh? She's already here! NO MORE PROBLEMS!"
Then they hugged Kagura and smelled some aroma of a guy scent.
"Hey, are you using a men perfume?" Shinpachi asked Kagura
"And your breath smells nice too, strange from what toothpaste you're using" Gin continued.
"Aah, It's because that guy hugged and kissed me so maybe his aroma stuck with me." Kagura answered.
"Aah, okay.." Pause for a minute; prepare your ears for this one...
"!"

And that's the story of crushed papers. :]

YES! Love some reviews Domo Tomodachi ^^