MEN FROM MARS
By John - JHill90229@aol.com
and Jo - EnyaJo@aol.com
X Files Lyceum! A serious but lighthearted study of the X Files. Join us:
http://www.geocities.com/enyajo/lyceum.html
~~~~~
RATED: G
TIMELINE: Soon after Jersey Devil, Season One.
SUMMARY: Continuation of the Rod character and his hopes for
another date with Scully.
DISCLAIMER: We don't own Mulder and Scully. Heck, we don't even
own poor Rod. Mr. Chris Carter and company do but we sure like to
fool around with them.
~~~~~
Rod McClain slowly descended the stairs inside the vast, world famous
FBI building. During his lifetime he'd taken tours of the hallowed halls
of the J Edgar Hoover Building. The last time with his son, Scott and a
couple of his friends. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he
would actually be inside to meet someone who worked there. That
was another reason why a date with Special Agent Dana Scully was a
turn on. He was excited. They never did go to Cirque De Soleil, but
now they were going to go out for lunch.
The darkly lit, sort of unkempt basement gave Rod grave second
thoughts of walking farther. He had to be lost. The directions from the
woman at the information desk must have been wrong. He couldn't
find the door to Scully's office where she said it would be. What he did
find was a door with the placard that read, "Fox Mulder", and knew
that was the name of her partner. He timidly knocked on the door, in
case he was mistaken. The location seemed to be more fitting for a
supply room not the office of two Special Agents.
A voice called from inside, "It's open. Don't be shy."
Rod turned the doorknob and saw a dark haired man sitting behind
the lone desk in the cluttered office when he stepped in. Looking
around the sectioned off room, he didn't see any sign of the red
headed agent he had fallen for with just one glance when he came to
pick up his son at a birthday party.
Mulder stared at the intruder, wondering who on earth he was and
what he could possibly want. He politely asked, "Can I help you?"
"Uh... yes sir," Rod smiled. "Agent Mulder?" Mulder slowly nodded and
just stared at him, trying to place any hidden motive the unexpected
visitor would have.
Rod continued, "I'm... uh... here to pick up Dana Scully to take her to
lunch."
Mulder leapt to his feet, extending his hand, "Oh! You must be Ron."
"Rod, sir. Rod McClain," Rod smiled as he shook Mulder's hand, glad he
had the right place. "Nice to meet you. I've heard about you."
"Really?" Mulder guardedly asked. "All good, I hope."
Rod uneasily tilted his head and decided to not say anything. His one
date with Dana went south quickly because the guy was in a drunk
tank. Mulder suggested, "Have a seat. Look, Scully had to rush off on an
errand. She'll be right back."
Rod's forehead clenched, having not expected that she wouldn't be
here when he arrived. First she called a quick end to their one and only
date, then she went 'on an errand' when she knew he was coming? He
looked at his watch and saw that he was precisely on time--a
personality trait that he had honed to perfection over the years.
Mulder saw that Rod had to be second guessing himself nervous so
he easily slapped him on the back and said, "Look, Ron. Women... What
can you do? She'll be right back."
Rod pointed out, "It's Rod."
"Huh?" Mulder asked as he sat back in his chair. "Oh yes. Sorry."
Rod fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable. Mulder wondered what Scully
saw in the man. Sure he was nice looking, but Scully had to look
further into a guy than that. He had a steady job, Mulder assumed.
Scully hadn't really mentioned a lot about that date. Mulder admitted
to himself that he was curious. Damn curious.
Mulder picked up his coffee cup for a drink and asked, "What do you
do for a living?"
"I'm an accountant."
Coffee sprayed out of Mulder's mouth, and he quickly wiped off his
desk and shirt. "An accountant. Did you go all the way and get
certified?"
"Of course," Rod said, just a little agitated that accountants had a bad
rap and were easily mocked. There was more to life than numbers!
Well, almost. He mused to himself, 'Can I help that I'm a math genius?'
The last thing he needed was for a fed to look down on his profession.
Mulder stood and set his hands on his desk, "Let me give you a little
friendly advice, Todd. You know, a man to man suggestion."
"My name is--," Rod tried to say, but Mulder wasn't listening.
