And as I fell, I felt Dean's arms around me. Steadying me. And no matter how much we denied it or how little I deserved it, he wasn't rushing to my side to save the world. He was helping me. He was there for me. Like he told me once, long ago, when I was a better person,
"Cas, I don`t care where you fall and I don`t care why, hell I don`t care if you jumped. I`m gonna be there to catch you. We do dumb shit, Cas, its our specialty. Its called life. And if you go down, you can bet your ass I`m goin' with you. Y`know Cas…" he gave me a very… Dean look. His eyes looked greener then they should have, considering the near-absence of light in the impala, parked outside the motel.
"I think I`m in serious danger of kissing you right now."
"Dean.." I looked into his eyes and saw the truth there- he wasn't joking. "I think… I think I would like that."
I saw his lips mouth, "Really" but never knew if he said the word out loud because the next moment his lips where on mine, his hands in my hair and tongue in my mouth, my hands on the back of his head, because god I wanted every delicious bit of that kiss, of him, leaning over my armrest and seeing how far down his throat my tongue could go.
After a while we eased up a bit, and he moved his mouth to the corner of mine, both of us still stealing kisses or love bites whenever possible.
"Didja learn that from the pizza man?" Dean muttered, kneading my lip hungrily. "Shut up." I moved my hand to his cheek and pushed his mouth onto mine. i pushed deeper, wanting him to do this with me again, wanting him to do more with me.
I found myself pushing the armrest out of my way, swinging my leg over to his other side, straddling him and leaning his seat back, then continued to kiss him. I laid his head back on the seat, gnawing his lips and tongue and grinding my pelvis into his, loving the feeling of him hardening so quickly. The feeling of knowing what we would do. What we would do tonight. I felt my self hardening against his thighs, and reached down to undo his jeans, feeling him go erect at my touch. I slipped my hand in and wrapped my hand around him, and he broke away, gasping, "Ah, Cas, don`t. I`m - you`re gonna make me-" I covered his mouth with my own. "Dammit Cas" he managed, then moaned through my lips as I began to jerk him off.
God if this is a dream or a sin don`t save me and don`t ever wake me up.
He fiddled with my belt for a moment before simply cutting it off. He slid his hands around my back, and down into my waistband and into my briefs, and I felt him release into my hand as he moaned in ecstasy. "Dean, take me. Dean…" I held my breath as he inched my slacks down, stilling with my mouth around his lower lip. He hadn't gotten far when someone manged hard on the roof of the car. "Hey Dean? You gonna sleep in there?" Sam opened the passenger door and blinked as we quickly retracted our hands from the many inappropriate places they'd ended up in. I rolled off of him and sat uncomfortably in the passenger seat. Sam simply turned and walked away. I motioned for dean to follow, suddenly awkward now that we where sitting here like nothing happened and wondering if maybe we'd been dreaming.
He took my face in his hands then, and I brought my hands up to hold loosely onto his forearms. he kissed me, gently, and chastely, but i enjoyed the sweetness and a sudden thought hit me- Dean. Winchester. Dean Winchester! Dean fucking Winchester (emphasis on fucking) just kissed me. And it wasn't lust in the kiss. I don't know what it was but it was new and different and it left me sitting dumbfounded long after he jogged off after Sam.
And i only then registered the last word, the promise. "Soon."