She stood alone on the bridge of the Starry Wisdom. She could still feel the warmth of his lips on hers, the touch of his hand as they pulled apart, his tears still mingled with hers on her cheeks. Her hopes, her dreams, everything she ever wanted out of life had just ended. She heard the soft hiss of the door leading onto the bridge and felt Ishmael Khalid's strong arms around her shoulders. He didn't say anything—there was nothing to be said. Suddenly her iron control evaporated; she collapsed into his arms with gut wrenching, heaving sobs that were tearing her soul apart. Ishmael just held her until all of her tears were spent.
"Sarah, would you like me to escort you to your quarters or do you not wish to be alone?" asked Ishmael.
"I…I don't want to be alone," mumbled Sarah. "Please stay with me."
"Of course," he said gently and proceeded to lead her off the bridge to the Wisdom's lab, which was her 'home away from home' as she called it. He knew Sarah was always happiest when she was working. He hoped that keeping busy would help her, for at least a few seconds at a time, to keep her mind off Dylan.
"How could he leave, Ishmael?" she asked. "How could he give up what we had, even for the Commonwealth? I thought I meant the world to him," she said bitterly. "I guess I was wrong. Funny thing is, he was the world to me. I wouldn't have given him up for a thousand Commonwealths!"
"It was honor, Sarah, High Guard honor," said Ishmael proudly but kindly. "When we take that oath we are honor-bound to put the welfare of others above our own—no exceptions!"
"Oh yes! That glorious and wonderful High Guard honor! Where would we be without it!" she said sarcastically.
"Sarah, you know that's not fair. He would have taken you with him if he could have. He tried. It wasn't his fault the technology wasn't up to transporting you both."
"I know….If only…."
"Sarah, why don't you go to your quarters and lie down. You are exhausted. I also think you need to grieve this. Anger is normal because acceptance will come after, as hard as that is for you to believe right now."
"You're right Ishmael," said Sarah without her usual spirit. "I think I can use a little nap."
She entered her cabin and lay down on the bed fully clothed because she didn't have the energy to change. Instead of sleep however, her mind raced with thousands of 'what ifs' but each thought brought her back to the inevitable stark reality that he was gone, forever out of her reach. She thought of their children, who now would never be born. She thought of how they would have grown old together, still in love as much as the day they would have married. "Damn the Nietzcheans, damn the High Guard, and damn the universe that stole the only man from me that gave my life meaning," she raged. Then she cried and cried for a very long time.
Several hours later, Sarah was sitting in her darkened cabin. Her eyes dry, her mind numb. She couldn't think of anything anymore because in every direction this overwhelming sadness lay waiting to ambush her in an unguarded moment. Just then she heard the door chimes sound.
"Come in," she said dully.
"Sarah," asked Ishmael, "why are you sitting in the dark?"
"Because I don't want to look at anything," she answered.
"Come on, I've come to take you to dinner. We'll be arriving on Sinti in less than half an hour."
"I'm not hungry."
"Nonsense. You've got to eat or else you'll get sick. Come, wash your face and let's go."
"Has anyone ever told you you're as fussy as a mother hen?" she asked.
"No, but you're welcome to try," he smiled.
"Alright, I guess I've moped around long enough. Give me a minute." Sarah got up and went to the bathroom. She washed her face and combed her hair. When she looked in the mirror she was shocked at her reflection. Who was that hollow-eyed woman staring back at her? She shook off the thought, applied a little make-up and went to join Ishmael.
"What kind of food would you like to eat Sarah?" he asked.
"Persied Ishmael. That is what I have a taste for."
"Very well, and since we're in orbit around Sinti I would say it is the perfect choice," he smiled. "Let's go."
They went down to the planet's surface in a small shuttle and landed on a landing pad on top of the tall building housing the Persied restaurant. They took an elevator down two floors and walked into the popular eatery with the fantastic view. After the waiter sat them down by a window and took their order a silence fell between the two friends. After an uncomfortable interval Ishmael said, "Sarah, I want you to know that I will always be here for you. You know you can ask me anything, anytime. Dylan asked me to take care of you and your safety, but I want you to know I would do it just the same. For you."
Sarah looked at him strangely and questioningly. "Ishmael, please don't take this the wrong way because I don't mean it that way but your offer is 'un-Nietzchean' to say the least."
"Sarah, it may seem so to you, but I consider both you and Dylan 'family,' and Nietzcheans never ever abandon family, especially Nietzchean's of my Pride, Marjorum Pride."
"That may be so, but I sense something else—something more," said Sarah with a puzzled expression on her face. "Do you want to tell me what it is?"
"Yes. There is something more Sarah. I hesitate to say this, especially now since you are grieving, but I have feelings for you. The kind of feelings a man has for a woman. I have had them for quite a long time but held my tongue because of your and Dylan's relationship. I would never, ever betray a friend and brother. My personal and High Guard honor absolutely forbids it. So there it is," he finished and looked at her with open yearning.
"Ishmael, I don't know what to say. I never even suspected. Essentially you were in the same situation as I am now, yearning for something out of reach."
