Pathetic. was what he was. Sitting outside, ignoring everything what happened around , actually…there was nothing tha happened. He was alone. He was alone and felt lonely. And that was probably what he had deserved for behaving this riduclous. For allowing to get this offensive. For letting the rage and the despair take the upper hand.
"You…you are s-such a selfish a-asshole!"Had that really been necessary? Yes. At that moment it had felt right, but now everything had changed. Green locks sticking to his pale face, his red coat soaked and dirty. He couldn't stand rain, the wetness, the feeling this element gave him when his clothes and hair were a mess. Nevertheless he had perched himself in the pouring rain.
And he didn't care.
He should have known better.
Left alone to cry, it was almost impossible to tell the bitter tears from the raindrops which were running down his cheeks.
"Tell me, what is the point of doing this every night?!"He was addicted. He was blinded, perhaps. A long time he would have done everything to get a taste of his personal heaven. He had been patient. And it seemed like he had been rewarded at last. But now he found himself still waiting.
"I can't keep touching you like this…"Palms now covering his visage, head lowered. The thought that someone could see him didn't cross his mind right now.
"If it is just temporary bliss…"He was aware that he had been exaggerating. But that was him…sometimes he exaggerated. Because he had a way softer core than anyone would possibly expect him to have. And who could blame anyone for thinking that he didn't allow himself to feel at times? His epression looked like he had no emotions at his disposal at all. Though the truth was…he was caring. And sensitive.
He couldn't hear him cry. And he was not sure whether he wanted him to or not. "I won't tell anybody about the way you hold my hand." A promise he had given the elder one at the beginning of their relationship. By now, this promise was not necessary anymore. Everyone knew that they were a couple and none of the two felt awkward with that knowledge any longer. But there was still one problem left. Perhaps not a problem, but…something Freed noticed he was not longer able to bear. Not right now. Silence. And he felt cold. Not because of the rain…
However, the silence was soon to be interrupted as a person began to approach him. A familiar voice. A familiar female voice. A voice he should recognize immediately, but he was lost. And as the vox finally reached him, he flinched horribly not lifting his head to look up, though.
"What are you doing here you dork?!"
No response. Not even a shrug.
A raised eyebrow was what he earned. One of his characteristic gestures and it probably would have made him smirk…when it weren't for the current situation.
"Has the cat got your tongue?"
He could hear how hands found their way to hips and he could literally feel this typical gaze on him. But he still didn't manage to release couldn't allow to let somebody see him in this condition. To see his pathetic tears. Even though the person in front of him told him so many times that it was good and necessary to show emotions.
Sometimes he wished he could just kill his feelings. So he couldn't get hurt anymore. Maybe that was also the reason why he was as reserved as he was. "You are alone and you will stay alone." A voice which had haunted him for a long time…that was before he found Fairy Tail, though. He did what he was told to do at all times. But no one ever thanked him. And he didn't know why.
As a child.
"Freed."
She had noticed. Of course she would…they were always saying that they are annoying each other. They teased each other. And they got mad about the others behavior. But every trait of this demeanor showed that they cared for each other. One hand wandered to his arm, grabbing it, seeking for support.
"Yes, that is my name. Thank you for reminding me." A poor attempt to put some sarcasm in his voice…but it was weak and shaky.
"Don't be ridiculous. What are you doing here? You hate it when your hair and your coat get messy!"
Yes. By now she knew him very well.
"…I couldn't sleep." It wasn't a lie. He would probably just toss and turn like the sea. Nevertheless it was no proper explanation.
"Do you think I'm dumb?"
Of course he did not. Because she was anything but dumb.
"No."
"Oh, you are so infuriating!"
"Yes I am."
"Don't start this again, I-" But her voice died down and there was silence again, if only for a couple of heartbeats. And he knew why she had interrupted herself. Because he had agreed with her assertion. A faint smile found its way onto his hidden countenance; so many stubborn mages could be found at Fairy Tail.
Slowly looking up at her now, his greenish blue tear-strained eyes rested on the blond celestial mage and he even managed to keep that weak smile for a few seconds before his features distorted and he had to avert his gaze again. That had the woman blinking at first although she had sensed already that something was wrong. To see him like this. He looked like a picture of misery. However, she knew as well how hard it could be to talk to the rune mage…so she was not sure at all what to do or even to say at first.