Mulder continued, "Agent Scully is one tough cookie. I'm not saying
that she's too much for a mere accountant to handle, but you probably
could use a little advice from someone who... shall we say has been
around the block a few times. You see, I understand today's modern
woman and believe me, Scully... Dana... is modern, post modern even.
You can't let on to them that you are weak and desperate."
"I'm *not* weak and desperate," Rod spouted a little too quickly for the
calm demeanor he was trying to convey. He scrutinized the agent
standing before him. FBI Agents had been reduced to stereotype also.
That was what surprised him about Dana Scully. She wasn't the banal,
dry, by-the-book geek behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
Mulder boomed, "You're not? You're picking her up at the office, man!"
Mulder grimaced, "Jeez, I bet you hold the door open for her, too."
"Well, it is polite," Rod argued.
Mulder smiled, "Trust me on this. Talk is cheap. Flirting is a sport. Think
back to our beast roots. The male/female game predates our ability to
communicate by vocalizations. It's what you do--or rather don't do--
that works." Mulder paced as he tossed out words, "Polite, courteous,
interested... Dump those words in your recycle bin. That stuff is
ancient history. You can't talk your way to first base any more. You
practically have to be hit by a pitch before you can get there
nowadays. Talk is medieval. Talk is for lonely mike jockeys like Howard
Stern."
Rod thought back to his one and only date with Dana Scully and
realized that there hadn't been a lot of talking. She couldn't talk about
her work, didn't seem interested in his. Maybe Agent Mulder was
speaking the truth. If he was, he'd better take his advice. All of his
advice. Mulder knew Dana better than he did.
Rod measured up Agent Mulder, wondering if he was right. He had a
sneaking suspicion that Mulder was trying to get him to fail in his
efforts to continue to date Dana. He tried to determine if Agent
Mulder even had a clue about how to succeed with women. To Rod's
eye, Mulder seemed kind of arrogant, lonely.
Rod inquired, "Agent Mulder, when was the last time you were on a
date?"
Mulder replied, "It's not the number of dates you go on that count, it's
the number of dates that you *turn down*. I have women calling me
all the time. Women giving me their phone numbers. Women not
responding to idle chit chat, but responding instead to my
disinterest."
Rod wondered if all of those women were from the same area code,
900, but he really should listen to the one who worked the closest with
Dana.
Mulder sat back in the chair again, stretching his arms and locking his
hands behind his head, "Trust me, Bob. It works every time. Think
aloof."
Rod slowly nodded as he had heard that theory before and that it
must have worked for someone. There was a how-to book written with
that very premise, called 'Dating for Dummies' or something. At that
moment, Rod couldn't remember if it had been successful for anyone.
He hadn't had a second date in so long, maybe Mulder was right. "Well,
thanks. Aloof. I'll remember it."
Scully opened the door to see her partner and date in the middle of
conversation. That couldn't be good for anyone. "Rod, I'm so sorry I'm
late. The line at the records room was exceptionally long this morning
and it took longer than I thought it would."
Rod immediately stood as soon as she had walked in, then saw that
Mulder had remained seated. He sat back down. "That's all right,
Dana."
Mulder mumbled, "Oh, brother," just loud enough for Rod to hear.
Scully asked, "So? You've met my partner, Fox Mulder?"
"Yes," Rod replied. He was still struggling with his impulse which was
to stand but somehow Mulder's glare pressed him even deeper into
his chair. He saw the folders in her arms but asked anyway, "You ready
to go?"
"Sure. I just want to go over a few things with Mulder about these, if
you wouldn't mind waiting."
Rod looked to Mulder, who slowly shook his head. "Ah," Rod said. "How
about if I meet you at the car?" He saw that Mulder cringed, so he said,
"I'll be in the car. You know it, the white Taurus? I'm on the third level
in the parking ramp."
"Okay," Scully was surprised, but said, "I know the car. I'll see you in a
bit."
Mulder gave him the thumbs up when he heard Rod say on his way
out, "Don't keep me waiting too long."
