"Luke, send over a cheeseburger and fries," said Lorelai plopping herself across from her daughter. "And also, I dunno, some sort of beverage. I suppose coffee will do," she added nonchalantly.
"You suppose, do you?" he answered from the counter. "You know, every sip of your beloved coffee has effects on your bowel movements. It . . ."
"Stop right there, Luke," said Lorelai holding up her hand. "Any sentence with the words bowel movements in it has got to be bad for business."
"I was just going to say that it relaxes the rectal muscles . . ."
"Aaahhhh. Lalalalalala," said Lorelai loudly, covering her ears with her hands.
Luke walked over to her table, crossed his arms across his chest and stared patiently at her until her wailing stopped.
"Did I just win that round?" he addressed Rory.
"Unlikely. It may appear that way at first. And I can see how you may be led into thinking that you have won that round, however . . ."
"Luuuuke?" said Lorelai, a small smile playing upon her lips.
"Yes, oh-unbelievably-insane woman?"
"I still want my coffee. Only you better cancel my cheeseburger and fries. Can't have bowel movements if there's nothing to move, ya know?"
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"Fine."
"Good."
Luke walked back to his counter.
"Score: Lorelai 58; Luke 0," said Rory.
"Only 58?" Lorelai frowned.
"58 so far this month," Rory elaborated.
"Aah."
"Here's your liquid laxative," said Luke plonking an extra large mug of steaming coffee in front of her.
"Wow, didn't even have to ask for the extra large mug," said Lorelai.
"Well savour it because you will NOT be getting a refill," he said walking away.
"Who wants a refill when you have an extra large mug?" she said to the retreating plaid-covered back.
Luke had done the math beforehand. Each extra large mug could house one and a half of the amount of coffee that a normal mug could hold. Since Lorelai usually only had one refill per visit, he was secretly depriving her of a quarter of her regular dosage.
*Lorelai 57; Luke 52* Luke thought to himself.
He was catching up.
"Hey Mary," said Tristan perching himself on the corner of Rory's desk. "Coming to class early, I see. Couldn't wait to see me, huh?"
Rory peered over her novel to see Tristan examining the blurb on the back of her book.
"Yeah, that's it," she replied. "Two whole days without you. I couldn't stand being away from you a second more than necessary. Why, oh why were weekends invented? Is there some weekend god who takes pleasure in mocking me? Don't even get me started on the god of public holidays. He's just plain cruel."
"I knew it."
"Sarcasm is lost on you, isn't it?"
Tristan gave her his trademark smirk as the bell rang and students started coming in. He quickly took the seat next to her.
Tristan was on the second week of his four rotations. Week one was when he sat directly behind her, the best position to admire her hair, and sometimes her neck if she tied her hair back. This week's position, where he placed himself so that she sat between him and the window, was good to catch wafts of her perfume as the occasional breeze came through. This was also the prime position to smirk at her from without drawing the attention of the teacher. Week three's position was diagonally behind her where he could stare at her profile unnoticed by her. The forth position was the seat directly in front of her. In this position Rory would be forced to look directly at his back for forty-minute periods, with no escape. He would sometimes put his hands behind his head and lean back in his chair or swing on the hind legs of his chair and rest his elbows on her table in the forth week position.
Today though, there was no breeze. The air was annoying still. In the last class of the day the rain started.
Tristan spotted her sitting in at the bench at the bus stop with no umbrella, getting rained on.
He looked at his watch. Rory's bus wasn't due for another ten minutes. He pulled up in front of her in his Beemer and lowered the window at the passenger seat.
"Mary, what are you doing?" he yelled at her over the rain.
"I like the rain," she replied.
"Get in."
"What?" she yelled back, thinking she must have misheard.
"Get in," he repeated. "I'll drive you home."
"Why?" she asked in disbelief.
"Because it's raining and you're getting wet and I have a nice warm DRY car."
"No thanks, I'll wait for the bus."
"Rory if you don't get in here in the next five seconds I'm reversing and going to spray you with that nice big muddy puddle of water over there in the process."
She hesitated before opening the car door and scrambling in, trying to transfer as little water from her clothes to the upholstery as possible.
"Thanks, but you know I live, like, a half an hour away from here right?" she said.
