Liam was thoughtful.
Not in a cliché way, with flowers and chocolates, but in a subtle way. When he compliments me it was always genuine and not forced. He smelled amazing all the time, and his smile made my heart skip a beat. We spent almost the same amount of time getting ready in the morning, because he hated when his hair didn't look the right amount of messy. I loved the way he never had a speck of dirt on him unless he was hanging out with the guys. I loved the way he could talk with that deep accent I had fallen in love with, and then when he sang, by himself or with the guys, I was captivated.
Ally was perfect.
There wasn't another way to describe her. She made me laugh when I was feeling down. How she was always opinionated, but completely supportive of any decision the guys and I decided to make. How she wasn't afraid of going public, because she loved my fans almost as much as I did. The way she could make me speechless when she gently ran her fingers down my spine, or how she placed soft kissed on my neck when I was too stressed. She wasn't shy when it came to sex, and openly admitted to loving it. The guys chirped us mercilessly, but she could dish it right back without hesitation. I was completely and totally in love.
So maybe that's what made me leave. The fact that I had finally found a guy who made me weak in the knees and that I had completely no control over myself when I was around him. Liam was my weakness, and he knew it.
After watching as he achieve his most wildest dreams in less than a year, and then watching he and his band climb the wall of fame, I found myself boarding a charter plan back to my home country, Canada. I used my schooling from the UK to get an intern job at MTV, a Toronto-based television company, and started making a name for myself.
I honestly don't know where I went wrong. I woke up one morning and Ally had disappeared. Her stuff was gone, and no one knew where she left. I was shattered. Completely and utterly broken. The guys tried to cheer me up, but nothing worked. I was in a slump for a good couple months until I hooked up with a dancer from one of our concerts. I wasn't one for one-night stands, so the next morning I tried to initiate conversation with her. She was quiet and very composed, the exact opposite of Ally. I knew I didn't love her, but I couldn't stop myself from asking her out. We had a connection, nothing as strong as my previous relationship, but she was there for me, and I knew she wouldn't leave. She was safe and stable, and I craved it.
"Ally, can I talk to you for a minute?" Marc, the guy who ran the show around here, asked me shortly after I'd taken a seat at my desk. I smiled happily at him, and nodded, getting out of my chair and walking down a long corridor with him until he abruptly stopped. "Lauren's grandmother passed away. She's going to be gone for the next week, and there is a .Live interview we need to do." I was with Lauren when she'd gotten the call, she was completely devastated.
"So what does that have to do with me Marc?" I questioned, not really understanding what he meant. He smiled at me, before grabbing my shoulders lightly.
"I need you to do the interview Ally." He stated, and I felt my eyes widen dramatically. This was the big break I had been waiting for since I started working here a year ago.
"But can't Phoebe do it, or…" I stammered, not really able to process any of the thoughts that were currently running through my head. He shook his head, laughing at how flustered I was.
"Phoebe's in Cancun right now setting up for Spring Break. She'll be back in time for the show but not long enough to prepare for the interview. Everyone already has their jobs, and we all agreed that you can do this." Marc encouraged, and I couldn't stop myself from nodding, a grin covering my face. I could do this.
"I'd love to Marc!" I replied, and accepted the hug he offered me. I hurried back to my desk, and quickly pulled up the schedule, wondering who I'd be interviewing. I clicked on the airing for the twenty-seventh of February, and waited as it loaded.
Big Time Rush and One Direction on NML.
I started at the screen, not believing my eyes. They surely couldn't mean the One Direction I was thinking about.
"Hey bitch, we're getting lunch. You're coming." Liz demanded, appearing behind me with a laughing Jesse. I just looked at both them, before looking at the screen again.
"Looks like someone found out that she's doing her first interview," Jesse sang, forcing Liz to hit him playfully on the chest. It was obvious that she was really into him, but he and Phoebe were dating, complicating the situation. The smiled at each other for a second, before both turning to me with questioning looks. Liz seemed to clue in first, noticing my look of shock was not over scoring my big break, and glanced at the screen again.