Scully saw Rod walk out the door, leaving it open. Confusion played
with her mind, but she figured that he was a busy man. She'd have to
hurry to get Mulder up to speed on the expense records so he could
do them while she was at lunch with Rod. She wished that Mulder had
a fraction of the accounting sense that Rod possessed, but nobody
was perfect.
Scully set the files down on the desk in front of Mulder and opened
the top one. "We have to explain why there's a spray painted X on the
highway in Oregon. The sheriff billed the bureau for it's clean up. You
want to take that one?"
Mulder sat back in his chair and quickly scanned the file. "How do they
know it was me?"
"True," Scully smiled. "Should we file it under 13?"
Mulder only quietly grunted, thinking back to the case of Billy Miles
and wondered if a follow-up visit wouldn't be a bad idea to see if he
had any further other worldly encounters. Scully didn't know how to
take the silent treatment. "Mulder, you've been acting kind of... I don't
know what to call it... aloof... lately."
"Aloof? Me?"
"Yes. You, Mulder. Aloof is no longer cool. Not that you'd know
anything about that."
"Oh and I assume that this Rod fellow is cool?"
"Well, maybe not cool but at least he'd *never* be aloof."
Mulder resumed shuffling the files on his desk to see what other
mischief he'd gotten them involved in. Also, wishing he could be a fly
on the wall of the restaurant later.
Scully looked at him, knew he was hiding something and asked,
"Mulder?"
"Hm?" He didn't even lift his eyes from the file, but wondered if his
Cheshire cat smile showed.
It did. Scully stated, "If you weren't armed Mulder, I'd knock that stupid
grin right off your face." She made a mental note to meet Rod at the
restaurant next time instead of meeting at the office. Not that she
didn't trust her partner, she just sensed that it would be better for
everyone that way.
On the way home from work later that day, Mulder found himself in a
foul mood. Scully had returned from a very long lunch--not that
Mulder was watching the clock or anything--and had refused to talk
about her date. She even claimed it wasn't a *date*, just lunch. Mulder
knew better.
When he got home he checked his messages. There were none. He fed
his fish and popped in a video. Sure, it wasn't Citizen Kane... but it
would have to do.
THE END
By John - JHill90229@aol.com
and Jo - EnyaJo@aol.com
X Files Lyceum! A serious but lighthearted study of the X Files. Join us:
http://www.geocities.com/enyajo/lyceum.html
~~~~~
RATED: G
TIMELINE: Soon after Jersey Devil, Season One.
SUMMARY: Continuation of the Rod character and his hopes for
another date with Scully.
DISCLAIMER: We don't own Mulder and Scully. Heck, we don't even
own poor Rod. Mr. Chris Carter and company do but we sure like to
fool around with them.
~~~~~
Rod McClain slowly descended the stairs inside the vast, world famous
FBI building. During his lifetime he'd taken tours of the hallowed halls
of the J Edgar Hoover Building. The last time with his son, Scott and a
couple of his friends. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he
would actually be inside to meet someone who worked there. That
was another reason why a date with Special Agent Dana Scully was a
turn on. He was excited. They never did go to Cirque De Soleil, but
now they were going to go out for lunch.
The darkly lit, sort of unkempt basement gave Rod grave second
thoughts of walking farther. He had to be lost. The directions from the
woman at the information desk must have been wrong. He couldn't
find the door to Scully's office where she said it would be. What he did
find was a door with the placard that read, "Fox Mulder", and knew
that was the name of her partner. He timidly knocked on the door, in
case he was mistaken. The location seemed to be more fitting for a
supply room not the office of two Special Agents.
A voice called from inside, "It's open. Don't be shy."
Rod turned the doorknob and saw a dark haired man sitting behind
the lone desk in the cluttered office when he stepped in. Looking
around the sectioned off room, he didn't see any sign of the red
headed agent he had fallen for with just one glance when he came to
pick up his son at a birthday party.
Mulder stared at the intruder, wondering who on earth he was and
what he could possibly want. He politely asked, "Can I help you?"
"Uh... yes sir," Rod smiled. "Agent Mulder?" Mulder slowly nodded and
just stared at him, trying to place any hidden motive the unexpected
visitor would have.
