Started: March 2017
Finished: July: 2017
A/N: I thought to add an authors note but that would just consist of my long winded ramblings and excuses as to why I ruined the story. Light's not in it because well, I teleported him to the Peruvian Amazon where he will trip and fall in to a river and get attacked by red bellied piranhas. Any flames will be redirected to roast the American Netfilx version.
L sat at his computer eating a chocolate cake roll. Rem appeared silently in front him and seemingly waited for him to speak. Looking up to his visitor, he pushed away from his computer.
"What is it, Rem?" L asked softly. She was still silent. He reached for another cake roll.
"I don't want any harm to come to Misa. Is there any way she won't…die?" His hand froze in mid air at her question.
"You think I'm going to kill her?" he asked attentively.
"You say you want her brought back here. You say she may not survive."
"You can see her life span…." Rem nodded. L looked down regretfully. "I can't help that. I don't want to harm anyone, but I need to put an end to Kira."
"Aren't you listening? It will all be for nothing."
"I offered her amnesty if she'd turn in the first Kira, and she disregarded it. I feel at a loss of things ending well in her case."
"If she gives up ownership of the note, she will lose all of her memories of being Kira's partner. You let her go once before. Could you do it again?"
"I need her memories to get a confession to bring her and kira to justice."
"No you don't. You already know who kira is. While you are loyal to your earthy courts and questionable morals, thousands have died."
"What does a Shinigami care if thousands of people die?
"I don't, but you're supposed to. You're supposed to be the good guy, different then Light."
"I'm so far gone that I need a Shinigami to be my moral compass."
"My apologies. I don't want to get off to an unpleasant start, but it will all be in vain. She will die for kira."
"You keep saying that. How do I know you're telling me the truth? And I'm not a good guy."
"You know I'm telling the truth. You're the best there is, aren't you? That's why Light wants you dead, because you found him out like no one else could've."
"Not entirely. I can't read you like a human. You don't breathe, you don't have a heartbeat, you don't shake when you're nervous, all tell tale signs of being deceitful. How can a shinigami care for a human?" L inquired. Rem was silent but figured being stand-offish would not help her case.
"We're not that different from humans, we look for amusement, we have friends, we get bored, we can die," she said, trying to be courteous, with out giving away too much.
"How can you die?" She was horrified at how quickly he asked that question. Again, she tried to be accommodating to prove that she was being honest.
"If we don't take life. We write the name of the human in our death note and the humans' remaining lifespan gets added onto ours."
"Are there other ways for you to die or be killed?"
"Please, Kira cares nothing for her and is using her. He put her in this situation to…." she stopped.
"Go on," he pushed gently. "For me to analyze the situation thoroughly, I NEED to know everything that you know."
"You know everything now."
"Rem…" L pressed, knowing she was holding back. "Please," he implored. She gave in reluctantly.
"I made a promise," she began, not entirely wanting her loyalty to come off as threat.
"Go on."
"When Misa's family was killed, Gelus, a friend, watched over her like an adoptive parent. One day he saw Misa's time was running out. Gelus wrote the name of her would be murderer in the notebook, saving Misa's life but causing him to relinquish his own life in the process. I then…choose to look after her." L looked at her in surprise.
"So, a shinigami also dies when they save a humans life. They're capable of saving a life," he repeated to himself. "Remarkable."
"You seem more fair and capable of a degree of care, not like…Light. I wish to secure Misa's life and happiness, at the same time, try not to have to end my own in the process. She's…more then this. I thought it best if she could loose her memories, not be that person anymore, then could she go on living in peace. Please. She would still remember her love for Light. I wish I could take that from her too. He could still be the death of her and there's nothing I can do about that. She'd die for him. If I save her once, I can't save her again." L's large dark eyes that were fixed on Rem, became sad.
"Maybe you should allow her." L suggested gently.
"How could you say that?"
"You want her to be happy." His eyes were downcast, not able to look the creature in the eyes, for the hopelessness he was explaining. "It's is your mission to watch over her, like it's her mission to watch over Kira. He sent her here, to her doom. Even if she doesn't die here Kira will kill her because that evil doesn't share power. Also, Kira will soon be caught, at any expense, and he will be executed." Rem listened silently and knew Ryuk would get tired of his plaything in time, either way. "She will be devastated when he's gone. It will likely make her kill herself. Humans are very fragile creatures." L paused attentively. His words echoed back to what Light had said about humans being fragile. "Consider to allow her now, while he still lives, allow her to be happy and give her life for the one she loves instead of later when she's with out you and with out Light." Rem was crushed into silence. There was a lengthy stillness between them. L remained with his hand on his knees and his head bowed, knowing there was nothing that he could say to relieve the tragedy in the air. A simple 'I'm sorry' was enormously inadequate, so he avoided going back to his computer and gave all he could give, a moment of silence.