"Don't go, please."
She was not planning on leaving. But if she stayed she had to learn what had happened. Otherwise it would not make much sense…the green haired male was awkward with hugs and such, and so was she. Biting her bottom lip, she glanced around one time before her dark brown hues landed on him again. She had been on her way home, it was very late…and actually she didn't want to catch a cold.
"…Tell me…did something happen?"
But she sat down next to him, eyes straight ahead. Hands folded. Recalling the situation which had transpired a few hours ago, the male clnched his fingers and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't know how he should explain it.
"It's ridiculous…"
This educed an exasperated snort from the blonde. Did he really have to start this way again?
"I know you can be a huge drama queen at times, but you look just horrible."
"…You don't have to remind me that I am a complete mess…."
"Fine, then talk to me. You know you can talk to me."
True words. And he couldnot define the undertone which lingered in her vox while she spoke. Was it disappointment? Indignation? Both? Something else. She seemed to be upset because he was so…oh well. His honor and his dignity were hurt already…and perhaps he had to learn to leave these two aspects aside at times. Because he actually he knew that feelings were way more important. Nonetheless he sensed the awkwardness which was arising. He feared that she wouldn't understand. That she would confirm his impression that it was ridiculous at last.
"It's about Laxus."
Now he had said it right out in the open. Progress. Oh, he must sound like a little girl right now and he had expected a comment from the celestial mage but she remained silent. A sign that she was willing to listen to him. Gulping, Freed squinted at her to see if she was glancing at him but she still stared ahead.
"…We had a row…"
Wow yes, he really sounded like some little girl with lovesickness right now. A heavy sigh and one hand would reach up to brush his wet bangs aside which were covering the majority of the right side of his face most of the time.
"I need you!"He would rather sacrifice his feelings than losing him. He didn't want this to happen. He didn't mean it. And now Laxus was gone and he was alone. Deep inside he was aware that the blonde would return…or that his humble self would go and search for him.
The banging of the door as the dragon slayer had rushed outside.
The jutsushiki mage had frozen on the spot, not believing that it had gotten out of control and it took him a while until he knew what motions were again and he ran after the other without any second thought. But there was no sign of him.
The dull sound as his body fell to the cold ground.
And he felt like he couldn't breathe. What had he caused? What had begot him to behave like this? He had always thought that he was able to bear it. To live with it. Apparently he had been wrong…had it been to much in the end? Did it affect him more than expected? Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, he forgot that Lucy was there. To busy with keeping more tears to escape his turquoise eyes. Until he felt something touch his shoulder and as he looked up, sniffling, he spotted the celestial mage's gentle hand, comforting him silently. And he felt bad. How could he even have considered that she would turn him into ridicule? She was not that type of person, not at all.
"I love you!"Suddenly falling onto her, his tousled her covering the entirety of his face again, Lucy blinked in astonishment and shifted awkwardly on the cold stone they were sitting on. " …Uh…Freed…please…" She was not used this kind of behavior from the male, not at all. The woman felt uncomfortable very fast when it came to any kind of touch or conversations about love matters…actually, just like him. And maybe this knowledge was the main reason because she just let out a low sigh and placed her hand on his back, if only very hesitantly. And the two of them remained in this position for a while, the sound of the rain pattering and the sobs which could be heard every now and then echoing.
"To…to want to hear…to want to hear that you…that you are loved…is that…is that t-too much to ask for?" His voice was not more than a whisper as he raised it and the female had difficulites with understanding him, but she did and had to blink again. What did he mean? Was there something she had missed? "Freed…what…" He really sounded desperate and hurt. It was unmistakable that whatever exactly had occurred between the two males must have been touching…obviously for both of them. Otherwise Laxus wouldn't have escaped from the situation.
Freed did not question the feelings Laxus nourished towards him. He knew that he loved him. But somehow…somehow it had begun to hurt that he never told him that. That he never heard those three words. Laxus had his own ways in showing affection and he was more restrained whenever it came to showing affection in public. When the were alone, it was different. But even if they were alone…when he told him that he loved him. He received no equal response. He had always thought that he was used to it and that Laxus would simply need more time…but he had been wrong. He didn't know why it was of this high importance to him to hear these words from the dragon slayer. These three words. Apparently, three words could be mightier than everything else.
