I figured that everybody (well, us shippers, at least) have been pretty down about how the season ended, and it's probably because we're all thinking he won't give her a reason. But, maybe we're all wrong and thinking the worst, so here's my interpretation of the happy way things could go. Not that they will, because this is Grey's after all... It's not that long but it's really only a filler to get you through the day (or night, depending on wherever you are) until another Japril fic is updated! I actually realized it was quite hard for me to write, because I'm not so good at the cute-sy stuff but here goes! So, without further ado, enjoy! :)
"We should really stop."
April lifts her head and frowns, a slightly aggravated look on her face, "What?" She manages to squeak, raising an eyebrow as she stares up at him.
He sits up beside her, pushing himself away from her body. He brushes a hand over his face and sighs, "Look, this- This is how it got ruined in the first place, and I don't really have to remind you of how that turned out, do I?"
She lifts herself up, pulling her scrub top back down and tying the strings of her pants back up, "Nope."
She shakes her head with a faint smile before she looks up at him with a confused stare when he just watches her.
"If we're not going to do this, then I'm leaving."
He grabs her arm as she goes to leave, tugging her back down onto the bed.
She collapses down beside him and huffs, folding her arms over her chest, "What?"
Jackson grins and scoots closer to her, cupping her face softly in his hands, "Don't look at me like that." He smiles at her childish expression, "It's not a big deal."
She gasps and her eyes widen, "Of course it's a big deal! It's how we got here in the first place!" She crosses her legs beneath her body and takes a deep breath, "It's just that you- You- Urgh, I want to go to the carnival!" She pouts and he frowns with utter confusion.
He doesn't reply for a second because he tries to understand what she means, but he gives up and finally asks, "What?"
"I want to go the carnival! I wanna go on the freaking tilt-a-whirl, and you're being a prude."
He smiles with a slight chuckle, "Oh, really? Me?" He points to himself, "This is coming from you, the girl who waited 30 years to have sex?"
April shrugs and brushes off his comment, "I just- I really-" She loses her words so instead she moves closer to him, grabbing the collar of his scrub top between her fingers and biting her bottom lip. She stares down at his mouth for a second before her eyes flicker up to his, "You corrupted me."
He grins again and rests his hands on her waist, "I corrupted you?" His fingers toy with the strings of her scrub pants to mess with her, "Did I make you bad?" He teases and she just nods.
"Very, very bad. And it's been so long, really, really long, and now I want to ride the rides again." She tells him, slipping her hands down the back of his top.
"What exactly do you want to ride?" He jokes and her face changes, a blank look appearing on her face.
April sighs, "You won't let me." She replies, ignoring his question and groaning when he unties the string.
"What is the big deal? It's not as if you haven't gone without sex before." He reminds her and she rolls her eyes.
"That was before I had ever even had sex. That doesn't count. And the second time, when we weren't together, oh, that was torture."
He feels awkward even asking, even bringing it up, "You didn't do it with Matthew?"
She licks her lips and slowly shakes her head, her attention suddenly drawn to the mattress beneath them, "No, I, uh- He hadn't- And I didn't-"
Jackson slightly smirks, "Are you trying to tell me Prince Charming was really a virgin?" He asks, a curious look on his face.
She falters and bites her lip again, "Yep." She glances around awkwardly when she spots the disbelieving look on his face.
"Hold on." He pulls her hands away from him and frowns, "So, you waited your whole life for this guy, for him. And he was perfect, even I'll admit to that, but you still weren't happy that he had waited? For you? For the perfect girl?"
"It's not that, it's just- Look, I did, I wanted all of that. Since I was a little girl, I've wanted to live happily ever after, but then I got older and realized that my life wasn't what I thought it would be."
He grasps her shoulders and gazes across at her, "I am only asking because I don't understand." He tells her sincerely and continues, "If you had everything you wanted, why did it matter what I thought?"
She creases her forehead, "You know why." She speaks easily, her eyes falling down to the floor.
They stay in a quiet silence for a few moments, each trying to think of what to say.
He speaks up eventually, his face calm and honest, "Would you have done it?"
"Done what?"
"Married him? If, you know- If I didn't say anything."
She's not sure what to reply until she notices the visibly tormented look on his face. What does he expect her to say? That if he hadn't told her he wanted her back, she would have married some other guy? That she would have gone on to become someone's else wife despite how she really felt?
"No." She swallows a breath before continuing, "There's- I couldn't do that." She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, "It wouldn't have been fair. To him, or to me. If I didn't really want him, I would have been taking him away from some girl somewhere who could love him he way he deserves and I wouldn't. I can't. I don't want to."
She finally looks back up at him and sighs,
"It wouldn't be fair to you, either. Even if you hadn't of said anything, I couldn't have married him because I'd be constantly wondering what you were thinking. And feeling. And even if it wasn't about me, you'd still deserve to know that I was thinking about you. So, I couldn't marry someone else because that wouldn't be fair to anyone."
"I would be."
He tells her suddenly, grabbing her legs and pulling her closer,
"I would be thinking of you. And if I hadn't of said anything, it's not because I wouldn't have felt it. I don't want you to think that. Because I did, and I do. I think, on some level, I always have done. And, if you hadn't of said anything first, I would have let you go. I know that might make me sound like a wimp or an idiot but I-" He stops talking and softly grips the back of her neck in his hand, "I would have let you go. Because above all else, I want you to be happy. And if he made you happy, if you wanted him, then I would have walked away for good."
She feels her eyebrow twitch and a tear glisten in her eye, "I'm happy with you." She leans her forehead against his and closes her eyes, "I am. I want you, and I'm happy with you and I- I love you." The words leave her mouth before she has time to realize it but she doesn't regret them, she doesn't want to take them back.
Jackson gulps quickly before he pulls her face closer and kisses her, threading his fingers through her hair.
She moves away after a second and opens her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck, "You don't have to-"
"I do." he tells her, "I do, I really- I just- I don't think I've ever said it before and I'm just now realizing that. But I do, I feel like I do and I want to- To tell you- I want to tell you that. And I will. I promise you, I will. Someday. But, right now, I feel like if I speak too soon, I might mess everything up again."
April smiles sweetly and gently shakes her head, "I'm the one who messed everything up, what with the false pregnancy and everything. I never should have said that it was a sign, that it was a good thing that we didn't have to get married-"
"I think everything was just a bunch of misunderstandings and wrong timing." He reassures her, pining the blame on the both of them. It was true, their whole 'romantic relationship' was built over confused words and unspoken feelings.
She nods, "Yeah, we didn't exactly have good timing, did we? With the plane crash, and Mark and Lexie, and my boards, and the hospital, and- I just feel like we wasted a whole year." She rests ehr legs on either side of him and grasps his face. "But right now, everything is fine and-" She cuts herself off and brushes her thumb over his bottom lip. "And I want to go to the carnival."
He gently holds her arm and smirks, "No." He leans forward and lingeringly presses his lips to the crook of her neck.
She softly groans and throws her arms around his neck, "Well, when?"
Jackson lifts his head and licks his lips again, wrapping his arms around her waist to bring her even closer to him if remotely possible, "When we're married."
She suddenly stiffens and stares at him, "You're not pro-"
"No, no." He quickly recaps with a shake of the head and a small smile, "But one day, yeah."
April grins widely, enclosing her arms around his neck and kissing him softly on the lips, "I have to wait until then?" She whispers against his mouth and he chuckles.
"I want to do it right this time." He informs her and she lightly smiles,
"We can still do this though, right?" She asks before she straddles his waist and kisses him again, this time harsher than before as she feels her back hit the mattress.
"Definitely."