Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, I own nothing. Absolutely nothing. D: But if you know of a way that I can own Ed Westwick, feel free to let me know! I'll love you forever! :D

Okay so. This is like my first oneshot that I've actually posted… yay! Annd I'm dedicating it to my one and only Aileen, cause she's amazingful and kind and she inspired me to finish it and made my night tonight and I love her mucho! And then there's the fact that ever since we first spoke she's become an amazing friend to me and she means a lot. But this is the surprise missy! I dedicate this story, my tiredness, and everything to you haha! And you're also my favorite Chair fan! But hopefully you all like this and you R/R! Okay I shush now and go to bed because it's 6am and despite my insomniatic ways, I sleepy! xD

BC

She kept a smile implanted on her face. A forced one, a fake one, but a smile nonetheless. She only let it drop when she was in the privacy of the limo, on her way to the Waldorf penthouse. But the moment the car stopped and the door was opened for her, the smile was back on. She smiled the entire time, even pausing to say "hi" to Dorota, in an attempt to make it seem like everything was alright. But the moment she was in the privacy of her bedroom, the smile dropped and so did the tears as she collapsed against the door, leaning there as the tears rolled down her face, smudging makeup as she fumbled to lock her door.

She kicked off her heels and yanked off her gloves, before pulling her hair out of the bun it was in, chestnut hair falling like a wavy blanket once finally released. She let the tears silently fall as she walked towards her bathroom, unzipping her dress in the process, stepping out of it as it fell to the ground. The water began running, steam from the heat coming up almost instantly. It was then that she went over towards the sink, looking at her own appearance as she yanked off any jewelry. This cotillion, the most important event of her life (so far)- ruined. And by who? None other than the man she gave her virginity to, the one that she'd slept with on her birthday- Chuck fucking Bass.

God she loathed him right then with every fiber in her being. How could he do this to her? How could he actually go as far as to ruin her cotillion? Blair knew Chuck was conniving and devious, but this? This was low. And for what reason? Why had he done it? Because he had butterflies? LIE. If he actually had butterflies, there was no way he would have gone out of his way to hurt her that night. How had she even allowed herself to consider being with him? Chuck Bass? He had no soul, no heart. He was cruel, womanizing jackass. There was no way she could ever be with him. EVER.

So why was she crying not over the fact that it was ruined, but over the fact that it was Chuck that ruined it.

Wiping off her makeup as the bathtub filled, Blair realized she would not have been that distraught if it was Nate, or even Serena. But Chuck? That felt like a stab to the heart right there, one she could have definitely gone without. It was in that exact moment she realized he never cared about her… and could she really blame him? Makeupless and clad in only a pair of lace panties and a bra she stared at her reflection if the mirror, before lifting a hand to pinch at the imaginary fat she saw on her stomach. She was huge in her eyes, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not good enough for him or anyone… Nate made that obvious to her.

Turning off the water, she peeled off the lingerie and slid down into the bathtub, hot water first burning and then soothing her, soft chills going up and down her spine as she sank in, doe eyes closing. Almost instantly, she began having a flashback, as she continued to sink into the tub, unconsciously taking in and holding her breath as her hand sank under the water, flashback going off in her head.

CB

4-year old Blair walked boldly into the preschool, eyes landing on a dark-haired boy playing over by the blocks. Immediately she walked over and smiled politely. "Hi!" she said, looking down at him as he lifted his head up at her. "My name's Blair Waldorf." Even at the tender age of four, Blair knew her manners and was one of the most politest girls anyone would ever meet. "I'm Charles Bass," the dark-haired boy said, extending his hand to her while containing the frown that threatened to show on his face. Even at his young age, he hated his name with a fiery burning passion. She wrinkled her nose, shaking his hand. "I don't like that name." Charles arched a brow, watching Blair. Then considering it for all of ten seconds, her eyes lit up and she smiled. "I got it! I'm going to call you Chuck from now on. I like it better than Charles, and it fits you better!" Charles looked up at her, and smiled. "Fine. You can call me Chuck." She beamed, and Chuck realized that very day that he never wanted her smile to go away, and he also noticed he felt something flying around in his stomach… it was the first time he'd ever felt something like that, but he didn't mind, since the girl above standing above him caused it. Looking back, Blair noticed everyone leaving to go outside. "Come on, Chuckie! Everyone's going outside to play!" she said, giving him her hand so he could stand up. Taking her hand, he frowned. "I said you could call me Chuck, not Chuckie!" he protested, before a small grin came to his face, which only made Blair smile once again. "Well you have to have a nickname for that too!" she said, as if it were pure logic. And with that said, she walked outside, Chuck following her.

