A/N: I know, I know. You all want to crucify me. Another chapter story? Even though I have so many started... and unfinished? Blame my indecisive, self-disciplineless self. My apologies. Heck, blame Rowanashke. She inspired this lovely, tragic story.

I figured it would be a good way to remind you all I don't write sappy romances. I don't write PWP. I don't write romance. I don't write drama. I write tragedy. I write stories that make you cry so hard you pass out from dehydration. I write stories that fill you with pity and shame. I write stories that make you hurt, and bleed, and cry, and sob, and scream.

Because I write tragedy.

So have your kleenex ready.

When He Leaves Me

Prologue

"Because you'd be a hostage. Because anyone who wanted to hurt me would try for you first. Because you'd lie awake every night I was on a mission, wondering if I was coming home. Because when I was hurting, aching from the aftermath of a vicious mission, I'd hurt you without even meaning to, just trying to get away. Because love is a weakness, a chink in my armor I can't have. Because when I finally am too slow, you'll be standing by the memorial, staring at my name carved in the marble."

-Kakashi Hatake, Never Alone by Rowanashke

She lay on her side in the bed, eyes weary, dark circles under them. Kakashi couldn't meet them – he had caused the lines on her face, the circles under her eyes, the nightmares that made her wake screaming every night.

He kept his head down, crouched on the window sill. He'd intended to sneak out unnoticed, but inwardly, he knew she would wake up. He knew it would come to this.

She propped herself up on her elbows, chewing on her lower lip. "You're leaving." It wasn't a question. She'd been expecting this. Little things he did and said every day had hinted at it. It was never a matter of if, but when. Still, even having known it was coming, she hadn't been prepared for how much it hurt, and he wasn't even out of the house yet.

His jaw clenched, and he nodded, trying to steady his breathing. He felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack – his heart racing, his whole body trembling, the effort of suppressing tears making his eyes burn, and his throat swollen inside, choking him.

She sighed, and her exhaustion showed. "What do you want me to tell Kori?" She asked, running a hand through her hair. She glanced at the clock. Midnight, on the dot. Couldn't he have waited till morning? Let his son say goodbye?

"He's a baby," he forced out, the words sounding harsher than he meant. She flinched. "When he asks someday, tell him I died." Because I did. When I leave you two tonight, I'll die inside. I'll never feel anything good again. He swallowed, clearing his throat. "Tell him I loved him, would you?"

She nodded. "I will. I love you, Kakashi. We both do." Her voice cracked when she said his name, a sob catching at the back of her throat. She closed her eyes, tears brimming in her eyelashes. Kakashi looked away. But he had to do this. He had all ready stayed to long. He had drawn this on much longer than he should have. He was lucky nothing had happened yet. That's a lie, he thought. She'd all ready been kidnapped and tortured once before. Because they knew he was ANBU – and that he loved her. Somehow, they'd found out. He'd finally tracked them down, only to find them dead, his wife laying in a pool of their blood, her hands coated in the meat she'd torn out of their throats, half-dead. And completely crazy. It'd taken years for her to recover enough to stop attempting to hurt herself, ashamed of what she'd done.

He opened the window, letting the breeze wash in. She shivered, laying back down, pulling the blankets closer. Kakshi sighed, she looked so beautiful like that – hair splayed across the pillows, eyes drooping closed with sleep. "Goodnight, darling."

She smiled sleepily. "Love is the answer, darling, to you and me. Love is the answer, darling, to everything. Suffer the lonely, to come to me. I'll teach them love, darling, the answer to everything…" She drifted off into sleep, her voice trailing off at the end of the song. It was the lullaby she'd sung to him when he came back from a mission, hysterical and broken. It was the lullaby she sung to their baby – only two months old now.

Kakashi walked back to the bed, the wind from the open window blowing his hair in his face, and allowed himself one more touch. He brushed her hair from her sleeping face, not even relaxed in sleep, and he felt the guilt in his chest give a painful twist. Smiling brokenly, he kissed her on the forehead, and left.

She never saw him again.

X.x.X.x.X