Lavi looked down at his hands, callused and intertwined under his school desk. He could only think of the man sitting next to him with a scowl on his face. Currently that man was his best friend and his biggest crush, Yuu Kanda. The man, if you could call him that at the age of eighteen, was tall and handsome. No blemishes on his skin, his hair was long, long, long, and perfect. It was always tied up but when it wasn't Lavi knew what he would dream of that night.
The contradicting thing about Yuu Kanda was that he was an absolute and total dick. He didn't play well with others and he lacked any social media skills. Lavi had tried to rectify that one day but all it got him was a blank facebook page with an icon of his best friend glaring out to the audience.
Kanda glanced over at him and Lavi stopped picking the ink from under his nails. He didn't want Kanda to think he was dirty. Even if he was. Kanda watched him for a moment before returning to his notes. Lavi could tell he was troubled by something, since generally the other ignored him to focus on his school work. Lately Kanda had been moody, more so than usual, and Lavi pried and pushed every day to try and figure out why. Most of the time it ended in an argument and Kanda storming off.
Lavi wanted to be there for him though, even if he didn't want it.
The redhead wrote on the corner of his paper, tearing it off and passing it to his friend. In his perfect handwriting it was just a simple note, 'lets talk after class.' Kanda didn't have the chance to read it as the teacher snapped his pen down on the overhead.
"Lavi, Kanda!" the man started, " You know you aren't allowed to pass notes, especially when I'm going over your review material for the final. Or do you think you have it all down now?"
Well honestly Lavi did. This point in class he was just here for attendance but Kanda on the other hand was not so well off.
"No sir, um… please continue," Lavi answered before Kanda could say something offensive and stupid to the man. The teacher stewed in his anger a bit before moving on. Lavi hated how teachers all though their class was important, or their information vital to life. He looked over to smile at Kanda but stopped when he saw his note crumpled and the legendary death eyes glaring down at him. Lavi snapped his attention away to the front of the room, hoping the wrath of Kanda wouldn't be all that bad today.
The hope was in vain. After class Kanda pushed him up to a wall. He yelled and said things Lavi was trying to block out now but some of it just rang around in his chest. How tight Kanda's fist was in his shirt, the sheer hatred in his voice, those few sentences that were harsh and made to cut.
"I fucking hate you. I don't want to be you're god damn friend. I don't even want to know you. So leave me alone already."
He didn't yell those words he whispered them slowly. He meant every word and Lavi realized that maybe from the beginning Kanda was only putting up with him. He realized, as he lay on his bed that night, what he had to do. His chest felt like it was collapsing on itself, he had made the one person he cared about hate him. Bothered him so much, annoyed him so much, that he actually made Kanda's days worse. He didn't listen to the other's words always brushing them off as joking but he now knew it was all truth.
He would man up, Lavi thought to himself, and apologize. Leave Kanda alone and try to act like he wasn't entirely devastated.
As he slept that night his dreams were not of the dark haired man, but of himself. Alone and forgotten.