The One in Atlantic City
It was a few days before Monica and Chandler's wedding. Since Chandler wasn't having a Bachelor party, Ross and Joey had insisted that they come over and at least hang out and attempt to have some fun. The three of them had been talking for a couple of hours, and somehow they had managed to get on the topic of travel.
"So Chandler, you and Monica ever plan on traveling?" Joey asked as he sipped his beer.
"No, Joey." Chandler replied with biting sarcasm. "I think we're just going to sit up in this apartment for the rest of our lives."
"Well, that would be better than taking her to somewhere, like, I don't know, Atlantic City." Ross said with a giggle, referring to the time when Chandler had unknowingly kissed a guy in a bar. Chandler was about to interject, but before he could, Joey spoke up.
"Atlantic City?" Joey asked with a shocked look on his face. "Oh gosh, don't talk to me about that place. That city is full of weirdos!"
"And New York isn't?" Chandler asked him with a confused look.
"Ok, well I've only been there once. In fact, before I visited there, I didn't even know it was part of America. I thought it was its own little country, you know, like Vermont."
"Uh, Joey?" Ross tried to interject, clearly concerned about the fact that Joey thought Vermont was a country.
"Yeah, I know I need to brush up on my…what do you call it, geology?"
"Close enough." Chandler said with a sigh.
"Yeah, ok. The point it, I had a bad time in that city."
"You know, I'm pretty sure Chandler can relate to that." Ross said with a goofy smile on his face while Chandler gave him a glare.
"Ha ha, I don't think so." Joey said as his face went from smiling to a serious expression. "Chandler, you may have the monopoly on bad Thanksgivings, but I've got the worst Atlantic City story."
"Well, why don't you tell us Joey? After all, how bad can it be?" Chandler asked, remembering his Atlantic City experience and thinking that there was no was Joey could top that.
"Alright, fine." Joey said with a solemn expression on his face. "I had just gotten fired from a stage acting job. I was all bummed out, you know, so I went straight from my job to the nearest bar. I still had my stage makeup on and everything."
"Joey, getting fired from your job is something that happens to a lot of people. It's nothing to shudder over." Ross interjected.
"I'm not done yet, Ross." Joey answered while giving him a frustrated look. "Anyway, so I'd been sitting in the bar for a couple of hours when I noticed two really drunk guys in the corner. I can't remember exactly what they looked like, because I had been drinking too. But you could tell they were definitely wasted. So I'm watching them act totally stupid, when one of them starts looking back at me. It was pretty creepy."
"So, you're saying that this horrible time just involved a drunk guy staring at you?" Chandler asked sarcastically.
"No, the problem began when the drunk guy walked over to me. I say walked, but really he was stumbling his way over. I'm surprised he could stand up straight. Anyway, so this guy comes up to the table and starts chatting me up. I talked with him to be polite, but he wouldn't leave me alone. And I guess I gave him the wrong impression because next thing I know, the weird guy is kissing me!"
As soon as Chandler heard this, his jaw dropped. Meanwhile, Ross started laughing.
"It's not funny Ross!" Joey yelled. "The guy didn't stop kissing me for over a minute. And his friend in the corner just sat their laughing at the two of us. Eventually, I just pushed the weird guy off of me. He fell to the floor, and I got the heck out of that bar!"
Meanwhile, Chandler's mouth still hung open, but he finally began to speak.
"Ross…it wasn't…it wasn't…him, was it?" he asked in a panicked voice.
"Dude, I remember now!" Ross exclaimed between laughs. "I can't believe it, Chandler. You didn't just kiss a pretty guy. You kissed Joey."
"Ross, don't be stupid." Joey said in a correcting tone. "I didn't say Chandler kissed me, I said that some guy—oh my gosh, Chandler! You're the weird guy from the bar in Atlantic City!" he started to yell and stood up.
"I uh…pretty stage makeup and bad lighting, ok Joey?!" Chandler muttered as he stood up with Joey.
"Hehehe" Ross laughed as he rolled around on the couch. "Joey and Chandler sitting in a tree…"
"Shut up, Ross!" Joey and Chandler yelled in unison. As they yelled, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe came in the door from a girl's night out dinner.
"Hey, sweetie, what's going on?" Monica asked Chandler as she came in the door.
"Nothing…nothing at all." Chandler said in a mock-calm voice while Joey nodded beside him. Meanwhile Ross was still laughing on the couch.
"Are you sure?" Rachel interjected. "Because I feel like we interrupted something."
"Oh, Chandler, you're not upset about not having a Bachelor party, are you?" Monica asked him in a worried tone.
"No, that's not what this is about, I promise." Chandler said as he took Monica into his arms. Meanwhile, Ross stopped laughing long enough to speak up.
"Yeah, it's probably a good idea you didn't let him have a Bachelor party, Monica. If you had, who knows what would have happened with all the alcohol consumption. I don't know, there might have even been two guys kissing."
"Oh gosh, Ross, you're as bad as Joey." Rachel interjected while Joey gave her a glare. "What, have you boys given up on the watching girls kiss mantra, so now you're going to apply it to guys? And this coming from the man who married a lesbian."
"Oh, don't give him such a hard time for that." Phoebe interjected. "After all, he married two straight women after that in an attempt to balance things out."
Ross made a dejected face while Joey and Chandler pointed at him and started laughing.
"Whatever, dude." Ross answered smugly. "You kissed Joey."
"What?!" all three girls yelled in unison.
"Is THAT what happened in Atlantic City?" Monica asked with a shocked look on her face.
"Wait, Atlantic City?" Rachel asked, clearly confused by what was going on.
"Ooh, story time!" Phoebe exclaimed as she sat on the couch.
