Happiness running through his veins, an enormous feeling of bliss he had never experienced before. What had he done to deserve this? What did he ever do to deserve this man, to be allowed to feel him near him, to have the permission to call him his own? It was uncomprehensible for the rune mage and he would probably keep asking himself these kinds of questions. Not because he was searching for mistakes he himself had or to explain why the blond deserved someone better than him - no, because he was this happy. The bond they shared was something special, something only meant for the two of them, something what could not be replaced by anything else.
His right hand buried in blond spikes, gently pulling the other closer until their lips came into contact. Surprisingly soft lips he had. And he would never forget the moment he touched these lips the first time - the time he became addicted to them. And he would always be. Every single time they had touched, every single second they had spent together had been like a part of his own personal heaven. Never before had he even dreamt of something like this to happen and yet they were one now. They were happy. Seeing the other smile more often made stomach twist and turn with glee. And to be the reason…to be the reason for the other's smile…it was incredible. Just incredible.
{ I will come back. }With him he felt like he was home. No matter what, he knew he would always be there. Right? And he knew that the other was well aware that he would never leave his side either. No. Only over his dead body. They could talk about everything - Freed offered all the attention he had. He would help the other male as well as he could. Would sacrifice all of his oh so precious time. Yes…he would do anything for him. He wanted to make Laxus feel comfortable. He wanted to take the fears and doubts away from him…because he knew that the lightning dragon had an insecure soul. The negative feelings he nourished, the struggles his past caused him. Yes, each and every of their guild mates might have forgiven him but that didn't meant that everything was forgiven and forgotten. Letting bygones be bygones…that was much easier said than done. And those who haven't experienced the same situation as others were eithe able to judge nor had they a right to even think of judging them. Then again…that was part of human nature. Judging.
{ Believe me. }Oh and how dorky he could actually be. Only thinking of such moments made his lips curl into a wide smile, every now and then a quiet chuckle would escape between his lips followed by a head-shaking and maybe even one sinlge hearty laughter. Thinking of moments like these was , again, something he would not be able to describe with words. Was that the meaning of feelings…? They were stronger than anything else, yes..he knew. Even as 'Master of Words'. Words…were just words…at some point, anyway. The soul and especially the heart were parts of a being which could not be described by anyone. Utter miracles. Mesmerizing. These parts had nothing to do with logic at all - it was just…being oneself. And most of the time it was better to listen to your heart and not to your mind. Perhaps that also was what made Laxus allow himself to show this dorky side he had. Perhaps it was just when he was with him? Either way, the jutsushiki mage held it dear. Tis attribue of Laxus' character. Every single part of his character. Him. Forever and ever. Because he was the one he wanted to spend his entire life with. The one he never wanted to lose to anyone or anything. Because he loved him.
{ I promise. }And yet everything was gone. The only thing that was left was the empty space next to him. The cold space. The space he desperately wanted to be taken again. Not by anyone…but by the this one man. The one man no one would ever be able to replace. The man who meant the world to him. The man who was gone forever. Bitter tears, just as cold as ice rushing down his face, wetting his cheeks as cyan shades stared at the left side of his bed. Laxus' place. Cyan shades…cold. His heart felt cold. His soul felt cold. Anything he touched felt cold. Because everything w a s cold now that he was gone. The one he would have sacrificed his beating heart for. And there Freed was…left with a broken soul and a shadowed soul. Despair and darkness wrapping their wings around him everytime he remembered Laxus' growl. Indifferent but typical facial expression. His laughter….his smile. At first he had attempted to tell himself that Laxus had gone to a place he had to go…a place he would go someday too…That he had gone there where he would be awake even though his eyes are closed. That he was home….But he was gone.
.
Legs giving in, letting him fall to the floor.
More bitter tears would be shed.
Empty place. Empty heart.
Turquoise eyes staring at his hands, watching the teardrops touching his skin.
Sobbing would fill all the moments he was alone.
Because he had lost everything.
{ Even though I knew I'd die I still wished I had turned around to say one last goodbye. } { The only choice for me to keep you alive was to give my own life. } { Now my heart is not beating anymore, but I hope you know that I will always care. } { I will always be there. } { I will always love you…Freed. }His world shattered. Heart ripped into pieces. As all he wished was to be by his side again.
"L-Laxus…I love you..."
…don't leave me alone…"