"Yes, I was," he said. "Sarah, I'm not trying to push you. You need to grieve and probably for quite a while, but I just wanted to tell you I will always be here for you regardless of your decision."
"You are a wonderful friend Ishmael," she smiled. "And a wonderful man. You are right; I do need to grieve Dylan. Give me time and I hope eventually I can return your feelings," she said and looked him in the eyes. "But please note this, that as a human woman, I could never share you with anyone else. I simply cannot imagine it. And as a Nietzchean, would your people ever accept a human woman as your wife? What would they think of you marrying a human instead of a Nietzchean woman or women?"
"I understand," said Ishmael, "that you wouldn't want any co-wives. I would be willing to accept that. As for my people, my family and other loyal Nietzcheans would be reluctant but eventually they would accept you. I am sure of it, after all how could they not, especially after getting to know you?" he smiled.
They finished their meal in a companionable conversation, which Sarah steered to other topics other than their personal futures.
After a few weeks, Sarah felt ready to resume her work. She secured a position at the Sinti Scientific Technical Institute and threw herself into her work with a vengeance. She still mourned for Dylan but was slowly beginning to accept that her life must go on without him—after all, didn't he want that for her as well? Ishmael made weekly visits but never again brought up the subject of his love for her. He never pressured her. Sarah found herself slowly looking forward to these visits and eventually even asked him to come more often.
After a while his visits became daily events. They went for long walks together in the beautiful parks in Miliri, the capitol city of Sinti, ate at different restaurants, and went to sample the artistic offerings of the many cultures represented. It seemed that they lived in their own world blissfully unaware of the Long Night taking hold of more and more of the universe. But they couldn't ignore it forever. One day a small Nietzchean pride, called Tiger Pride, attacked Sinti and caused quite a few casualties before they were repulsed by the Home Guard.
Sarah's Aunt, Admiral Stark, visited her one-day and over dinner she filled Sarah in on the savage conditions out in the Known Worlds. Law and order was deteriorating, slavery was back in vogue, and honor and principles were casualties of war. The strong preyed on the weak and justice simply couldn't be had. She also told Sarah that the High Guard was losing to the Nietzchean insurrection and that they were going to try to make a last stand with the last of their ships at the Millennium Cluster in the Andromeda Galaxy.
"Aunt Connie, is it really as serious as all that?" she asked the Admiral, whom she loved like a mother. After Sarah's parents were killed in an orbital explosion, her mother's sister, Constanza, stepped in and raised the bewildered and frightened eight-year-old. She paid for the finest schools and loved Sarah with a fierce protectiveness she would have given to her own children had she had any.
"Yes, I'm afraid it is that serious my dear, and more. To tell you the truth Sarah, I don't think we are going to win. I'm afraid the great Systems Commonwealth is already dead. With most of our fleet being decimated at the Battle of Whichhead, we have very little hope. With Tarn Vedra being cut off from the Known Worlds, everything is going downhill fast. Now everyone is just thinking of basic survival as should you. Try to find a place my child where you can live out your life in safety. Sinti will not be safe for long. The Drago-Katzsov Pride is already showing ambitions in this direction."
"Aunt Connie . . . that is terrible. Come with me. One more Admiral won't make a difference from what you tell me!"
"No Sarah, I cannot do that. The High Guard may be almost dead but I swore an oath of honor to it when I was very young. I could never live with myself if I betrayed it at its hour of need. Knowing that you are safe will help me immensely," she finished, smiling.
"Funny, those are almost the exact words Dylan said when he went back … to the future."
"And he was right my Sarah. As much as it hurt you, Dylan did his duty, the duty every High Guard Officer must perform when called upon."
"When will I see you again Aunt Connie?" asked Sarah sadly.
"I don't know my dear. It is in the hands of the Divine."
They bid each other a tearful farewell and Sarah knew in her heart she would never see her beloved aunt ever again. She clung to her until Constanza Stark gently disengaged herself, kissed her niece, and walked away with tears in her eyes. This was the first time in many, many years that she had cried.
Later that evening when Ishmael called on her, Sarah told him what her aunt had told her. "Ishmael, we must find a suitable planet tucked away in the slipstream and try to colonize it with survivors from Andromeda and the crew of the Starry Wisdom."
"That's an excellent idea Sarah but it will take time to find such a world. I will send out scouts from the Wisdom's crew and try to locate a suitable planet. In the meanwhile, send out inquiries to the Andromeda's survivors and I will ask the Wisdom's crew if they would wish to be colonists on a new world. Actually invite any of the ship's families if they care to join us. But don't forget to remind them that secrecy is vital. The reason we are going is that we want to live in safety. The less people who know where we we'll be, the better."
"All right then," said Sarah. "Let's get busy tomorrow." she said and lightly kissed Ishmael on his cheek. He just looked at her in surprise then smiled, showing his love for her. Sarah stepped back, looked at him and embraced him, and this time gave him a deeply passionate kiss. He returned it with a great passion of his own.
"Stay with me tonight Ishmael?" she asked with open yearning.
"Are you sure Sarah? There might be no turning back."
"I'm very sure. I've never been more sure of anything in my life," she said and took his hand and led him toward her bedroom.
