I Still Can't Quit You
A short Ennis/Jack drabble that i wrote after watching the movie, it took my breath away.
I'd give it to her, quick, hot and fast, just like i did with him.
I would imagine with every being of my fiber that it was him making those noises, that it was him begging for more.
I never realised how much that summer would cost me, how much of my life would be spent waiting for another postcard, for another acknowledgement of how in love i was.
I'm glad he made that move, i'm glad i gave in, im glad that he was mine, i'm glad that he is mine.
During those brief meetings i would be in heaven, my world would collapse into bliss and i would be helpless against the feelings that crashed over me.
His caresses would ease my mind. I would live for the time spent with him, for brokeback.
The more time spent with him, the less time spent with her, pretending, it became more real, it became my happiness.
I wanted to grow old with him but i was to stupid to realise it, until it was to late, until that horrible stamp read DECEASED. All i have now is the shirts, mine and his, he kept them, and the postcard.
But what i treasure most is my memories, and the feeling i used to get when i was with him, when i was with the love of my life. To be honest, i miss him and it hurts, but i love him and that hurts more.
All i can do is remember, his smile, his smell, his laugh and his sweet sweet touches.
My Jack is gone, but my love is not.
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