FREAKS IN THE CORRIDOR

Disclaimers:  I don't own any characters from Kids in the Hall or The Invisible Man.  I'm just doin' this for fun!

Notes:  Takes place post "The New Stuff" (for I-Man fans) and for the sake of the story, I'm going to pretend the AT & Love buy-out never happened (for Kids fans).  Rated R for language.

"Gentlemen, your latest mission should you choose to accept it, and you will," the Official began, cutting short the beginning of a protest from Darien Fawkes.  "It's a Fish & Game case, boys.  Eberts."  The Official turned to his assistant, who handed him two manila folders.  The Official held out the folders; Bobby Hobbes rose from his seat and took them.

"So what's it all about?" Darien asked skeptically.

"Holy shit!" Bobby cried.

"What?" Darien asked, looking through the case files.  All he saw were photos of American bald eagles and a vague reference to something called AT & Love.

"The very symbol of our nation is being threatened.  By Canadians, no less," the Official announced.  Darien stifled a laugh.

"It's not funny, Fawkes," the patriotic Bobby snapped angrily.

"Sure, it is," Darien chuckled.  "What do Canadians want with bald eagles, anyway?  I mean, Canadians?  They're practically our brothers!  It's not like Canada's in such a state of moral decay like it is here."

"Their reasoning for committing this crime is irrelevant," the Official retorted.  "All we know is that four American bald eagles were kidnapped from a wildlife reserve in northern California.  We traced the perpetrators to a smuggling ring working out of a corporation in Toronto."

"Is that what this AT & Love is?" Darien asked.  The Fat Man nodded.  "Do we have any suspects?"  The Fat Man shook his head.  "Well, this should be a piece of cake then."  He suddenly winced in pain and brought his palm up to his forehead.

"You OK, Fawkes?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, it's just another headache," Darien answered and exhaled.

"Headaches three days in a row?" the Official asked.

"That's why I'm going with you," a British voice said from behind.  The Keeper approached Darien and looked into his eyes.  "Hm."

"What?  It's not like I'm gonna go Quicksilver mad anymore," Darien protested.

"I know, but it's only been a short time since I administered the suicide gene.  We don't know what the long-term effects will be," the Keeper explained.

"Look, all I gotta do is keep the Advil handy, OK?"

"Keep the Keeper handy too," she smirked.

"I got no problem with that," Bobby smiled.

"You wouldn't," Darien said in a low voice.