Disclaimer - I don't own them though I really wish I did.
Also song I used was "Never Let This Go" by Paramore. If you would like to see the lyrics then go to (http: // www. /lyrics/paramore/neverletthisgo .html) WITHOUT spaces
Sam's heaven was Dean's hell, just to go ahead and put it out there and through his memories, through his heartache, God, the only thing that could save them, save the world from the fucking apocalypse, Isn't going to help. He's just going to sit on His ass and watch as His 'children' wither and burn away to nothing and Dean could guarantee God would stand outside, face outstretched towards His heaven and feel raindrops of blood cleanse His skin clean.
God, in Dean's opinion, was an evil, apathetic SOB.
He had learned from Cas that maybe God had enough decency in him to care that the world was ending, that maybe he could care about who would die and who would burn and all the pain every last fucking person was going to go through before they would die.
Dean thinks everyone has been cheated somehow and the apocalypse is the big punchline.
When Sam and Dean had been revived again, they first changed their bloody tee-shirts into cleaner ones and disposed of the ruined garments in the trash, and when Castiel appeared, he cursed God. He cursed his own Father and called him a 'Son of a Bitch.'
It was almost shocking to see an 'Angel of the Lord' give up his faith in God, but under the circumstances, Sam and Dean weren't really shocked at all.
Castiel gave Dean back his amulet, now useless and no longer apart of him, and left in a soft rustling of feathers. Dean, now numb and utterly alone in his soul, went towards the door, to his car to save people who he knew would die in the end and fight for something he knew they wouldn't win.
Before he went outside, Dean stopped at the door, shoulders haunched and defeated, before dropping the amulet in the trash like it was nothing. Dean could feel his brother's eyes on his back and could sense his growing despair, but Dean couldn't bring himself to care, not even a little, because today he knew. He knew God wouldn't help him and he knew from Sam's memories, their relationship was trash.
Now Dean's at his car, Sam following slowly behind, and Dean is one-hundred percent sure that Sam got the amulent out of the garbage, and Dean's decided that he wont say anything.
He knew Sam could never let it go.
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