After spending an incredible night with Sarah, Ishmael finally asked her the following morning to marry him and she agreed. However, he had a special request to make of her. "Sarah, in Nietzchean society, it is the woman who proposes to the man. Would you mind humoring me and continuing the tradition?"
She smiled and said, "Of course. Why don't you come back tonight at five o'clock and I just might surprise you."
Khalid left to attend to his duties but he was on pins and needles all day long. He was trying to figure out how Sarah was going to propose to him. Finally when the hour rolled around, he was knocking on her door promptly. The door slowly opened and he stepped inside, surprised at the darkness of the apartment. Then he realized the only sources of illumination were the many candles placed around the large living room. He looked around and heard the door softly close behind him. He turned back around and saw Sarah, and what he saw took his breath away. She wore a very translucent negligee made with opalescent thread, which highly flattered her golden skin tones in the reflected light of the candles. In her hands she was holding an elaborately carved box of intricate and beautiful design. On her face she wore a sultry smile that promised him that all his wishes and hopes and dreams had at last come true. She slowly walked up to him and opened the box. In it were two marriage double helixes, one for him and one for her. She took his out of the box and gently put it around his upper arm while never taking her eyes off of him. Then she took her helix out and snapped it in place around her own arm. With that done, she said "Ishmael Khalid, out of Miriam by Khalid, will you accept the position of my husband and the father of our children?"
"I … I am very honored to. I will give you no reason to ever doubt your choice," he said solemnly. With that, he took her in his arms and kissed her and walked with her to their bedroom. Their honeymoon lasted two bliss-filled weeks and they spent most of it in their apartment.
At the end of the two weeks word got back to Sarah and Khalid that a suitable planet had been found for colonization. They both decided to go look at it and took the Starry Wisdom out of orbit from around Sinti. The scout who found the world piloted them through a horrific maze in the Slipstream. Everyone on the bridge and the rest of the ship held on for dear life while being buffeted by the eddies and currents of the Stream. Finally, when they re-entered normal space again, ahead of them they saw an incredibly beautiful blue-green world set like a jewel in the blackness of space. At this sight huge smiles were on everyone's face.
"All right everyone," ordered Khalid, "let's get teams down there to check out this planet. Let's hope it is as hospitable as it appears."
"Ishmael, I have been running scans of the planet since we first began to approach it and according to them there is no sentient life there, only plants and animals," said Sarah, smiling.
"That is good. Okay people, let's get moving."
The planet had four large landmasses and plenty of water on all four of them. The earth, when tested, proved to be very fertile. The explorer teams found no more than five species of animals that would be potentially dangerous to them. Overall the world was exquisitely beautiful with lovely lakes, rivers, and streams watering it. It was perfect.
When all the teams had returned to the Wisdom, a conference with all the team leaders confirmed that the planet was more than suitable for colonization and terra forming wouldn't even be necessary.
"Very well then. Sarah, when we get back to Sinti, send out the formal announcement to the survivor's of Andromeda's crew and their families and I will take care of the Wisdom's. I think we have found our home," he smiled.
Two months later all was in readiness. Sarah and Khalid were greatly surprised and happy about all the people who wanted to join them. They totaled nearly twelve thousand! Khalid knew that they would have to have a lot more ships to ferry all the people and supplies and will need to make a lot of return trips with each; which was a problem if they wanted to keep the secret of their new home's location. He called together all the captains of the available ships and told them how vital it was to keep the secret.
"The less people who know about its location the safer we will be. Please make sure that you emphasize to your families how vital this is."
"Aye sir," they replied as one and proceeded to their various ships to begin the loading and ferrying of supplies. It was decided that the supplies would be taken before all the people so it would be available on their arrival. It took almost four weeks to complete the job.
Finally it was time for the people to go. They proceeded in smaller groups so the absence of a lot of people wouldn't be noticed. This evolution took nearly six weeks to complete but they believed that the secret was safe.
When Sarah and Khalid arrived at last on the planet, on the final shuttle run, they were amazed at how quickly the engineers had erected the temporary shelters for all the people. A young man, named Marcus Valentine, walked toward them and said, "Captain Khalid, Dr. Riley, please follow me and I will take you to your quarters. It is ready and waiting for you," he smiled.
They walked with Marcus toward the center of the large settlement and entered their quarters. They were pleasantly surprised at how spacious it was.
"This is wonderful Ishmael. I sort of expected to live in a tent for awhile," she laughed.
"No, it is not a tent," he smiled back at her and took her in his arms. "We are finally home my Sarah," he said solemnly.
"And what better time than this to tell you, I'm pregnant my love. We are going to have a baby," she smiled at him with love in her eyes.
"Oh my love, that is fabulous news. A baby--a new baby for a new world. He embraced her again and said tenderly, "My Sarah, you have made all my dreams come true and I love you with all my heart. Even if my people think it is a trick the DNA plays on us so we would reproduce, I no longer believe that. I love you so much I can no longer imagine life without you. I believe we were destined for each other."
"I love you too," said Sarah, "but be careful, you almost admitted to believing in the Divine!"