Index:

Proper Weapon Care and Maintenance, Ruby x Penny

Ice Cream Social, Yang x Neo

The Woman in Crimson, Glynda x Cinder

The Morning After, May x NDGO and RWBY

A/N: If you know me, then you know I hate having tons of one shots around, so here's a compilation of one shots– all ladies loving ladies of course. First up is Dolts and bolts, or nuts and dolts, whatever you want to call it. Warning: Spoilers up to V2E3 (but if you didn't know, really?)

Proper Weapon Care and Maintenance

Ruby couldn't help but smile as she looked down at the sheet in front of her. She was sitting cross-legged in the middle of her dorm room, performing her daily ritual. It was how she relaxed herself– calmed herself. But that wasn't why she did it. This was an act of love.

She loved every piece and part of Crescent Rose, her pride and joy. The weapon was her life. So everyday, while everyone else was out of the room, Ruby disassembled and cleaned her.

Normally, there wasn't a soul around when she did this. She couldn't stand letting anyone see Crescent Rose like this– all exposed and vulnerable. This was supposed to be for her eyes only. So she memorized her teammate's schedules so she could get some nice alone time with her weapon.

"Salutations, friend!" A voice suddenly called as her door slammed open.

"Penny!?" Ruby responded, trying to cover up as much of Crescent Rose as she could. At least her internals.

"Oh my," the girl said, covering her mouth. "What are you doing?"

"I was just cleaning my weapon." Ruby smiled up at the girl, her eyes darting around. "In private."

"Maybe I should go," Penny said, shocking Ruby a little. The girl– android?– had never been able to take a hint before. She had only seen the girl look this hesitant when she was scared to reveal her secret.

The redhead hesitated a moment. "No, no, you can stay if you want." Ruby wasn't really sure about having someone watch her clean her weapon, but she wanted to spend a little more time with the mysterious girl. "It's just a bit of routine maintenance. Maybe once I'm done we can hang out. Go shopping or something, maybe get some– food?" She wasn't sure if the android even ate human food. She gave a little nervous laugh and rubbed the back of her head.

Penny walked into the room and sat at the other side of the sheet. Ruby watched as her green eyes scanned over every little piece of her Crescent Rose. The eyes seemed overly invasive; they focused and bore into the disassembled pieces. "You do this every day?"

Ruby nodded, reaching behind herself and grabbing a clean cloth and a little bottle. With quick hands, she doused the cloth and began to wipe away some dirt that had built up in her last training session. "Yes, I need to keep her in fighting shape."

"Combat ready."

"Exactly." Ruby smiled, her deft hands continuing to remove every single molecule of grime and gunpowder from her weapon.

"Yeah– clean that firing pin," Penny said under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Ruby raised an eyebrow at Penny's little hiccup. Penny was acting so strange today. Strange as in deviation from her normal weirdness.

"You seem to know what you're doing," Penny deadpanned.

The tone sounded odd in Ruby's ears. Even though Penny wasn't really human, her voice always inflected– almost too much. Ruby glanced up at Penny and noticed that the girl had achieved an awkward perfect stillness. There was always and odd robotic precision to Penny's movements, but even so she had never become inanimate before.

"Yes, I do this every day. I have every single part memorized and I know exactly what I need to do. I could do this blindfolded."

"Blindfolded?" Penny squeaked.

"Yeah, I've trained at it since I was a child. It's part of caring for a weapon," Ruby said, moving on to her next piece.

"You must care for this weapon dearly."

"Her name is Crescent Rose, she's my sweetheart. I built her myself. Materials, fabrication, construction; I did it all. I love her."

"Her? So– you enjoy female weapons?" Penny asked.

Ruby glanced up and found that Penny had leaned in and was staring intently into her eyes. It was always a little frightening when Penny got a little too intense. "I guess. I never thought about it, she just seemed like a she."

"I see," Penny said, leaning back. "You sure are gentle with her."

"Huh?"

"When I have maintenance performed, it's done roughly. My internals are blasted with a cleansing solvent. I am disassembled by automated machines and each piece is run through the equivalent of a car wash."

"Oh." Ruby tilted back and talked somewhat out of the side of her mouth. She wasn't really sure how to respond to that. "That sounds– painful?"

"It is. But I'm made of advanced military grade materials and I have been reassured that I can withstand far more than what they do. All my parts have been stress tested and have life cycles of over a million activations."

