Kanan hadn't been to the school since her own graduation. It didn't feel right anymore. Those memories that were made only a short two years ago were still so tangible. Something she knew she couldn't shake if she ever were to go back. She didn't need those kinds of regrets, and she'd long since resolved not to dwell on them. Chika was a damn good distraction after all.
"You missed another graduation." Chika stood in the doorway to Kanan's dive shop, cheeks puffed and arms crossed. A single braid still in her hair accented a more formal dress. Out of place, but cute, Kanan thought. "First, you don't come to your own girlfriend's graduation, and now you don't go to the first-years graduation either."
"I had to work." Kanan wiped sweat from her forehead, greeting Chika with a broad smile. She couldn't help it, even when Chika was upset, the pouting was so rare and adorable that she'd savor it. "And, technically you weren't my girlfriend when I missed your graduation. So I don't think that's fair."
"Fine, you missed your childhood friend who eventually became your girlfriend's graduation. Is that better?" Chika asked, taking a step closer, playful eyes betraying her serious frown.
"No." Kanan scratched the back of her neck.
"Well, it's not like it matters anymore." Chika's frown shifted to a smirk. "Plus, I know when we go to the after-party Dia is going to be happy to hear you missed watching Ruby get her diploma."
Kanan sighed. "I'm dead, aren't I?"
"Yup." Chika's smile perked up. Reaching over, she took Kanan's hand into her own and tugged toward the door she entered only a minute before. "So let's go and get your funeral over with. I'm pretty sure almost everyone else is already there."
Kanan swallowed down a lump, tightening her grip on Chika's hand as she was tugged out the door. "Can't I at least change first? I'm still in what I wore for work."
"We're already late because of you." Chika fell back to Kanan's side, hands still together. "And if we wait any longer, Dia and Riko will kill me, too."
"Then why are we walking? I could have driven us there."
There was a reassurance to Chika's grip that was a calming balm for Kanan's restless stomach. Everyone would be together again, and Kanan could say with certainty that it had only happened 3 times since her own graduation. They were always accompanied by that same longing anytime she so much as passed by Uranohoshi. Longing might not have been the best word. Fear or regret fit better, Kanan would sometimes make herself believe, but only in those long days without Chika.
"Because I wanted to walk with you." Chika leaned in for a quick peck on Kanan's cheek without so much as a glance toward random passersby.
"You're such a sap," Kanan said, cheeks flushed with fingers tickling Chika's.
"Only with you." Chika didn't lose a step, striding forward with the same cheer and exuberance.
Kanan allowed for a second of silence. The sun, the waves, and Chika's hand enough to fight back anxieties of a coming reunion, but it was always temporary. "You said that almost everyone else was there, Who's missing?"
"You couldn't get away from practice for even one day, so she couldn't make it in time. College sports sound so intense, but she shines so much now" Chika said. "She'll be here as soon as she can. She sent me a message saying she was on the way."
"She became something special, didn't she?" Kanan said, eyes darting from the sidewalk to the always comforting water. The feeling she now understood as regret ingrained itself in her head.
"Yup, everyone did." Chika's eyes sparkled as she went on. "Riko's performing in front of thousands of people in Tokyo. Dia and Mari are going to take over all their families money when they graduate. Even the first-years all got into the same university together."
"Really?" Kanan asked.
Chika nodded.
"I thought Yoshiko's grades weren't going to be good enough to get into the same place as Maru and Ruby?"
"They weren't at first," Chika said, a group of recent graduates passing them with a wave. "But, Ruby and Hanamaru spent months tutoring Yoshiko so they wouldn't split apart. It's really amazing they were able to do it. I'm a little jealous of them."
There it was. Kanan's fear of what they had not being enough. Chika had dreams, and why shouldn't she? It was discussed before their inevitable confessions, and Chika would deny it as fervently today as that day a year ago, but Kanan was never so sure. What could Chika have accomplished if she'd been able to follow You and Riko? It was a question that would never be answered, and Kanan knew that was her fault.
With a sweaty palm, Kanan adjusted her grip of Chika's hand. They passed the bench they shared their first kiss, the halfway point between each other's houses. Kanan couldn't look for too long. "We have some amazing friends."
"We sure do, and I'm so proud of all them." Chika pressed in closer to Kanan.
"I wonder-" Kanan stopped herself as she looked over to Chika. Eyes so knowing that the question didn't have to be asked. Kanan was an open, well-read book to Chika. Most people were.
"You wonder what we could have done if we went to college?" Chika finished without a missed beat.
"No." Kanan looked away, her steps slowed and voice grew weak. "I wonder what you could have done."
Another silence, this filled with dread. Their only fights had always stemmed from this same topic. Kanan took deep breaths, knowing an earful would come like always. They were enough to subdue that anxiety, but not quell it . It was awful to not believe in Chika's word, but how else could she reach that potential that Kanan saw clear as day?
Chika tugged Kanan to a stop, house only a block or two away. "You know I hate it when you talk about this."
"I know." Kanan kept an arm's distance with their held hands. There were tears, but if she didn't look at Chika, they couldn't fall. "But you know I can't help it."
"You can." Chika tugged, trying to turn Kanan's attention. "All you have to do is believe me when I tell you that I'm happiest here with you in this small little town by the ocean."
"But why?" Kanan turned her head, vision blurred but voice level. "I know we've talked about it, but you could have done something amazing just like Riko and You are."
"You could have too, but it doesn't matter." Chika unlaced their fingers and walked to Kanan's front. Her face inches from Kanan's with steeled eyes. "I think the two of us being here together is more amazing than anything I've ever done. I would never have thought you'd love me, but you do, and I'd never trade any of this for anything. Not to go to Tokyo with Riko and You, not to have another year with Aqours, and definitely not to go to college. My happiest times are with you now."
Kanan's arms were around Chika's shoulder without a second, or first, thought, pulling tight. Sniffles were muffled into Chika's hair. Confidence was found in the way Chika cooed I love yous into her ear. A smattering of kisses to her neck and cheek kept an out of place smile on her lips. She loved Chika, but that was never a question. Now, she could believe Chika like she'd always wanted. A whole year and Kanan could say she was comfortable in Chika's arms.
"Let's go." Chika pulled back, wiping tears off Kanan's cheek. "The inn's only a little bit further, and I know that everyone's waiting."
"Alright." Deep breaths kept Kanan's emotions in check, but it was hard not to pull Chika back in despite it all. "We wouldn't want to keep anyone waiting."
"Are you still scared?" Chika slipped her hand back into Kanan's.
"A little." Kanan smiled. Her heart still a beat too fast, palms still moist with sweat, and there was a slight lurch of her stomach, but the regret wasn't there. "But I know I have you."