Disclaimer: I don't own Dogma or anyone or anything affiliated with it, and have no intent of ripping off Kevin Smith's ideas for some kind of monetary gain. And that's that.

Hope ya like it! R&R please.

Chapter 1: Water
Why She had to stick him with these menial tasks, Metatron couldn't answer. But here he was, in a smallish bedroom, contemplating whether to even wake the being before him.

He cleared his throat, though it made no difference, and began.

Behold the Metatron, Herald of the Almighty, and Voice of the one true God. He was about to continue, but the figure in the bed caught his attention. She looked to have gone rigid. He hesitated, and the girl sat up; her eyes widened as they looked him up and down, but she said nothing. Metatron smiled in what he hoped a non-threatening manner, and slowly began to regret speaking at all. ... Hullo. Still nothing. It was a simple enough job, just play guardian angel for a while, but he had gone and woken her.

Regaining his composure, he decided to go on, I am the Metatron, Herald of the Almighty, and Voice of the one true God, Chancellor of Heaven, and on, Lesser Yahweh, he was enjoying the new freedom of getting to go on this long, one who sits by the throne of God-

The people in my dreams don't usually ramble on this much. The girl seemed to have surprised even herself with such a bold statement.

Meanwhile, Metatron's boastful rant had been shattered. His expression turned to a tetchy sneer. I am not a dream.

No... I'm beginning to think you aren't. This is weird.

Metatron rolled his eyes. Admittedly, it was weird.

As I was saying- he tried to go on as regally as possible,-I am the Metatron, Herald of the Almighty-well, you know. Any questions?

She looked incredulous at the mere suggestion. You're also a stranger who happens to be in my bedroom late at night, she said sharply.

That was the usual lack faith setting in. He decided it best to reveal the wings, even though the massive things all but threw out his back the last time he brought them out. Light as a feather' they were not, weighing over half as much as the angel himself. Although, the girl seemed to relax a bit at seeing them. Plus, he liked what they did for his overall appearance.

You could've done that a while back, you know, especially with the void of the fiery entrance. Ooh, she happened to remember something about this particular being. Someone ought to give the lass a theology degree.

I'll admit, it is nice to have a token entrance, but I do go for a little subtlety once in a while. He put his hand on his hip. This statement happened to be in direct conflict with the seraph's choice of flashy Italian suit and jet-black hair, but for the most part that was overlooked.

You do seem a bit hip for an angel.

Yeah, well you try the clerical robes and sashes sometime. I happen to have a slightly different view on fashion.

The girl brought her knees up closer to her and continued, Well it isn't every night that I get awoken by the appearance of a celestial being. Which brings me to: What are you doing here in my room at this hour?

Mercury, is it? The girl nodded with a curious expression. Well it's not just Saint Nick who knows everyone's names now is it? You see, child, I'm sort of, er... filling in... for whoever it is that gets this lovely little job every other night.

Isn't that a little... beneath you, then? It wasn't meant to be, but the statement was quite bothersome.

he kept calm nonetheless, I suppose it is. At least someone else agrees with me. The idea that he would be doing the work of a lesser choir wasn't dear to him, so he distracted himself with another thought. I figured I may as well let you know I was here. He trailed off slightly and looked around the room. It always felt odd just watching people. He was just beginning to admire the room's dark-raspberry trim color when he turned back to the girl. She looked about to speak-or something far worse-

She began to yell out, but Metatron snapped his fingers swiftly.

Sweet Jesus, wake the whole block why don't you?!

He saw that she was sufficiently quieted and snapped again. Metatron was almost to the end of his fuse, which hadn't been the longest fuse to begin with.

the girl apologized reluctantly. But you should understand it would be even a little naive of me if didn't once try to call for anyone. Especially seeing as I was still half asleep for a while there, and this isn't the most normal occurrence. Metatron gave a small smile at the thought. Him, a mere hallucination? Not bloody likely. I must say, you're quite convincing, and I'm not all that cynical. Sooo....

He moved toward the side of the bed and leaned against the edge. Is it safe to say you're convinced then?

Yes, I believe it is. There was a moment of silence as he effortlessly concealed his wings again, until she said, Nice meeting you then.

Little as he liked having to converse with these beings at times, Metatron had rarely been in a situation where a mortal had reasonably peacefully conceded to his materiality. The whole thing would be made rather pointless if he left now. What, that's it? You don't have any more questions, anything else to say now, while an angel sits before you?

... I'm pretty sure I've covered everything. Eh? She looked at him quizzically. Besides you seemed pretty quick to quiet me down a minute ago.

He folded his arms across his chest. Frankly, I'm a bit disappointed. Everyone's always so eager to drill me for answers, I suppose I've begun to expect it. I should probably find this a nice change.

Umm.... While you're here d'you mind getting me some water? Some nerve she had after all.

His brow raised slowly. Water, eh? Coming up. And with that and a snap of his fingers...

They were standing outside on one of the city's streets under an awning, the rain falling gently in front of them. Mercury looked up at him.

Quite the literal angel, aren't we?



A/N: R&R please. More to come.