"Wow, that's a lot. Do you know what sort of metals they use for your joints?"

"I think I'd prefer it if we get to know each other better before talking about that."

"I see, I guess it's classified. But that's pretty cool. I know I could be a little rougher with Crescent Rose. She's metal and, sure, she's built tough, but I guess I don't feel great doing that. She deserves better, you know?"

"Yes. That is–," Penny hesitated, shifting her legs a little beneath her, "that is very kind of you."

Ruby smiled, happy that she was getting to know this odd girl a little better. Everyone else thought it was a mistake to even associate with her, but she was so interesting. Especially her armaments; the girl was chocked full of extremely cool, high powered weaponry. There wasn't anything Ruby loved more than weapons.

With practiced hands, she lifted up the rod that she used to clean Crescent Rose's barrel. Ruby heard another squeak from the other side of sheet as she slotted a clean patch into it.

She lifted Crescent Rose's barrel and slowly slid the cleaning rod in. Her eyes lifted and watched Penny. The girl's eyes were glued to part resting in Ruby's hand. Every inch seemed to send a shiver up Penny's spine.

When the rod got to the end, she reached down and pulled the cloth out before withdrawing the rod carefully. She knew she didn't need to keep it from touching the barrel, but she always did anyway. It was just something special for her favorite gun.

"Sensational," Penny whispered.

"Umm, are you alright?" Ruby asked, watching the girl who had started to take short, shallow breaths. She didn't even know if Penny actually needed air.

"I am fantastic. You sure are skilled at that," the girl responded, finally speaking in her normal volume.

"I guess so." Ruby continued to stare at Penny. The girl always acted weird, but she was acting exceptionally strange today.

"I know this is very forward, and it's so wrong to ask while you are working on another girl, but could you– could you perform maintenance on me?"

Ruby raised an eyebrow at that. "What?"

"I am sorry, I understand if you want to be exclusive with Crescent Rose. But your hands are so gentle, and you're so sweet with her, I just had to ask."

Ruby thought about what the girl was saying. Then she thought about how the girl had been acting. Then her mind went blank for about five seconds.

This time it was Ruby who had to squeak. "Oh. Ohmygod. It was– to you– this is–," Ruby covered her blushing face with her hands.

Penny had circled around the sheet in those moments while Ruby wasn't fully conscious. After a few moments of indistinct blubbering from the redheaded girl, Penny touched her on the shoulder.

"Is that a no?"

Ruby let her fingers split and stared at Penny out the corner of her eye. She'd be lying if she said that she didn't want to see what made the girl tick– literally. But it would be so embarrassing since, apparently, it was something very intimate to Penny. She had never thought of the way she cleaned Crescent Rose in that particular way.

"I guess I can try."

Yang jogged past Weiss as they headed for the room. "I'm sure Ruby's bouncing off the walls. Bet she has something fun planned."

"Something that you won't be a part of. If you don't keep studying you're going to fail."

Yang paused as Weiss strode past her calmly. "Aww come on, we spent the whole day in the library."

"It doesn't matter, you're so far behind that you're still going to fail," Weiss opened the door and then stopped in her tracks.

Her team leader had a naked girl lying on the floor. The moaning was so soft Weiss hadn't noticed from outside. Ruby pulled her hands out of the other girl's chest and stared at Weiss. "This isn't what it looks like."

Weiss stared at Ruby for a moment, then turned to Yang, who looked just as confused as she did. "I don't even know what this looks like."

"Salutations, Weiss!" Penny nearly shouted, sitting up off of the ground.

"Whoa." Ruby did her best to keep some loose components from falling out.

Penny turned and smiled at her. "Thank you, friend." The android looked over to Weiss. "Ruby was just cleaning my internals. It feels wonderful."

"What–,"

"Aww, my baby sis is becoming an adult. I think."

"No it's just– well, it sort of is, but not really. See, I was cleaning Crescent Rose and she showed up, and one thing led to another, and–,"

"I'm leaving," Weiss interrupted, turning and walking away from the door.

Yang hesitated, then picked up one of Penny's socks and hung it on the door. "I'll get out of your hair. You kids have fun."

"Are you going to finish?" Penny asked with a smile.

Ruby let out a deflated sigh as the door slammed shut. "Yeah."