The Dancing Pants - Mei-chan's Brainchild... Rizu-chan's attempt to stop dying from laughter.
Koumyou was bored. He was being forced to stay in one of the rooms that the Sanzo-ikkou was renting because Meagan decided that he was being annoying. He wasn't annoying! He was a very good person…
Wasn't he?
Back to what he was doing before…
Absolutely nothing.
Yep, he was bored.
Glancing about, his eyes immediately lighted upon a great diversion. A pair of pants… He didn't know whom they belonged to or why they were there. They probably belonged to whoever was going to sleep in this room…
But… He was bored.
Time to try them on.
--
Meagan was sitting in the common room of the inn with the others when she remembered she had left her book upstairs on the bed in her room.
"I'll be right back," she said to Goku, who happened to be sitting right next to her. She stood and walked up the stairs. As she walked to her room, she didn't pay attention to the weird noises coming from behind the door, assuming it was just Koumyou.
Naturally…
She was right.
Meagan opened the door to one of the most horrifying sights she had ever beheld in her entire life. She could deal with ghosts with the back of their skulls blown out. She could deal with ghosts hacked to near pieces. Heck, she could deal with Koumyou, and that was saying something.
But not Koumyou dressed in nothing but her pants.
"…" She could do nothing but stare for a long while for she was stunned into insensibility.
"Ah, Meagan-san," Koumyou said, turning to look at her. "Like my new pants?" He wiggled his hips a little.
Meagan lost it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"
--
"Does it really take that long to do whatever?" Goku muttered just as…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"
A thunder of footsteps came echoing from the floor above. "Get away get away get away!"
There was a momentary pause before the feet came straight down the steps. It was Meagan and she looked freaked.
"Mei-nee-chan?" called Goku as the others called their own nicknames.
"Hide meeeeeee!" wailed the Miko as she jumped behind Sanzo. The other occupants of the tavern watched for a moment before their attention became riveted on something very strange.
There was a pair of pants floating in mid-air as if someone invisible was wearing them.
"Oh… my… god," Elizabeth said slowly as she too paled… before a slightly hysterical giggle slipped from between her lips. "He he he?"
"Make him take them off," bemoaned Meagan, still hiding behind Sanzo. The pants moved slightly and the button came undone…
"NO!" Elizabeth shouted then, also running for protection. She chose the closest person… Gojyo. "Don't take them off!"
"Yeah…" whimpered Meagan. "Go upstairs and do that!"
…
"You're wearing my what!" Meagan screamed in shock. "Oh, hell no! Get your ass over here, you worthless piece of ectoplasmic shit! I am so exorcising your ass!" Meagan ran after the pants which had wheeled around and went back up the stairs.
"Exercising whose ass?" Goku asked.
"…Koumyou is wearing Meagan's pants," Elizabeth said faintly. "…And something else, I think… I hope…"
"Get back here! You're goin' to hell, you sick fucker! I'm gonna have to burn those pants and that thong now!"
"Oh, dear god," Hakkai said, staring upwards and the rest of the ikkou went death pale… and then slightly green.
"The mental imagery… oh the pain…" Elizabeth said woefully, tears forming in her eyes.
"GAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Ghost crusties! You can keep them! You can keep them, you sicko! And put them back on! That's more than I ever wanted to see!"
Meagan ran back down the stairs, screaming her head off. "He's sick! He's sick! I've been flaaaashed…" she cried out as she grabbed onto Sanzo. "You're master's a grody old man! I never want ta see him ag'n! I wanna refund! The sicko is walkin' around nekkid!"
"…" Sanzo just stood there, unable to move for two very good reasons. One was that if he moved, Meagan would probably be unable to support herself. Two was that he couldn't think beyond 'I used to look up to him!'
"Grody grody grody… Sick! I'm gonna be siiiiick!" Meagan bawled. "I'm mentally scared forever and ever and ever and ever and ever! I won't be able to look at another nekkid man again…!"
"…What?" he deadpanned, wondering if that included him.
"…'Cept you of course… You're hot… Koumyou's not!"
"Calm down. You're talking with that weird accent again and it's difficult to understand you," Sanzo said in a hopefully soothing manner.
"I believe it is called a 'Texan accent', Sanzo," informed Hakkai.
"Yeah. I'ma Texin…" said the sniffling Meagan. Her face was still buried in Sanzo's stomach.
"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Sanzo asked, trying to get the Miko off of him.
"Yeah?"
"Now?" persisted Sanzo.
"Um… no."
"Anything else?"
"…No… Unless you can exorcise grody old men ghosts that happen to resemble Koumyou Sanzo walkin' around nekkid in our bedroom?" Meagan said that last bit rather hopefully.
"What?" Gojyo said, not being able to get through that rather confusing question.
"Ah… Sanzo?" Goku called. Everyone turned to look, including all the tavern patrons…
And the tavern patrons decided to immediately take their business elsewhere.
Koumyou Sanzo had apparently gotten bored with the pants… and the (heaven forbid) thong… and had taken Genjo Sanzo's spare uniform and had pulled it on… crown included.
"Oh… my… god…" Elizabeth said, staring at the spectacle. It was very weird to look at Koumyou the see-through ghost in very solid clothing. Of course, for all others that had no idea what was going on other than there were floating clothes… It looked like there was a bunch of floating clothes suspended in midair.
"You picked up the wrong damn clothes, you fucking moron!" screamed Meagan. "And that crown isn't yours anymore! You gave it to Sanzo, Koumyou-hime! …I take it back… You don't look like a princess, you fucking poof. Stop prancing around, dammit."
"Okay… why in the fuck do you smell like pot…? And get outta my face, you pervy old man! You promised you wouldn't hit on me!"
…
"Eeeewwww! That's disgusting! Get away from me! I'm calling Kannon down on you!"
…
"What do you mean, I can't call Boytits?"
…
"I fucking hate you… Just for that… Okay, my thoughts are far from PG-13 right now. Get back into your ghost clothes, you idiot!"
The clothes suddenly dropped to the ground and the crown hit the floor with a resounding clatter for Koumyou just disappeared.
"Oh, yeah… Go, Kannon!" cheered Meagan. "I knew I liked Boytits for a reason!"
…
"Holy muther fuckin hell! Send him back! Send him back!"
END
Notes:
Mei-chan: How in the hell did we come up with this!
Rizu-chan: I dunno. Didn't it start out with someone talking about someone being in someone's pants?
Mei-chan: Um… maybe? That was confusing as hell… and highly improbable. Take it from a medium. That is soo not likely to happen. A.) Koumyou isn't tied to my pants… disgusting as that may be. B.) The only kind of spirit that can actually lift something is if they are related by blood or they are malevolent. Kimi likes to wake me up in the morning by lifting my leg and dropping it… or my head, but more than likely it'll be the leg. She's also hit me over the head with a pillow… but she hasn't done it since (thankfully).
Rizu-chan: Oh, so that's why you were kicking your bed this morning?
Mei-chan: I wasn't kicking my bed. My legs were being dropped… And for those who think I'm crazy… FUCK YOU!