One Year Later

Blair sat barely moving on the swings, a frown upon her face, alone. Chuck had been put in time-out, but he'd watched Blair, confused as to why she was sad and alone. He snuck out of time-out, and walked over to Blair. "Why are you frowning? And alone?" he asked, sitting in the swing next to her. "Nate doesn't like me. He wants to play on the monkey bars with Serena instead of pushing me like he said he would!" Blair said, tears pooling in her eyes. Chuck looked over towards the monkey bars, where sure enough, Nate and Serena were playing. "Well, why didn't you go play with them?" he asked, looking back over. "Because! Monkey bars make you sweaty and gross and would ruin my pretty dress and make me look bad! Look at Serena! She's on the monkey bars and her dress has dirt on it now! But Nate's still playing with her and she still looks pretty!" she said, finally looking up to the swing, only to notice it was empty again. A tear slid until she found herself moving, a gasp coming forth before she realized that it was Chuck pushing her on the swings. She smiled as she came back down. "If Nate wants to play on the monkey bars with Serena instead of swinging with you, and he's dumb. I'll play with you Blair." They continued like that until the teacher called Chuck's name for sneaking from time-out. When the day was over, Blair found Chuck and walked up to him. "I'm sorry I got you in trouble, Chuck," Blair said softly. Chuck looked over at her and smiled. "Don't worry about it, it was worth it 'cause I got you to smile and not be mad over Nate and Serena."

Nine Years Later

Blair was breaking inside, as her mother criticized and pointed out every flaw of her daughter that she didn't like. The tears that pooled in the corner of Blair's eyes went unnoticed by Eleanor Waldorf as she commented on how her daughter should try dieting, due to her thighs –which to anyone else would look absolutely healthy for a 14-year old girl- and things just went downhill from there. Before Blair knew it, her mother was kissing her on both cheeks, before whisking out the door to go on some business trip. Right then and there Blair knew that besides the maids, she had the house to herself, and almost instantly she flew up the stairs. Tears began streaming as she sat on her bed in a fit of tears, looking down at her phone. Could she call Nate to come comfort her? No, he was off somewhere spending time with Serena. God she hated how perfect Serena was, how beautiful she looked, how no matter what, Serena was fucking gorgeous, and nobody could keep their eyes off of her, especially Nate. Standing up, she dropped the phone, fleeing for the porcelain bowl, and before she knew it her finger was down her throat and she was ridding her stomach of everything she'd consumed that day, not stopping when the small spots clouded her vision or when the lightheadedness took over. She finally stopped when she knew there was absolutely nothing else she could get rid of. Weakly standing up, she flushed, wiped her heads, brushed her teeth, used mouthwash and cleaned her face, before entering her room. And there, sitting on her bed with a dead serious look on his face was Chuck Bass. "Leave me alone," she said softly, ready to just collapse on her bed. But Chuck was stubborn as hell. "Waldorf, what the hell. Why the hell would you even do something like that?" he asked, not moving. "Did you not hear me the first time? GET OUT!" she screeched. "No. Not until you tell me what happened, Blair." Chuck was genuinely worried, and before he knew it, Blair had begun crying, tears running down her face. Chuck took her by the wrist and pulled her over to bed, sitting her down beside him as she began explaining everything. "How long?" he asked her softly once she finished. "About two months now. Nobody knows Chuck, and nobody suspects a thing so please, don't say anything." Chuck frowned. "Blair. This could kill you… damnit Blair. It's got to stop before it gets worse… before…" Chuck trailed off, unable to finish his sentence, leaning back on her bed. Blair crawled up beside him, and let her head rest on his chest, inhailing the scent of scotch and something unrecognizable but completely Chuck. "I can't promise it will, but I can promise I'll try… Chuckie," she whispered, before lulling off to sleep.

One Year Later

"He broke up with me," 15-year old Blair whispered into her phone. It was 2am, she didn't know what on Earth possessed her to call Chuck, but she was crying and she couldn't sleep. Chuck on the other hand, was asleep for once. "I'm sending a car for you." was all he said before hanging up the phone and calling down to send a car. Twenty minutes later, Chuck was up, dressed, and had made a drink for both of them. The soft knock on his door alerted him that she was there. Immediately, he opened the door to a teary eyed Blair. "Chuck…" she began, voice breaking. "I kn0w," he said softly, before pulling her inside and towards the bar. Blair had always been one to go to Serena about most things, but she never found the same comfort she did when going to Chuck. "It hurts," she whispered, taking a sip of her drink. "He doesn't realize how good he had it. You deserve better Blair. Someone who can give you the love, and treat you with the respect you deserve. Someone who won't take you for granted." Chuck knocked back the rest of his drink, before looking over at Blair, who had the smallest of smiles on her face through the tears. Red, puffy eyes, mascara streaked face and hair piled in the messiest of buns, she still looked like the most beautiful woman to walk the face of the Earth to Chuck. "Thanks," she said softly. "I just… God, I wish it didn't hurt this much," she whispered. "Why did you two even end it?" he asked. "Because," she paused, knocking back the rest of her second drink. "he was high and wanted to have sex and I stopped him because I didn't want to and he got mad and said something about how come I couldn't be more like Serena, who slept with guys before." Chuck refilled her glass. "Nathaniel… is dumb when he's high, to say the least." That actually made Blair laugh, a genuine laugh, not one that was forced or faked, which got Chuck to actually smile. He only smiled around her. Chuck refused to let her go back home that night, so he let her sleep in his bed, while he crashed on the couch. The next day, Nate and Blair got back together and Chuck drowned his anger and sorrows out in scotch and a blonde bimbo that night.