"It's unthinkable," she said. "However true."
"I will attempt to get a confession." She looked at him, horrified.
"Why? Trying at a confession is useless since she'll choose to be martyr." Rem was in disbelief. It was like all the progress she thought she had made had been burnt away.
"Exactly. I will fake an attempt to get what I need and," he paused. "It will result in her finally resting in peace," he finished delicately.
"Fake?" If she could fall to pieces she would've right then and there. Still concerned she asked hesitantly, "How are you going to do that? I don't want her to suffer."
"Have a conversation."
"You won't-"
"I'm not going to harm her. I give you my word."
"This still seems wrong," she said.
"This outcome is her best 'happy ending." he said and she nodded.
Upon entering, Watari took Misa's luggage.
"Hey-" she protested. L pushed away from his computer and stood.
"Hello Misa," he greeted. "You look pretty today."
"Huh?" She asked, confused and surprised. Ryuzaki wasn't usually like this, well he was once but that didn't turn out so well.
"I'm glad you could come," he turned and walked to a counter top.
"Wh-where's my bag?"
"I don't like clutter," he said with his back to her. "Sit." She did as she was told, slightly upset that she had lost her bag. She wasn't very bothered; she figured she'd get it back before she left. Watari had disappeared from the room leaving eerie quietness.
"Where is everyone?" she asked.
"Day off," L stated simply. He placed cups down in front of them. And sat across from her. "Have some hot chocolate," he said looking up at her. He noticed her staring at the top of his head. Damn those shinigami eyes, he thought. "What are you looking at Misa? Have I sprouted horns?"
"Huh? Nothing." she said, quickly looked him in his eyes.
"Have some hot chocolate," he repeated.
"I'll get fat," she said. He smiled a little. "Why did you want to see me?"
"Why did you come back? I'd have thought you'd rather run for the hills then come back to this place."
"You're not the Boogeyman Ryuzaki," she smiled. "And I don't have any cause to be apprehensive because you said you don't suspect me any more." He gave her a gloomy stare.
The silence grew between them. What do you say to someone who came here to kill you? What do you say to that someone who will fail and was brought to their doom instead? What do you say to someone in their last moments? He wasn't great at small talk and he often found Misa quite zany. He was surprised she was being as quiet as she was. It was as if she was waiting for something. Getting anxious, she chanced a look over his head when she thought he wasn't looking 'Lawliet' she read. 'What a strange name. Just as strange as he is.'
"Why did you bring me here?" she asked again.
"I did ask for a date," he said chewing on his thumb. She blushed at the thought of Light and L fighting over her.
"But I'm with Light." He smiled a little at how crazy she was. "Not that you aren't cute."
"Very well, let's talk about how cute am," he proposed dryly, wanting to break the silence and ease into a conversation with the girl.
"Huh?" Shocked at his giving into how silly she can be. "Is Ryuzaki serious?"
"As serious as a heart attack." His eyes bugged out when he realized the irony. Misa laughed then smiled in her usual cheerful zany manner.
"Ryuzaki's funny too. Hmm," she looked him over. "The way you sit is cute. Your bangs falling in your eyes. Ryuzaki doesn't wear trendy clothes or have funky hair. He doesn't wear make up like many boys do. He's what they call a natural beauty." She nodded to accentuate her words. He was at a loss of what to say. At a contrast to her usually annoying, stupid statements, she seemed sincere, even kind. L had never been called handsome or anything of the like before. He didn't think looks where that important, at least not the social standards of beauty. And, at any given time, looked like he just rolled out of bed. However, like any human, a part of him was pleased he wasn't disheveled in an off putting way. He enjoyed the effect his unkempt appearance had on people, as it veiled his intelligence.
"It's cute how you're always eating sweets."
"A normal person would think that's disgusting…and concerning," he said as he stuffed a spoon of brownie sundae in his mouth.
"Hey," she said. "I mean like how a person eats an ice cream cone, or a lollipop or popsicle. It's how you tap a spoon or tap lollipop on your lips." He paused in mid chew with his spoon and stared. "Also how you talk with a finger in the corner of your mouth. It's all very sensual."
"You're sounding like you watch me Misa. That's very errant of you," he said dryly. "Wouldn't Light be upset?"