"I need you!" "I love you" "Don't leave me!""Is it…is it too much?", he repeated silently and interrupted Lucy's and his own train of thought again. Doe-like eyes widened for some seconds, the blonde's features surprisingly became more gentle and she began, again very hesitantly, to stroke his back. She had experienced that this gesture was very soothing…and easing was certainly what the jutsushiki mage needed at the moment. You complete jerk. Slightly tilting his head, that thought made her smile sadly at him. Everything about him was just…she was not capable of describing it. He looked totally different and there was something very different…Attempting to figure out what it was, she soon noticed that it were the lightning bolt-shaped strands which missed. They were dropped, almost as if these two locks would mirror his mood. And only this little observation stung her somehow. Oh, the two of them had their issues there was no denying that. But seeing him like this was not what she saw gladly.
"No. No it's not."
Speaking in a low voice, she continued to comfort him and it seemed to work since the sobs he gave away became quieter and lessened. "You know, the two of us talking about love matters…possibly doesn't lead to much most of the time." Because both of them were aware that it was none of the topics they could deal with best. "It's absolutely normal. And nothing you should feel ashamed for.", she added and noticed how he tensed up for a brief moment. Yes, it was obvious that he was ashamed of the entire current scenario. "There is no need to explain every detail of what had happened to me, Freed. Because I can tell you that everything will be fine.", she continued. "You are two entirely different personalities and I guess arguments are inevitable." A pause. "….He does love you, right?" Another pause in which she gave the other a chance to be responsive. And she received a small nod indeed what made her lips curl into a slight smile again, though this time no sad one. "See?" Stopping the movements she performed with her hand on his back, brown hues kept sticking to the individual. By now, her hair was just as soaked as his and now she noticed that she actually froze, no wonder.
A sigh escaped her soft lips and she ran her fingers through her wet her while she thought about what she should do next. She was pleased that it looked like she had managed to calm him down, currently he was completely silent…though still looking like a picture of misery. It was very dark and it must have been in the dead of night, however the rain didn't seem as if it would cease for a while. Batting her eyelashe's she turned her face again to look at him, her head still resting against her and his breathing had steadied again. "Just…think of Gray and Lyon. They have similar issues, haven't they? And they seem to argue way more often than Laxus and you do. All of you just are…total fools." Tsk,why did all the men in this guild have to be such tsunderes? "You are a good wife." That was the comment which made the green haired male move at last, tired cyan shades glancing at the woman next to him. "…..I know." A smile just as tired as his eyes.
"What? No snappy comment, Mister?" Heh no, the celestial mage was not going to let him get away with that. After all, this kind of conversation managed to raise spirits very often. And perhaps that was what they needed now…apart from maybe an umbrella…well no, it was to late for an umbrella anyway…but maybe a house. Though actually none of them took notice of the rain anymore.
"Besides…I heard…", she began while her lips formed a mischievous smirk. She could bet that she knew how the rune mage would react to her next statement. And it was kind of entertaining everytime afresh. "…I heard that the reunions…are said to be even more passionate." Albeit she was fairly innocent as far as this topic was concerned; she read a lot and this time she allowed herself to release such a comment. And as expected she was remunerated with the rune mage's crimson face. Heh, he even looked kind of cute with that tousled hair and that flustered expression on his visage.
"…I…this-this is not the right time to think about t-that!", he blurted out stuttering what caused the blonde to laugh at last and it left the man even more confused. Mumbling something to himself he averted his eyes and awkwardly scratched his cheek while the frisky laughter continued to resonate.
"What? Is there a problem? Mrs. Booger-hair-Justine?"
"You….You are unbelievable."
"And you will always be an infuriating hilarious dorky know-it-all.", she responded immediately still in a playful manner. And he had already parted his lips to retort, but he closed it again and smiled at her instead. Since she hadn't expected this reaction it all, barely noticeable astonishment was created on her face and before she could even react to his voice she was tugged into a hug. "Uh–what—…!" But it didn't take her long until she understood and her features turned more gentle once again. Freed's ways of showing affection were different as well and a hug was certainly something he did not distribute for no reason. Such a complete dork indeed. Yes, I cherish you as well. "That still doesn't mean that you have the permission to touch me every time you feel like it!", she stated though her voice was nearly as gentle as her facial expression.
"But of course not."~
Thank you once again.