Words
Disclaimer: I do not own. I wanted to write a scene with bobby and Dean after this eppy. Please review! I know I know I will get back to my other stories!!!
Dean rubbed his fingers on the glass at Bobby's kitchen table. He lifted his head briefly only to be overwhelmed with memories of Bobby's dreams. The house looked so different then it did now. It was almost unrecognizable to the brothers when they were searching inside Bobby's head. Dean took another swig. His green eyes grew moist at the thought of Bobby having to kill someone he loved with all of his heart, the thought of Bobby killing his wife. Dean's heart tightened at the idea of Bobby even having a wife. Still, he thought with a smile, he was loved. That's all that mattered. Dean smirked at his whiskey glass and downed the last bit as he heard footsteps approaching. Dean kept his eyes cast downward to avoid looking directly into Bobby's for fear that he could see what was inside of him…for seeing that he envied Bobby even with all of the trouble and sorrow he had been through Bobby's eyes…how Bobby was loved. Dean thought maybe Bobby was like him in the fact that he was never meant to settle down with someone. That image was tarnished, destroyed in an instant leaving Dean to find the words to explain who and what he was and what he deserved.
"Been quiet all week, Dean. Most of the time, I cant' get you to shut up." Bobby took a seat at the table.
"Want to talk about it?"
Dean allowed his sad eyes to face Bobby's.
"No thanks, I'm fine."
Bobby snorted pushing his chair a few inches back.
"You are such a liar boy. Come on, "his face smiled, "You can tell me. I let you dig around in my head didn't I?"
Dean smiled realizing that was Bobby's way of trying to get Dean to open up.
Dean nodded biting his lower lip, eyes suddenly wide with fear.
"Please don't; tell Sammy."
Bobby's eyes softened as he had flashbacks of the last time Dean had spoken those words to him after making the deal to save Sam.
"Sure," he agreed.
Dean took a deep breath. "I saw myself, actually", a small chuckle escaped. "Guess even I can't resist me, huh?"
The smirk and disgust in Dean's voice was not lost on Bobby.
"Go on, son."
Dean's features grew cold as he lingered back in the dream.
"I told myself how useless I really am, a nothing, a mindless soldier created to fulfill one purpose and one purpose only, protect Sam at all costs …"
Bobby interrupted. "That's not true…."
"My dad…."
Bobby leaned forward waiting for Dean's words, anger brewing at the thought that john made Dean feel any less than he was. .
"What about your dad?"
Dean gritted his teeth. "My dad was an asshole. He never cared about us. He would always leave us. He's say, "I'll be home in two days tops Dean. I promise." A week would go by sometimes longer. Food would be scare. There were so many times I thought I'd be better off splitting with Sammy…." His voice lowered at his admittance. "Maybe come live with you."
Bobby felt his own tears welling into his tired old eyes. He was at a loss of what to say.
"I know what you'd tell me, Bobby. My dad loved us and did the best he could. " Dean laughed. "Yeah….I used to believe that or at least I thought I did. That's what I told myself anyway." Dean grew quiet. Bobby kept one eye on him feeling his breath hitch as the silence in the room was deafening. Dean was restless and Bobby knew that meant only one thing.
Dean stood up and with one swift motion swung the glass against the wall causing Bobby to shudder involuntarily at the sound. He picked up another empty glass and threw that as well.
"You bastard! How dare you leave me here to fight this alone! You left me because you couldn't make the decision to weather kill Sam or save him. " Dean's shoulders sagged aching as his screams were lost on a man who was long since dead. "Why me?"
Bobby stood up, his heart beating as he braced himself for another attack. He laid one gentle hand on dean's shoulder. He didn't' know what to say. There was nothing he could say to that.
Dean turned from facing the wall and stared directly into Bobby's eyes as tears fell. "I did that. I saved him. Now what the hell am I suppose to do? I don't want to die, Bobby"a sob escaped as Dean stood up slamming his fist on the table. He damned his weakness especially in front of another hunter.
Bobby sighed.
"First of all, you ain't alone. You never were. It might seem like that at times, but you're never alone Dean."
Dean's youth showed through as he took in Bobby's words.
"You're right, you did save Sam, but now it's time to do something you're father forgot to mention before he left you: save you as well. That's mine and Sam's job. Nothing's going to change that."
Dean shook, his body racking with sobs threatening to escape. He reached out and clutched Bobby in a strong embrace.
There were no words to say. He had heard what he needed to hear.
Hope you all liked. Please let me know what you thought! That was an awesome episode wasn't it?