I lay feeling his smooth, warm back lying next to mine. Slightly smaller than mine; curved and soft as he breathes, making his back rise gently up and down against me. We always lie like this once in the depths of sleep, and I always wake slightly to find myself missing him.
I shuffle my legs and hips, trying to find more of his warmth. My skin feels his curved, tender buttocks against mine. I smile and sigh lightly in my sleepy consciousness. I am so lucky. So lucky to be able to feel his warmth like this even if it broke my heart to know that he might not be here in the morning. I could trace every single detail of his beautiful, tender body from memory. Every dip, every curve; so perfectly sculpted for my hands to worship, for my tongue to uncover and elicit soft whimpers from. Unravelling Sy was the most overwhelming thing I've ever done. I am the only one who makes him feel truly vulnerable, truly naked in every possible way... and I am exactly the same, solely in front of him.
I miss the feel of covering his body with mine. I turn over seeking more warmth, wrapping my arms gently around his delicate waist, pressing my cock lightly against his flawlessly smooth buttocks, curved perfectly for me to enfold. His smooth little lips mumble something incomprehensible in his sleep and they form a small, innocent smile. I can't take my eyes from his golden face as the street light highlights his features...Sometimes, I look at him and he's so beautiful, I can hardly breathe.
I nestle my head back down to the softness of pillows and my nose nuzzles gently into the small of his neck. Then he does it. He lifts his left arm, sweeps his hair gently to the side of his neck facing the ceiling and rests his hand back down on the duvet before him. It's as if he's laying himself bare for me, exposing his vulnerability and allowing me to access his nakedness. I feel such a powerful surge of love for him when he does this that I have to remind myself not to wake him up just to tell him how much I love him.
"I love you, I love you..." I mutter into the now bare back of his neck and a burning lump rises in my throat, I'm powerless to prevent the wet tears that glisten my eyes.
I love it when he does this, I think, feeling the sleepy thump of his slow heart beating through his back to my chest. Connecting us, an unbreakable bond stronger than any forces that have tried to prize us apart. Is he moving his hair subconsciously, or is he awake? I've never spoken to him about it. There is one way to know if he's aware of his actions or not, well, I think so anyway...
One night, in the spring, we had argued and his hair was cut shorter than usual...We were shouting at each other in one instance, toppling onto each other on the sofa the next...before I knew it we were making love like I never knew possible. So much anger, so much passion, so much yearning pushed into every thrust as I'd bounced him right there...having him on my sofa, wriggling and screaming for me underneath my body. Once we had collapsed naked and wet on my bed, he slumbered into an exhausted sleep within a few minutes and I cuddled up to his warm body. As I began to nuzzle into the warm nape of his neck, he moved his left arm and swept away his non-existent long hair from the back of his neck and laid his hand in front of him as usual. My heart skipped a beat at that moment and I felt like I could have burst with love and pain at the same time. Here laid this beautiful man before me, truly naked and vulnerable in a way only known between us and forces were still tearing us apart.
And here he is again. Back in my bed. After moving his delicious buttocks softly up and down my cock till I couldn't take it anymore and rammed him till he screamed with raw pleasure. Warming my body with his love and making me cry in his subconscious act of vulnerability. I try not to think about tomorrow, what pain it will bring as he tears my heart in two again. I'm going to lie here, breathing in his scent and nuzzling into the vulnerability at the nape of his now naked neck.