"Oh Ryuzaki, everyone sees the distinct way in which you stuff your face, constantly," she laughed.
"Ah, now I'm stuffing my face. It sounds dreadful. However, that's far more accurate to what it looks like. Thanks for reminding me why I don't ever get company," he said sarcastically, but was amused on the inside. Misa continued to giggle.
"Ryuzaki would make a good friend." He deflated at that complement because of the gravity of the situation. He was forced to think she was biding her time same as he. "Why so gloomy? I still don't know why you brought me here. Last time I was here I was," she paused. "You couldn't have brought me here to talk about…. cuteness and candy…" she trailed off thinking about how none of this really makes sense. L wasn't acting like himself at all. Unease swept though her body when she remembered how he made sure her bag was taken, disarming her of her death note, right when she walked though the door. Could he know? "I-" she began. "I just remembered, I have a thing. I have a photo shoot." She stood. "I knew it. You still suspect Misa. I knew it. But you don't have any proof and I want to go." She backed away but a coffee table corner caught her leg and she fell on her butt. He hopped off the couch walked to her. "I didn't do anything wrong. You're going to throw Misa in that room and Misa will die. You can't do it." She seemed so sincere, if she only was sincere. She was a really good actress. He crouched down next to her and she shrank away, looking pained. "Don't put me in there. You can't. I haven't done anything wrong."
"I told you, I wanted a date. If I suspected you, you'd be in there right now," he gestured with his eyes behind a certain wall. She slowly looked up at him with frightened tears in her eyes.
"I don't believe you. I want to leave."
"I didn't think you'd ever return here and I don't want to you to go," he said innocently. He grabbed one of her hands, gave a small smile. "You'll have to trust me."
"You can prove you don't suspect me by letting me leave."
"I want to put you at ease. It's just you and I and what ever you want to talk about."
"You're strange and scary Ryuzaki," she said.
"Why scary?"
"Because the last time you took my hand and suggested a date, very bad things happened. You must not socialize very much."
"Misa's correct. I do not mingle. And I'm not good at small talk." As long as he didn't talk about having suspicions of her or the death note, she tried to relax.
"It's ok. Being in comfortable quiet is enjoyable. Light doesn't like comfortable quiet with Misa. He gets bored and tells me to go home." He looked at the sad girl in front of him, the girl that had 2 shinigamis ready to die for her. The girl who was possessed by the notebook and her love for Light and he saw her as a victim and wished he could save her but knew she had already made her choice. "Ryuzaki, Ryuzaki. You're staring at me, more then usual. Is something the matter?" He hadn't realized she had been speaking to him.
"Hm? It's nothing." He stood. She picked herself up from the floor slightly disappointed that he didn't offer a hand.
"Hey," she said trying to be more relaxed and cheerful. She jumped in front of him and he started a bit.
"Stand up." He looked to the side. "Straight."
"Why?" He frowned.
"I want to see how tall you really are, silly." He sighed deeply and straightened himself slowly. "Oh, you're so tall," she said standing directly in front of him. "So much taller then Light, wow." He stifled a laugh.
"Oh Misa Misa," he said. He assumed his position on the chair. She couched down next to him, perching in the same stance as he. "You're imitating me now?" he asked. She put her finger to her lips and said,
"I don't know what you're talking about." He extended his leg and tipped her over. "Hey-!" she exclaimed. He smiled on the inside and dipped a long wafer like stick into a jar that read Nutella.
"Nutella! My Achilles heel," she declared. She grabbed it and the jar of wafers and put it on the table between them and knelt by his side. Light won't even play with Misa." She made a face. "When he kicks or pushes me away, it hurts." L put his hand on her shoulder causing her to look at him. He asked with his mouthful;
"You don't have to stay with him. Why do you stay?"
"He's done great things for me."
"Great things? Like what?" She couldn't tell him exactly what for obvious reasons so she was at a loss for awhile.
"He agreed to date me even though I'm an idol. Lots of boys would be too jealous to date someone famous."
"Nice, but hardly a great thing to do for you."
"He's very ambitious. I don't want to disappoint him."
"How could you disappoint him? You're hard working, loyal, pretty."
"Misa disappoints Light a lot." He noticed her glance at her now cold hot chocolate.
"Would you like something else to drink?"
"Something with out sugar in it." He smiled a little and got to his feet. He poured her a glass and glanced over his shoulder.
He returned to his crouching position on the chair and slid the glass toward her. "You have others who love you, your extended family, an aunt, an uncle, a cousin. You don't have to help him anymore. I can protect you."