Rod continued, "I'm... uh... here to pick up Dana Scully to take her to
lunch."
Mulder leapt to his feet, extending his hand, "Oh! You must be Ron."
"Rod, sir. Rod McClain," Rod smiled as he shook Mulder's hand, glad he
had the right place. "Nice to meet you. I've heard about you."
"Really?" Mulder guardedly asked. "All good, I hope."
Rod uneasily tilted his head and decided to not say anything. His one
date with Dana went south quickly because the guy was in a drunk
tank. Mulder suggested, "Have a seat. Look, Scully had to rush off on an
errand. She'll be right back."
Rod's forehead clenched, having not expected that she wouldn't be
here when he arrived. First she called a quick end to their one and only
date, then she went 'on an errand' when she knew he was coming? He
looked at his watch and saw that he was precisely on time--a
personality trait that he had honed to perfection over the years.
Mulder saw that Rod had to be second guessing himself nervous so
he easily slapped him on the back and said, "Look, Ron. Women... What
can you do? She'll be right back."
Rod pointed out, "It's Rod."
"Huh?" Mulder asked as he sat back in his chair. "Oh yes. Sorry."
Rod fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable. Mulder wondered what Scully
saw in the man. Sure he was nice looking, but Scully had to look
further into a guy than that. He had a steady job, Mulder assumed.
Scully hadn't really mentioned a lot about that date. Mulder admitted
to himself that he was curious. Damn curious.
Mulder picked up his coffee cup for a drink and asked, "What do you
do for a living?"
"I'm an accountant."
Coffee sprayed out of Mulder's mouth, and he quickly wiped off his
desk and shirt. "An accountant. Did you go all the way and get
certified?"
"Of course," Rod said, just a little agitated that accountants had a bad
rap and were easily mocked. There was more to life than numbers!
Well, almost. He mused to himself, 'Can I help that I'm a math genius?'
The last thing he needed was for a fed to look down on his profession.
Mulder stood and set his hands on his desk, "Let me give you a little
friendly advice, Todd. You know, a man to man suggestion."
"My name is--," Rod tried to say, but Mulder wasn't listening.
Mulder continued, "Agent Scully is one tough cookie. I'm not saying
that she's too much for a mere accountant to handle, but you probably
could use a little advice from someone who... shall we say has been
around the block a few times. You see, I understand today's modern
woman and believe me, Scully... Dana... is modern, post modern even.
You can't let on to them that you are weak and desperate."
"I'm *not* weak and desperate," Rod spouted a little too quickly for the
calm demeanor he was trying to convey. He scrutinized the agent
standing before him. FBI Agents had been reduced to stereotype also.
That was what surprised him about Dana Scully. She wasn't the banal,
dry, by-the-book geek behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
Mulder boomed, "You're not? You're picking her up at the office, man!"
Mulder grimaced, "Jeez, I bet you hold the door open for her, too."
"Well, it is polite," Rod argued.
Mulder smiled, "Trust me on this. Talk is cheap. Flirting is a sport. Think
back to our beast roots. The male/female game predates our ability to
communicate by vocalizations. It's what you do--or rather don't do--
that works." Mulder paced as he tossed out words, "Polite, courteous,
interested... Dump those words in your recycle bin. That stuff is
ancient history. You can't talk your way to first base any more. You
practically have to be hit by a pitch before you can get there
nowadays. Talk is medieval. Talk is for lonely mike jockeys like Howard
Stern."
Rod thought back to his one and only date with Dana Scully and
realized that there hadn't been a lot of talking. She couldn't talk about
her work, didn't seem interested in his. Maybe Agent Mulder was
speaking the truth. If he was, he'd better take his advice. All of his
advice. Mulder knew Dana better than he did.
Rod measured up Agent Mulder, wondering if he was right. He had a
sneaking suspicion that Mulder was trying to get him to fail in his
efforts to continue to date Dana. He tried to determine if Agent
Mulder even had a clue about how to succeed with women. To Rod's
eye, Mulder seemed kind of arrogant, lonely.
Rod inquired, "Agent Mulder, when was the last time you were on a
date?"