"Why are you freaking out? You aren't a big Rusher, and I've never heard you mention anything about One Direction." Jesse said, grabbing my wrists lightly and pulling me from my chair. Liz had a look of intense concentration on, but gasped suddenly.
"One Direction, Liam, as in your ex-boyfriend, it all makes sense now! That's why you never sang along with us when 'What Makes You Beautiful' came on!" Liz exclaimed, shaking her hands wildly as she talked, Jesse seemed confused though.
"Wait, you dated Liam Payne? I have the biggest man-crush on him!" Jesse yelled, making some of our co-workers eye him weirdly. I slapped his arm, before pulling them both out the front door and into the streets.
"Once you guys are done fangirling we can get back to the matter at hand. I left him, in the middle of the night and haven't talked to him or any of the other guys in a year. This is going to be the most awkward interview in the history of NML." I muttered, and let Liz pull us into a Subway, as we got in line and recited our orders, the workers already familiar with us.
"Well at least you interview BTR first, that way you can have a good interview, than an awkward one!" Jesse replied hopefully as we sat down with our meals. Liz let out an unattractive snort at his comment, and soon they were both laughing as I sat there lost in my thoughts. All I could think about was that I had two days to prepare myself for the biggest point in my career, and the possible downfall of my social life.
"Should we grab some lunch before the interview?" Harry asked, and we all agreed, getting our driver to take us to a restaurant beside Much Music. We were a few minutes into our meal when the screaming started. Chants, proclaims of love, you name it, we heard it. As we continued to eat, Niall and Zayn left for a smoke break. Zayn had been smoking since before we met him, but Niall had just started, and we didn't really classify it as a problem yet. They were back before we finished our plates, and Louis leaned back in his chair, smiling at us mischievously.
"I say we give the fans a treat, I mean, they have been standing out there in the cold for a while…" Louis trailed off, and we all watched as he climbed up onto the ledge of the closest window, before posing for the girls down below. The screams grew louder, and Zayn was using a chair to stand beside Louis. I used my arms to pull myself up, and turning around to give Niall a boost up. Harry held his plate of chips in one hand, and motioned for Paul with the other. We all laughed as our bodyguard/babysitter begrudgingly walked over to Harry, before wrapping his arms around his waist and lifting him onto the ledge. We continued to pose playfully, Niall and me even getting into a play-fight, before we were told it was time to head next door, and we waved goodbye as the girls screamed even louder.
I was freaking out. I mean, I wasn't even nervous, all I could do was picture the looks on the guys' faces. Liz gave me a final hug, before leaving to her perch atop the building across the street. Jesse gave me a thumbs up before heading to outside 1D's dressing room where he was supposed to build up suspense.
I got through the BTR interview flawlessly, and the guys said it was great to meet me, and soon I had four new contacts in my iPhone. I gave them hugs goodbye, before stepping out onto the platform before the screaming girls, knowing that the commercial break was almost over.
"I have been waiting my whole life to see something like this, and this is happening! Are you ready to meet One Direction? I'm pretty sure we have a camera on them, and I'm pretty sure they are coming out!" I yelled into the microphone, literally shaking. I was scared and it was only a matter of seconds.
The screams got louder as the boys pushed through the crowd. The first one I saw was Harry, and it was easy to see that he had fallen gracefully into the role of heartthrob. Niall was next, and he looked just as hyper as always, the smile never leaving his face. Zayn was behind the Irish, and smiled charmingly at all the fans. His hair was bigger, and his skin looked darker. I had always found him attractive, but now he just aimed to make girls weak in the knees. I averted my eyes, not ready to look at the next person, knowing who it would be.
"Ally?" Harry asked as they walked on stage, and I could barely hear him over the screaming girls. I had dyed my hair a dark brown, compared to the blonde they were used to. Niall smiled, before pulling me into a hug and kissing my cheek, and I thanked him for not making the situation anymore awkward. Zayn glanced behind him on Liam, and when he turned around it was clear what he was thining.
