A/N: Another one shot brought to you by Leah! This will actually (hopefully) be a series of one shots all about camping! Yay! I know it's random, but at some point I began to wonder how different groups of people would react if they went camping. Team Mustang got to go first! Lucky them! I'll try to add more chapters with different characters and their camp adventures. Any requests on who should go camping? It can be anyone from FMA! :D And just so you know, I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist (that was the disclaimer in case you missed it).

Ed walked up to Colonel Mustang's office, holding the paperwork he needed to turn in. The suit or armor that was his brother caught up just as Ed was knocking on the door.

"You're knocking?" Al asked in disbelief. "You usually just burst in."

"The door is locked."

"The door is never locked," Al said.

"I know," Ed replied. "Something isn't right here."

"Are you two looking for the colonel?" Ross said, walking up with Brosh at her side.

"Yeah," Ed said. "Where is he?"

"He went camping with the rest of his team," Brosh supplied.

"Camping?" Ed asked incredulously.

~Earlier that day~

"Hey, Roy!" Hughes burst into Mustang's office with a wave. "I just had the best idea!"

"What is it Hughes?" the colonel looked up, trying to find any excuse not to focus on the piles of paperwork at his desk.

"Well, my daughter Elysia just got back from camping with her friends! Do you want to see the pictures? She is so cute! Just look at her!"

"Get to the point Hughes!" Mustang was somewhat annoyed with himself for choosing to listen to Hughes instead of doing the paperwork.

Hughes put the pictures away, looking annoyed. "Well then Mr. mumble mumble . . ."

"What was that?" The colonel was about to kick Hughes out. Sure they were best friends, but he got annoying after a while.

"Well, sir, I was just thinking that maybe we should all go camping. Apparently it is good for building friendship and helping improve teamwork. And Elysia said she had so much fun!"

Mustang stared at Hughes. "Camping?" he said incredulously. "Alright, who put you up to this? Is Havoc trying to get me back for stealing his girl again? This is the lamest prank ever."

"Actually, sir," Hawkeye walked in, "I agree with Hughes. I think our team needs something like this to become more united."

"No way, Lieutenant," Mustang said bluntly. "Not happening. No matter how many of you think this is a good idea."

"But we all agree it is a good idea," Havoc said, walking in, followed by Breda, Falman and Fuery.

"How many times have I told you people not to creep outside my door?!" Mustang thundered, disturbed by their sudden appearance. "And we are not going camping!"

"But it would really be helpful!" Hughes objected.

"I think it would be fun," Havoc said.

"Ladies," the colonel fought to control his voice, "we are not girl scouts. We are soldiers. Soldiers do not go camping unless a battle is involved. Is there a battle involved? No. So we are not going camping." Mustang sat back down at his desk without another word.

"How on earth did you people talk me into this?" Mustang said as he drove up to the campsite. They had to take two cars to fit everyone and all their supplies.

"Oh, come on Roy," Hughes said happily. "This will be fun! Just enjoy yourself."

"How can I enjoy myself when I am surrounded by idiots?!" Mustang demanded.

"Hey, look at the bright side," Havoc said. "There isn't any paperwork out here!"

"Whatever." The colonel returned to sulking.

They all got out of the cars when they reached the campsite. Mustang surveyed the premises, immediately going into his colonel mode.

"All right, ladies," he said in a booming voice. "If we are going to camp, we are going to do this right. Hawkeye, secure the campsite! Eliminate any dangerous persons or objects you find!"

"Sir?" Hawkeye was confused.

"Do it! If we are camping I want us to be safe and aware of our surroundings!" Mustang thundered.

"Sir!" Hawkeye took out her gun and ran off, still slightly befuddled.

"Falman!" Mustang roared.

"Sir!" Falman stood at attention.

"You and Fuery go identify any poisonous plants in the surrounding area! There will be no poison ivy issues while I'm camping!"

"Yes, Sir!" The two saluted, running off.

"Havoc and Breda, you will help Hughes put up the tents!"

"Sir!" The three remaining soldiers saluted.

"I will make the campfire." Mustang smiled to himself, pulling out his gloves. At least he could enjoy himself a little bit in this nightmare.

Riza returned just as the sun started to go down. "There was nothing suspicious, sir," she informed Mustang, who was carefully arranging firewood in the pit.

"Better safe then sorry," Mustang said. "Almost ready to start the fire. Go help the others put up the tents, Lieutenant."

"Yes, sir," Riza left with a salute. When she reached the others, she found that Havoc, Breda, Hughes, Falman and Fuery were all sitting there, bored out of their minds.

"What happened?" she asked. "I was only gone for about twenty minutes."

"Well he's been stacking that firewood for twenty minutes," Havoc said. "We finished the tents ten minutes ago and he hasn't given us anything else to do. He is just sitting there, trying to get the wood stacked just the way he wants it. It is really boring."

They all jumped up when they heard a snap. They looked over at Mustang, but saw no flame. Mustang cursed loudly and snapped again. They saw the flame in the air, but the wood didn't catch. Mustang swore again and started snapping like crazy, flames filling the air, but not staying in the pit.

"What's wrong with it?" Fuery asked. "Why won't the wood burn?"

"The wood has too much moisture in it to catch flame," Falman supplied, sounding very scientific, even with the simple answer. "In other words, it is too green."

"Shouldn't we tell him?" Fuery looked over at the others.

"No," Havoc said lazily, leaning back and smirking as the colonel continued to alternate between curses and snaps. "This is more entertaining than anything else we've done today." He flicked his cigarette butt into the wet grass next to the tent they were all sitting around.

"Hey, Havoc!" Hughes yelled. "Be careful! You might start a forest fire!"

"You're worried about me when we brought that along?" Havoc pointed at Mustang, who was still trying to light the campfire.

"It's people like you who burn down the forest!" Hughes pointed out.

Suddenly, there was a huge explosion that shook the ground, knocking everyone out of their camp chairs as flames went everywhere.

"Well it isn't my fault the forest caught on fire," Mustang grumbled when they were back in the car.

"Yes it is, sir," Riza was driving because Mustang was too put out by the whole fiasco to manage driving. "It was your alchemy that filled the air with fire. Trees burn, sir. I hate to break it to you."

"Some trees do," Havoc amended cheerfully, stifling his laughter. "If all trees did, the colonel here wouldn't have freaked out or almost burned down the whole forest."

"Shut up!" Mustang yelled. "I knew camping was a bad idea."

"And you thought I would burn down the forest," Havoc smirked. "Good thing it started raining, or we would have been in trouble."

"Aww, cheer up Roy!" Hughes called from the back seat, where he sat next to Havoc. "At least my pictures survived! Now we can admire my daughter all the way home!"

Mustang banged his head against the window a couple times.

"What are you doing, sir?" Hawkeye asked.

"I want to either kill myself or somehow give myself brain damage. We are never going camping again. Ever."

There it is! I hope you liked it! Reviews are much appreciated! Stay tuned for next chapter, when the homunculi go camping!

And remember, only you can prevent forest fires! Somewhere, Smokey the Bear is crying thanks to this fic. Bye! :D