Two Years Later

Where's Nate?
I think we just broke up.
What?
I don't want to talk about it, I just want to escape. That's what this place is for, right?

You know, I got moves.
Really? Then why don't you get up there?
I'm just saying I have the moves.
Come on, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls.

Thanks for the lift home.
You were… amazing, up there.

Do you… "like" me?
…Define like.

How do you think I feel? I can't sleep, I feel sick… like there's something in my stomach… fluttering.
…Butterflies?

Something this beautiful deserves to be seen on something worthy of its beauty… I really am sorry.

Is that what I am to you? Just an accessory?
Next to him, yes… One me you'd be so much more.
Yes but I can't be on you remember? Cause you don't want Nate to find out, and I don't want anyone too.

Have you seen Nate?
Nate was asked to leave, but here I am.
…I know that look. That's the look when your plan falls into place. You're enjoying this. You knew Carter was going to my house. You tipped off Gossip Girl. You ruined my cotillion on purpose. You did all this for your own enjoyment and didn't care what it would do to me. Which is exactly why you and I can never work.
Slow down there, Waldorf.
You make me sick. This thing between us? It's over… for GOOD.
What? Wait… I didn't mean to…
Don't talk to me!
Blair!

Now, as she lay with her head underwater in the tub, his voice sounded so close again, calling after her… so close…

CB

He'd never intended to hurt her… he'd never expected for his plan to backfire like this. To the point where she loathed him. This was all an attempt to make her realize he loved her… and yet now he was sure he'd lost her for good. That's why after asking around and being informed she had left, Chuck quickly departed as well, going out to his limo. "The Waldorf Penthouse. And fast." He knew he had to at least try to apologize to Blair… oh shit.

Chuck suddenly realized what could happen. This was Blair Waldorf, and he knew she'd never fully overcame her eating disorder. Knowing that he could have possibly driven her over the edge and into the porcelain bowl cause him to drop his head into his hands in shame.

"Blair… please don't have done something like that."

By the time he got to the Waldorf Penthouse he was going insane in his mind, every negative scenario having played out in his head by now. He kept his cool around Dorota, informing her he'd go in and "surprise her" himself. Knocking on her bedroom door, he stepped in, noting the dress and shoes that littered her floor. "Blair?" he called out, now wondering if she could even step into her bathroom. He knocked on the bathroom door, jiggling the knob only to realize that it was locked. "Blair open up!" he said pounding, wondering if maybe she'd passed out on the floor or worse…

BC

It was finally making sense to Blair now. Everything. Why'd Chuck had always been there for her, never turned her away. Why she'd paralyzed the butterflies in her stomach from their first meeting, thinking that Nate was the one for her, when it was so obvious Nate was the one that was driving her into self-destruction. Blair didn't need Nate. She needed Chuck. She needed him more than she needed to breathe… holy shit.

It was then that Blair realized that burning sensation that was now growing inside of her, her lungs ready to burst for air. She's pretty much forgotten she was underwater and that unlike fish, she needed to breathe. Eyes popped open, the now warm water burning just slightly as she slammed her eyes shut once again, head coming out of the water. She coughed, taking in deep breaths and rubbing her eyes. She needed to call Chuck… she needed to apologize for what she said, and let him know the truth…

Slowly, the water finally unclogged her ears and Blair realized that someone was pounding on her door… Chuck was at her door. "Just a moment!" she called out in between gasps to breathe.

CB

Chuck heard the water splash loudly, he heard her coughing and gasping for breath from the other side of the locked door and banged on it loudly, before she called out to him. Was it possible she had tried to kill herself in the tub? Chuck's mind was definitely going insane until he heard the door unlock and Blair answer it, clad in only a towel.

"Chuck… I was just thinking about you," she began, trying to grasp the words of how to say it. But before she could even think, the words began coming out. "Look Chuck I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry I got mad earlier, I'm sorry about "regretting" what happened after everything in the limo I'm sorry I've never seen the truth and that I've been denying myself the truth this entire time. Chuck… you're not the only one with butterflies too. I have had them for I don't know how long, but I denied them… Chuck. I don't even know what I'm saying here, but I do know that I don't want to be with Nate. I want to be with you…you're the one that I want and need more than anything else." It'd been so rushed Blair didn't even know if Chuck had captured any of that, but she was taken by surprise when his lips were against his in the most passionate kiss she'd ever experienced. When it was broken, Chuck looked into her eyes. "I love you Blair Waldorf. Always have, Always will."

Annnnnnnnnnnd that's it! My first oneshot! No forgetting to R/R, I'll love you bunches and bunches and bunches if you do! xD