Oh shit.
I tried to ignore all the screaming, and just grinned as I made my way through the throng of girls. It seemed like an hour later I was finally climbing the steps to the platform, and I smiled back at Louis, before turning to see Zayn staring at me worriedly. I didn't know why, until I saw our interviewer.
Even with different coloured hair, I still recognized her immediately. She was as gorgeous as ever, and looked beautiful even though you could see she was scared shitless. I felt a twinge guilt, before anger chorused through my veins. She left me, not the other way around. I needed to act like this wasn't affecting me.
Liam stood on the side opposite of Zayn from me, and I couldn't help myself from touching his shoulder and letting my hand linger down his chest momentarily, trying to appear friendly. I felt the familiar tingle in my fingertips. I bit my lip, before deciding to get this show on the road.
"Okay, Harry, Niall, Zayn, Liam, and Louis! How are you?" I asked, and it took Louis a second to recognize me. His eyes widened as he responded to the question, and I kept them out there for a few more seconds before deciding to take then back to the couch for their interview.
"That was crazy," Harry said to Niall, obviously referring to me, but his microphone caught it, so he said it again clearly, making it seem as if he was referring to the fans. I glanced at them all, trying to spot any differences. Liam had cut his hair since the last time I saw it, and now he sported a short, straight look. I always loved his curls, to the point where I would hide his pink straighteners so he was forced to go curly for the day.
As I started talking, Louis rubbed Liam's back supportively, glaring at me slightly. I guess I couldn't expect them all to be happy with my decision, hell, I didn't expect Niall to be so okay with seeing me at all. The interview was going great, but I kept making eye contact with Liam. I could see the pain in his dark brown eyes, but even worse was the anger. His entire face expressed how extremely pissed off he was.
To try and lighten the mood I brought out the personalized Kleenex boxes Liz had bought as a joke, and I tried to keep smiling, even though all I wanted to do was cry right now. I started asking them questions I already knew the answers to, and felt my heartbreak every time Liam answered my questions towards the camera, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.
"We're going to take a quick break, and then we'll be back with One Direction!" I said with fake excitement, and I was being led through the crowd into the green room with the guys, the door behind me locking quickly so fans couldn't come in.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Liam asked calmly, glaring at me. I chewed on my bottom lip, but refused to show how much I really wanted to cry right then. Harry came to my rescue, and took a step between us so that he could try and control the situation.
"Liam you need to calm down, being mean to her won't make her answer your questions any quicker." He stated, taking over the role of peacekeeper.
"Get the fuck out of my way Haz," Liam stated, before shoving Harry away and pulling me into the small bathroom, his grip on my wrist would definitely leave a bruise. "Explain. Now."
"What do you want me to say?" I asked feebly, already feeling the tears cloud my eyes. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration, pulling at the end relentlessly.
"Why don't you start off with why you left? That sounds like a great fucking place to start." He replied bitterly, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him. The anger in his eyes had dulled, but the pain was almost overwhelming. I blinked slowly, and a lone tear trailed down my cheek. Using his thumb, Liam quickly brushed it away, starting at me intently still.
"I was scared Liam. I was scared of how we were falling together so quickly, I was scared we were going to end up like my parents, divorced and bitter. I was scared that I wouldn't be enough for you." I whispered, causing him to lean closer so he could hear what I was saying.
"I've been a mess since you left. I can't believe you're here, right now, in front of me." Liam said slowly, leaning even closer towards me. I shut my eyes as I felt his breath on my face, and soon felt his lips press softly against my own. I threaded my fingers through his short hair, using my nails to scratch his scalp lightly as he wrapped his arms around my lower back, pulling my body flush up against his own.