"Help him? Protect me? What do you mean?"
"Being loyal, being his girl friend, when you seem to get used and hurt by him. I can protect you. I only need you to tell me who he really is." Her look went from sad to panicked and she glanced at the door.
"What- are you saying?" she couldn't help but ask fearfully.
"I mean, I can protect you if you don't have a professional to confide in. If you don't want people from the outside to know, because you're famous. He's hurt you in an assortment of ways. You're clearly suffering. That's nothing to be taken lightly."
"A-a professional? Ryuzaki thinks I should see a professional? You're not the first one." She took a long drink and looked down. "I went to a few but I was too angry, depressed and bitter for it to really help. And then…"
"And then what?"
"And then the murderer who massacred my family was executed by, Kira. It was the best day of my life, since what had happened. You have to understand, right? You do understand, don't you?" she asked, desperate for approval, especially his approval.
"It's…human."
"Don't talk like your not one of us." she said frustrated.
"I know I'm human, just not as hostile."
"Not as hostile? Really?" She laughed incredulously. "You torture people. You make them wish they were dead. I'll never forget what you did to me. How could you insist a person go through that, let alone watch it?"
"Justice."
"Kira is justice."
"Kira is a murderer."
"And you've sent plenty of criminals to their death."
Misa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't feel good," she said. L sprang up from his chair and crouched beside her. "I feel dizzy. What's going on? I feel so;" L steadied her shoulder. She looked to him, even more panicked that he didn't seem surprised. 'Did you, did you do something to me?" What did you do?" L cradled her head and shoulder as she lost consciousness.
Misa slowly opened her eyes, understanding straight away that she was placed upon a cot inside of the familiar cell causing her heart to race. The death note must have been found in her bag, incrementing her beyond a reasonable doubt. She had been so stupid to bring it with her, but that was just her, stupid. She knew she wouldn't make it though another interrogation. A team was there during her last incarceration. Now, there was no one else there but L. There was no one to hear her, no one to help her. Where was Light, she wondered. She had thought about yelling, playing dumb and asking why she was in there again but she knew she wouldn't get out of this room alive so it would all be futile. Absolute despair overtook and she started to cry, saying Lights name over and over, even though she knew Light wouldn't care.
L watched her, knowing that this wouldn't get any better and becoming slightly uncomfortable by it.
His eyes lowered to his computer and he worked on other things. She knew what he wanted. He knew there was a 98% chance she wasn't going to give it to him unless things got ugly. Keeping the suspect incarcerated and interrogated was the boring part anyway. Finding out how to make the difficult ones talk was a small mystery but no real puzzle and a part he'd like to skip over if a confession wasn't almost always detrimental to a conviction.
A half hour had passed and she was still quiet and curled up in a ball. She held the blanket that had been folded on the cot to her face and cried on and off. He thought about making both her and Light 'disappear.' Since Light allowed Misa to get her memories back and continue killing directly after he released her, he set her up to be caught. Not only that, Light set up Rem to save Misa's life, relinquishing her own to kill him in the process. He was so done with this case. He decided it was time to continue with the pretense that he and Rem had agreed upon.
"Misa, can you hear me?" She said something he couldn't understand. "I can't hear you," he said. She sat up against the wall and held the blanket to her, wiping her face.
"You invited me here. You were nice. You pretended to be my friend."
"And you pretended you where mine, and came here to kill me. You cannot lie and expect me not to lie in return." There was so much she wanted to tell him, but it was all incrementing and would affirm his accusations.
"I have nothing against you, Ryuzaki."
"Be that as it may, is that you admitting that you indeed came here to kill me?"
"No," she answered distantly.
"I found the Death Note in your bag, you so generously and conveniently brought with you. Admit that it's yours," he revealed, trying to get this over with quicker.
"What ever proof you have, you planted it there," she began, more upset at herself then anyone. "Because you're cunning and cruel and under pressure to wrap this case up. You wouldn't want to tarnish your conviction rate." He made a face.
"Admit that you are the second Kira and that Light is the first."
"Misa will not survive another incarceration. I'm dead anyway, no matter what I say. You think I am guilty. What does it matter?"
"I haven't bound or blindfolded you yet. I haven't even begun, partly because last time was for precaution and now, because I think you know it's over for Light and yourself."
"Where's Light? Where is Light?" she asked again. "Does he know I'm here?"
"Make it easy for us both and just tell me."
"I can't admit to something I'm not. You're monster. You're just another monster." He looked pained at first.
"That coming from a murderer? Those innocent people had families too, like you did."