"Ok." Joey spoke up slowly. "Long story short…years ago, Chandler was drunk at a bar and he kissed me. But you can't blame him. I mean, it is a natural response to want to kiss a face as cute as mine. Plus, I mean look at his dad. Chandler could have turned out a lot weirder than he is."
"Thanks Joey, for that impeccable defense." Chandler said bitterly while the three girls and Ross giggled madly.
"Oh my gosh, this is worse than the Jellyfish story!" Monica said as she kept laughing.
"Are you kidding?" Ross replied. "It's even funnier than any of the stupid things I've ever done!"
"Oh really, Mr. Space Mountain?" Chandler interjected, which caused Ross to get a frustrated look on his face.
"Space Mountain?" Joey asked.
"You mean like the Disney ride?" Rachel added.
"Oh, I've heard this one before…it's good." Phoebe replied. "Go on Chandler, tell the story!"
"Well, Ross and I were at Disneyland, and Ross decides to eat some bad tacos right before we get on the space mountain ride. There was a real blast off, if you know what I mean."
Rachel and Joey, who had never heard the story before, laughed hysterically. Ross, meanwhile, stuttered for a bit before coming back with an even better comeback.
"Really, Joey?" Ross replied. "You know, if you guys think that's so funny, I'm sure I could come up with some secrets of yours to share that people might find pretty amusing."
"Like what?" Joey said sarcastically. "You mean that time that you came up and kissed me, Ross?"
Everyone else in the room gasped. Ross started stuttering.
"That…that was to help you out for an audition, Joey!" Ross exclaimed, clearly embarrassed.
"Yeah, true. Except didn't you kiss me after the audition?" Joey said smugly.
"Tribianni-1, Geller-0!" Phoebe exclaimed. "Ross, I'd suggest a strong return comment…maybe mention something about his bedtime penguin pal, Hugsy!"
"You have a…bedtime penguin pal?" Ross asked between fits of giggles.
"Hey! Hugsy means a lot to me, ok?" Joey said, clearly hurt by the turn of the conversation.
"Yep, as opposed to being able to sleep without a stuffed animal meaning a lot to you." Chandler simply couldn't pass up the opportunity to sass Joey. However, he would soon regret it.
"Oh yeah, Mr. "I paraded through a classy restaurant wearing nothing but panties?" Joey shot back.
"Ah…ah…" Chandler replied slowly. "Really, Joe?" while the rest of the gang laughed hysterically.
"I'm sorry, Chandler, but I had to take the focus off of me! I mean, what other crazy story could I have mentioned? I mean, I suppose I could have talked about that time that Monica…"
"Don't you say it, Joey!" Monica yelled in his face.
"Why, what are you going to do about it?" Joey asked with a smirk.
"Oh, I don't know." Monica said mockingly. "Do you want to come in for some lemonade, maybe?"
"Oh…" Joey said, taken aback by Monica's blackmail. "I, uh, I gotta go…" As he said it, Joey quickly left Monica and Chandler's apartment.
"Gee, I wonder what that was all about…" Rachel said, clearly confused.
"Oh, that sounds familiar." Phoebe interjected. "Yeah, Monica, I think you mentioned something about that. That was that night that me and Ross almost…" She was interrupted by a death glare from Ross.
"Oh, uh…" Phoebe said, clearly taken aback by what she almost revealed to the group. She then got up and headed towards the door "Yeah, uh, I think I have to see Joey about something."
"And I have a, uh…dinosaur thing to do, so, yeah." Ross added, quickly getting up to leave along with Phoebe.
As the three of them left, Monica, Chandler, and Rachel gave each other confused looks.
"Did she just say that she and Ross…almost…" Chandler asked.
"I think she did!" Monica exclaimed.
"Well, that's weird." Rachel said, clearly interested by Phoebe's revelation. "Although it's not as weird as that one time I thought about hooking up with Chan…" Rachel looked at the two of them, realizing that she had been talking aloud and not merely thinking to herself. Monica and Chandler both stared at her, causing her to panic. "Chan…you know, like Jackie Chan" she said with a giggle, trying to pass it off. However, she realized quickly it wouldn't work. "Oh, did Ross say the dinosaur thing was tonight? I've got to go too." She then quickly got up and bolted out the door.
"Well, that was an interesting end to the evening." Monica said after Rachel left.
"Agreed." Chandler said with a weird look on his face. "This was stranger than any bachelor party would have been."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello readers! Sorry it has been so long since I posted. This semester was crazy for me, but I'm on summer break now and working on some writing. Anyway, I wrote this story a while ago, but I wanted to post something so I finished it up today. Please tell me what you think of the story (both compliments and constructive criticisms are always welcome). Let me know if you would be interested in seeing more Friends fanfic stories from me. Also, I am working on some M*A*S*H stories right now, so if you are interested in M*A*S*H, be sure to check them out. Below is a list of the various episodes of Friends that I refer to in this story.
"The One with Rachel's Assistant" (S7, E4): This is where both the Atlantic City and Space Mountain story are told.
"The One where Joey Tells Rachel" (S8, E16): In this episode we learn that Joey thinks Vermont is a country.
"The One with the Jellyfish" (S4, E1): This is where Monica's jellyfish story originates from.
"The One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding" (S2, E24): This is where Ross kisses Joey to help him practice for an audition.
"The One after the Superbowl, Part 2" (S2, E13): This is where Chandler parades through a classy restaurant wearing nothing but panties.
"The One where Everybody Finds Out" (S5, E14): This is where we learn about Hugsy.
"The One with the Flashback" (S3, E6): This episode is where Rachel fantasizes about sleeping with Chandler, Ross and Phoebe almost sleep together, and Joey "comes in for some lemonade."