Mulder replied, "It's not the number of dates you go on that count, it's
the number of dates that you *turn down*. I have women calling me
all the time. Women giving me their phone numbers. Women not
responding to idle chit chat, but responding instead to my
disinterest."
Rod wondered if all of those women were from the same area code,
900, but he really should listen to the one who worked the closest with
Dana.
Mulder sat back in the chair again, stretching his arms and locking his
hands behind his head, "Trust me, Bob. It works every time. Think
aloof."
Rod slowly nodded as he had heard that theory before and that it
must have worked for someone. There was a how-to book written with
that very premise, called 'Dating for Dummies' or something. At that
moment, Rod couldn't remember if it had been successful for anyone.
He hadn't had a second date in so long, maybe Mulder was right. "Well,
thanks. Aloof. I'll remember it."
Scully opened the door to see her partner and date in the middle of
conversation. That couldn't be good for anyone. "Rod, I'm so sorry I'm
late. The line at the records room was exceptionally long this morning
and it took longer than I thought it would."
Rod immediately stood as soon as she had walked in, then saw that
Mulder had remained seated. He sat back down. "That's all right,
Dana."
Mulder mumbled, "Oh, brother," just loud enough for Rod to hear.
Scully asked, "So? You've met my partner, Fox Mulder?"
"Yes," Rod replied. He was still struggling with his impulse which was
to stand but somehow Mulder's glare pressed him even deeper into
his chair. He saw the folders in her arms but asked anyway, "You ready
to go?"
"Sure. I just want to go over a few things with Mulder about these, if
you wouldn't mind waiting."
Rod looked to Mulder, who slowly shook his head. "Ah," Rod said. "How
about if I meet you at the car?" He saw that Mulder cringed, so he said,
"I'll be in the car. You know it, the white Taurus? I'm on the third level
in the parking ramp."
"Okay," Scully was surprised, but said, "I know the car. I'll see you in a
bit."
Mulder gave him the thumbs up when he heard Rod say on his way
out, "Don't keep me waiting too long."
Scully saw Rod walk out the door, leaving it open. Confusion played
with her mind, but she figured that he was a busy man. She'd have to
hurry to get Mulder up to speed on the expense records so he could
do them while she was at lunch with Rod. She wished that Mulder had
a fraction of the accounting sense that Rod possessed, but nobody
was perfect.
Scully set the files down on the desk in front of Mulder and opened
the top one. "We have to explain why there's a spray painted X on the
highway in Oregon. The sheriff billed the bureau for it's clean up. You
want to take that one?"
Mulder sat back in his chair and quickly scanned the file. "How do they
know it was me?"
"True," Scully smiled. "Should we file it under 13?"
Mulder only quietly grunted, thinking back to the case of Billy Miles
and wondered if a follow-up visit wouldn't be a bad idea to see if he
had any further other worldly encounters. Scully didn't know how to
take the silent treatment. "Mulder, you've been acting kind of... I don't
know what to call it... aloof... lately."
"Aloof? Me?"
"Yes. You, Mulder. Aloof is no longer cool. Not that you'd know
anything about that."
"Oh and I assume that this Rod fellow is cool?"
"Well, maybe not cool but at least he'd *never* be aloof."
Mulder resumed shuffling the files on his desk to see what other
mischief he'd gotten them involved in. Also, wishing he could be a fly
on the wall of the restaurant later.
Scully looked at him, knew he was hiding something and asked,
"Mulder?"
"Hm?" He didn't even lift his eyes from the file, but wondered if his
Cheshire cat smile showed.
It did. Scully stated, "If you weren't armed Mulder, I'd knock that stupid
grin right off your face." She made a mental note to meet Rod at the
restaurant next time instead of meeting at the office. Not that she
didn't trust her partner, she just sensed that it would be better for
everyone that way.
On the way home from work later that day, Mulder found himself in a
foul mood. Scully had returned from a very long lunch--not that
Mulder was watching the clock or anything--and had refused to talk
about her date. She even claimed it wasn't a *date*, just lunch. Mulder
knew better.
When he got home he checked his messages. There were none. He fed
his fish and popped in a video. Sure, it wasn't Citizen Kane... but it
would have to do.
THE END