A/N: Sorry I know this was already up but I had to separate the stories, sorry! *gives you pleading eyes and hopes you forgive her* and for those of you that have never read What hurts the most, it's a song fic with Dean/Cas because I'm convinced that they are in love. :D
Disclaimer: I do not own the song or supernatural.
Summary: song fic "what hurts the most" Dean thinks back to his time with Cas and what he left unspoken also in this one Cas left and went back to heaven at the end of season 5 and this is Dean dealing with it...
Song: Cascada- What hurts the most
What hurts the most?
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
The rain and thunder on the roof of the empty house when I first saw you didn't scare me, I can even take a few tears now and then and just let them out, I'm not afraid of crying.
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
I'm not afraid of crying but what bothers me and keeps me up at night is the thought of never seeing you again.
There are days where I convince myself I'm ok and that you haven't left me and gone back to heaven and that I don't wish you could come back to me and back into my arms but that's not what gets to me, what gets to me is...
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What gets to me is how close we were, we were almost touching, having so much to say to each other and not saying how we felt.
When I think about it, what gets to me the most is what could have been, and how stupid I was not seeing that all this time loving you was all I was trying to do.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
Every day I have to deal with the pain of losing you, I sometimes find myself remembering the moments we spent together and I find the tears falling down my face and feeling like I can't go on but somehow I'm doing it.
It's hard to force a smile when I see something that reminds me of you and getting up and getting dressed and living with this regret becomes harder.
But I know if I could do things again I would have told you every word that I held in my heart and left unspoken.
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