I couldn't believe I was kissing her again. My Ally. Back in my arms, like I'd longed for ever since she left. As I lifted her up so I wouldn't have to lean down as much, I noticed how much lighter she felt. I couldn't help my hands from lowering onto her behind, and squeezing lightly, I had always been and ass man.
She moaned against my mouth, and that was the only invitation I needed before my tongue was fighting with hers for dominance. I had already spent countless hours exploring her mouth before she left, so it only took a few seconds for me to reacquaint myself. I turned so she was sitting on the small counter, and her legs wrapped around my waist tightly, causing a certain part of her anatomy to rub up against my obvious excitement. I moved my hands from her ass and hovered over her shirt, massaging her breasts through her plaid shirt.
Liam let out his own moan as I moved my hips in a circle, grinding up against his most private place. It felt rejuvenating to be close with him again, and it was just like when he got back from the X Factor tour, where we had spent 48 hours in our bed, making up for lost time. Now a year and we had easily fit back into our groove. A knock sounded on the door, causing us to pull away.
"Commercial's almost over." Harry's deep voice rang out, and I blushed as I untangled myself from Liam. I stood in front of the mirror, fixing my hair, make up and clothes, before walking out. I don't know if it was my bruised lips, or Liam's sex-hair, but the guys all looked at us suspiciously. I smiled slightly, before going out the door and following the security back to our interview spot.
"I have to ask… Raise your hand if you're single?" I asked with a grin, and watching as Harry, Niall and Zayn all raised their hands. I raised my won, jokingly, but watched as Liam wrapped and arm around Louis' shoulders, and Louis hugged him back. I felt the smile plastered on my face, but I was positive my blush could be seen. "Three out of two, or three out of five. I should say three out of five." I said, a little flustered.
"Three out of two," Harry replied, making me laugh as Niall cracked up.
"Two are not single, they are together, and they are in love." I stated, a smile on my face but my eyes were filled with pure embarrassment. I just stuck to my script the rest of the interview, but I wasn't there mentally. Liam had used me. Used me to cheat on a girlfriend he was obviously confident enough to go public with.
Soon we were back on the platform outside and the guys were bidding goodbye to the fans. I was pulled back into the green room, and was just standing there while the guys all talked about how crazy the fans were. Liz and Jesse both entered the room, and introduced themselves to the guys, before conversation started flowing. I was silent, and didn't say anything as Liam asked to speak with me in the bathroom. I followed him, no clear expression on my face.
"Why are you acting this way?" Liam asked, his eyes scanning my features, frustration evident as he realized I wasn't the open book I used to be.
"Why didn't you tell me about your girlfriend?" I asked bitterly, crossing my arms and pulling myself up so I could sit on the counter, my mind instantly filling with images from the commercial break.
"You never asked." He replied, using his hips to nudge my knees apart, and stopping so he was standing between my legs. He intertwined his fingers with my own, and stroked my cheek with his palm.
"Well I feel like shit knowing that you cheated on her with me. I mean, I don't want to be known as a boyfriend-stealer." I admitted, letting out a sigh and resting my forehead against his. As soon as I finished talking though, he pulled back suddenly, a grin forming on his face.
"What makes you think you're a boyfriend stealer?" He asked amusement evident on his face. I bit my lip, confused as to why he was saying this, but replied anyways.
"Well it's a home wrecker, but you guys aren't married. I can't believe I stole a poor girls man…" I trailed off, as Liam untangled our fingers and took a step back, cutting off any contact between us.
"You haven't stolen anyone's man. We aren't getting back together Ally. I admit I shouldn't have kissed you, but I can't do anything about it now. You've been out of my life for a year, I'm pretty sure you can stay out for a little longer." Liam finished, turning the handle of the door, and swiftly stepping through, his laugh still echoing through the tiny room.
I was then I realized what had just happened. Liam had played me. He had tried to hurt me as much as I hurt him. And I knew it, when the dull ache in my chest screamed painfully at the realization. Liam never planned on getting back together with me, he just wanted me to know how much it hurt. And it hurt.