"You put agents in the line of fire to stop Kira. What did you think would happen?"
"You can't crucify me for trying to stop him. Kira needs to be stopped!"
"You're just afraid that Kira is doing a better job than you in making the crime rates go down. And they are going down, aren't they?" She laughed a little. "Soon you won't have any of those exciting murder cases to solve. You'll just die of boredom. You'll also be out of a job. What is Ryuzaki going to do for money? Work at a candy shop? Be a waiter? A bus driver?"
"Oh Misa, Misa. This is not a way to remain on my good side," he replied feeling his ego getting a little bruised.
"Good side? I'm not on your good side, I'm in here. You were nice to me one moment and the next I'm in here." He lowered his head, knowing her fate, and pitying her.
"I apologize for that. You have had so much taken from you. You love with fierce loyalty and you deserve someone to do the same for you."
"What? Why are you saying that? You sound like you care. Don't pretend to care about me when you put me in here!"
"I do care. You truly deserve better." His insisting sentiment caught her off guard and diffused her hostility. She stood and walked to the doubled pained glass.
"Then stop this," she begged. "You really seemed like you cared, earlier, like a normal person," he considered her words.
"…You did as well. It wasn't lost on me. I know there's more to you then what Kira is using you for." At the mention of Light, she began to cry.
"Light and Ryuzaki have both forsaken Misa. Misa wants to die. Kill me and get it over with. Living with these feelings is more torture then you know." She was different this time. This rouse had given them time to talk, to actually play a little bit. Ryuzaki had even humored her zany subject matter and had come to the conclusion she was every bit sincere. He lowered his head, unable to watch.
He heard Rem say his name softly. He had his fingers on his temple and refused to look up. He noticed she was moving toward Misa. "Wait." She turned and as he lifted his head. With a line of wetness on his cheek he said, "I'm sorry." Rem paused and nodded. She phased into the cell and stood beside Misa.
"Misa, do you truly want to die?"
"Rem, where is Light? Where is he? Is he safe? I love him. I don't want to be any trouble for him. I only wanted to be useful. I owe him my life. Tell him thank you," she went on as her last lament to Light. Rem cringed at those words. Misa owed Gelous her life. He saved her, not Light! Her life was not owed to an ungrateful psychopathic human. It broke Rem's heart and reminded her of Misa's inevitable hopeless premature demise, if not here then elsewhere. "Misa knows he doesn't love her. Misa just wanted to be useful. Misa doesn't want to live otherwise." Even though Rem knew this to be true, hearing the words still made her sad. "Tell him Misa loves him even though I know he doesn't care. Make sure he will be ok somehow. I love him, more then my own life." Then for the first time, Rem had the conscious thought, maybe Misa would be better off departed. She would be put out of her unending misery. "I don't want to live in a world with out him. If he dies, I want to die too." Rem knew Ryuk would eventually grow board and kill Light, further proving L's theory that Misa will kill herself later as a result. She also knew Light would kill her when she wasn't useful to him anymore. However, she had to comfort Misa somehow, even if it would be a lie.
"I will tell him your last words. I will tell him your last wishes. He will know you love him."
Rem raised her hand, preparing to take Misa's life. She wanted to tell Misa that Gelous loved her; wanted to tell her that she herself loves her but she knew that those declarations wouldn't resonate with her so they would go unsaid. Rem waved her hand in front of Misa's face and it was done.
L perched in a chair, watching Ryuk's death note burn in the tray. He lifted the other to follow it. "Wait." L paused, his eyes following the voice up to the Shinagami.
"Yes?" he acknowledged. It amazed her that'd he'd even so much as pause. She was again hesitant and melancholy.
"When you destroy the notebook, you won't be able to see me anymore. I wanted to express my gratitude to you for showing me and seeing me through an impossible decision. It comforts me to know that it's was what she wanted."
"What has happened is unfortunate," he said as his eyes fell. "You have my condolences. I lost Light, the only friend ever had. This book belonged to Gelous, your friend," he began. She nodded. L extended the notebook to her. "Do you want it back?" She looked at the gesture, moved and in continued disbelief at this human.
"Shinigamis aren't sentimental in that way."
"Yes you are."
"How could you? Knowing what that is, how could you not destroy it?"
"I know what you were prepared to do and I am grateful that you spoke to me." As she slowly took it, L said, "Please don't drop it again." She shook her head quickly.
"Shinigamis aren't supposed to be like this, have sentiment. A part of me wants it to end. I believe it will still be the death of me."
"Still?"
"Still."