"I'll take you anywhere you want to go," he paused for a second. He caused sense Rory tensing up at his change in tone. "Except for Canada. I don't like how they talk. It's not right I tell ya." His heart lifted at the sight of the smile tugging at the corner of Rory's mouth and he relaxed.
"Luuuke," said Lorelai, coming into the diner.
"Insane womaaaaan," he said, mimicking her tone.
"Coffee please," she said, taking off her coat and taking a stool at the counter. "And a muffin. Double chocolate."
He placed a regular sized mug in front of her and started to pour.
*Wow, no lecture today?* she thought to herself.
"Why don't you try blueberry for once? Or apple cinnamon. Why always chocolate?" he started.
"Aaah, you were saving the energy for the muffin lecture," she said understanding.
"Pardon?"
"Pardon? Since when do you say pardon?"
"Since you said something about a muffin lecture and I said 'Pardon.'"
"Well why do you stock chocolate muffins if you don't actually sell them?" she asked.
"I sell them to everyone else, just not you," he answered.
"Luuuke."
"Not this again."
"Pleeease?"
He relented but he didn't smile as he relented.
*Lorelai 59; Luke 0* Lorelai thought.
*Lorelai 57; Luke 53* He had given her decaf.
"I can't believe you missed my exit!" said Rory as they navigated their way through unknown streets in the believed direction of Stars Hollow.
"I can't believe you made me miss your exit," Tristan retorted. "I thought you would tell me when to get off the freeway."
"Well, I assumed you saw all those signs. You know the ones, "Stars Hollow 5miles." "Stars Hollow 2 miles." "Stars . . .""
"Alright, I get it," he said taking a right, knowing it would take them further away from Stars Hollow.
The truth was, he thought half an hour alone was Rory Gilmore was not long enough. So he took it upon himself to ignore all exit signs and plough hopelessly through a maze of unfamiliar streets.
"It's okay, I got it covered," he said. "Relax."
"Relax? Tristan that's the same gas station we passed five minutes ago."
"Really? Are you sure about that?"
"Yes, now can we please stop and ask for directions? I'd like to get home before menopause comes along." Rory blushed at her own remark and noticed the smirk on Tristan's face.
"Just shut up," she said.
"I didn't say anything," he said holding his arms up in mock exasperation.
"Hey, keep your hands on the wheel," she said leaning over him to grab the abandoned steering wheel.
Tristan revelled in the sweet perfume of Rory's shampoo that he was deprived of earlier. One of her elbows was currently digging into his stomach but he didn't feel it. Reluctantly he took control of the car again.
"Hey, that's Jackson's truck," Rory said pointing to the vehicle that had just pulled out of the gas station. "Follow it."
"Aye, aye ma'am," said Tristan turning the wheel.
"How many days until the weekend?" Lorelai asked Sookie.
"Four if you don't count today," she answered.
"Great, that means three until dooms day."
"Dooms day?" Sookie questioned.
"Dinner with Emily."
"Aahh. Say no more. Here, try this. New recipe," said Sookie, offering a spoon of thick red liquid to her friend.
"Mmmm that is amazing," said Lorelai, licking her lips. "Who needs sex when you have . . .?"
"Neapolitan sauce," Sookie filled in.
"You're kidding me. That is Neapolitan sauce?"
"Uhuh. It's made from Jackson's hybrid tomatos."
"Hybrid with what, exactly?"
"I'm not sure. I think he said carrots. Isn't he amazing?" she gushed.
"Ooh yeah. Definitely. He should be touring with David Copperfield. He is that amazing."
"I know, isn't he?"
"Ok turn right at Monty," she told Tristan, pointing to the rooster statue.
He raised an eyebrow but put his indicator on all the same.
"It's the one with the porch swing," she said unclasping her seat belt.
He pulled into her driveway and pulled up the handbrake.
"Well, thanks again Tristan," she said reaching over to get her backpack from the backseat. She put her hand on the door handle when she felt Tristan's hand pull her back.
"What a minute Mary. Where's my thankyou kiss?"
Rory smile and for a second Tristan thought she might actually kiss him. Instead she reached in her pocket and pulled out a Hershey Kiss. "Thank you and here's your kiss. See you tomorrow."
She placed the kiss in his hand, her fingertips brushing his palm and she released the candy. They both quickly pulled back from the touch.
She exited the car and Tristan watched as she ran through the rain to her porch. He waited until she went into her house before pulling out of the driveway.