My Lady Cleves – Part One – Anna von Kleves
Chapter One: Proposal
"Anna, Anna, wake up. Brother requests to see us," Amalia murmured against my ear softly. I groaned. It was much too early in the morning; the sun wasn't even out yet. "Come on Anna, he'll be furious."
I opened my eyes slowly and rolled to my side. "I hate him. Must he ruin our lives and our sleep as well?" I pushed the covers to my feet and stretched.
"He does the best that he can sister," Amalia quipped sarcastically before moving towards our old dresser. I yawned loudly and got off the hard and unnaturally cold bed to follow her.
"What do you think he wants us to wear?" my sister asked as she looked through our few shared dresses.
"We have to wear black Amalia, it's respectful."
"I know," she nodded, "but he has been wearing all the colors underneath the sun and yet we cannot even dare to do such a thing?"
"He does as he pleases." I chose the darkest dress I could find and turned to change. "Besides, no one looks upon it with favor. I know that myself."
"The maids?" she asked with a slight upturn of her mouth. I winked to let her know she was right.
"What about this? It's not black, but it's still dark." She held a gray dress at arm's length for me to inspect it.
"It will do." I told her.
Slowly I began to let my old, torn chemise to fall into a ripple at my feet before stepping out of it. I took the black dress and began unlacing the front and unbuttoning the back before putting it on. The fabric scratched at my skin and itched as I put my arms into the sleeves.
I let out a huff as it pressed upon my breasts and wrapped tightly around my bottom. This dress was possibly ten years old and it might have belonged to Sybille who was most definitely less endowed than I was. I turned around and looked at Amalia.
"Help me?" she muttered as she found one of her arms stuck at the opening for the neck. I couldn't resist but laugh.
"You're twenty-two and still can't put your arm through the sleeve correctly? Tsk, tsk," I clicked my tongue and Amalia frowned.
She scoffed. "At least my dress won't chafe my breasts."
"What breasts?" I rebuked her with a chuckle. She clamped her mouth with a loud huff and stepped forward so I could help her. I placed her arm under and then pulled down at the dress before holding the sleeve out tightly so that her arm might find it.
"Thank you Anna," she mumbled once she had fixed herself up. I gave a quick nod and turned around pointing to my back. I felt her cold, slim fingers begin to button the back of my dress quickly and with expertise.
"Turn around, time to lace you up," she ordered. I did as told and let her lace the front up.
"Not so tight," I told her as the bodice began to pull at my sides.
"Sorry but it's not me. The dress is just too tight. We need new gowns and soon."
"There's no hurry for any of our necessities. We need to survive on what we can."
Amalia frowned. "I know. There you're done. My turn." She turned around and I buttoned up her back. I spun her around to lace her bodice and I heard her giggle.
"What?" I asked her with a sharp rise of my eyebrow. My sister was ever the jester and could poke a jab at anything she found wrong with you. I had learned to keep up over the years but was still the cause of the majority of her laughter.
"Your breasts are up to your neck," she chuckled, "He's not going to like that."
I looked down and had to laugh myself. It was ridiculous. "I suppose he won't," I agreed.
We walked hurriedly down the dark and dampened corridors before we stopped to catch our breaths.
"He's going to be furious, we're late!" I exclaimed with a heave. This dress was impossible to run in.
"Careful there," Amalia said through a breath, "your chest is going to pop out."
I sighed, "Can we stop focusing on my chest and just move along, come on!" I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her around the corner. We came to stand by the great and forlorn looking door.
"I don't want to knock," Amalia admitted. Her eyes began to gloss over. Whoever entered first was going to get the worst of it, we both knew that. I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"I'll do it." Her eyes gleamed in gratitude as I positioned my knuckles and slowly flicked my wrist to gently tap on the wood.
I knocked twice and waited for an agitated voice to yell for us to enter. Both of us tensed as we waited. Instead the doors opened for us and inside we found our brother calmly sitting with our mother next to him.
I felt Amalia poke my back, 'What was that?' she meant to say. I plastered a pleasant smile on my face as we walked in and curtsied. I felt two eyes bore deep into me; the ever penetrating stare of Wilhelm.
"Rise," he ordered. We both rose and then greeted our mother with a simple nod. Sternly she returned the gesture. "Sit," he told us again with the same even voice.
Was this all simply a trick? Was he going to start yelling as soon as we sat? I folded my hands on my lap after I had pushed my chair forward and waited, but he did nothing, instead he merely spoke up.
"There is news concerning both of you," he stated.
I closed my eyes briefly. Those young, dour maids have better not breathed a word about Amalia kissing the pageboy because neither they nor we would have the end of it. Amalia shifted in her seat possibly thinking the same thing.
"There has been a marriage proposal from England. Both of your portraits are to be painted for the eyes of the English king, he will then consider which one of you shall be the bride," Wilhelm finished with a stiff smile.
"Yes," my mother began gruffly, "and both of you are expected to be ready. For that you shall both receive a new and exquisite gown so that the king of England can see that we are not just some small duchy. The seamstresses have been called over to take your measurements. I could see that one of you is especially needed of a new gown to keep modesty," she said while eyeing me. I tried not to look at her directly and instead focused my gaze downwards.
I heard my brother snarl. "Modesty is to be kept all times."
"Maybe it would be kept if we received new gowns with each year that passes," Amalia murmured angrily. I pinched the crease of her elbow. She, out of all of us, should be keeping her mouth shut considering she might soon be in boiling water for a foolish action.
"How dare you speak when not spoken to!" my brother yelled and threw his goblet at her. Amalia remained unflinching. "You are to never speak in my presence again!"
I looked to my mother discretely but her face shone nothing. I looked back to my sister, her eyes once again glossed over but any tear she had refused to fall. We were too used to this, I thought, we were becoming immune.
Something that should never been done was exactly what Amalia did next; she stood and looked our brother straight in the eye before walking off and going out the room. It was a deep sign of disrespect for his authority. I expected him to start yelling and throwing things at random like he did most of the time but instead he sat down and muttered, "Insolent."
He looked at me and waved his hand dismissing me. "Go now Anna and fetch her, then go to your rooms. Both of you will not eat supper this evening."
I quickly did as he ordered and practically ran after Amalia and dared not to look back. Supper be damned. I didn't even want to spend my mealtimes with my mother or brother anyways.
"Amalia!" I yelled after I was out of my brother's earshot. "Amalia!" I didn't hear a response or her footsteps. I sighed deeply then I ran as best as I could to our chambers to avoid Amalia doing something rash like the last time.
I opened the creaky door and looked inside but she was not there. My mind was jolted for a second before I realized where she went. I hurriedly walked towards the dresser and pulled out a cloak. I wrapped it around my shoulders awkwardly as I bolted out the door and ran towards the back gardens.
I was greeted by the bone chilling cold wind and tiny drops of fleeting rain as I opened the heavy door to the outside to find Amalia seated to the left besides it.
"Amalia, come inside, you'll freeze here."
"Let me Anna, it's not like it matters."
I looked down at her with sympathy. Our father's death had been a hard toll on her whether she showed it or not. And our brother's harsh treatment only aggravated her fragility. She had once told me the cold was numbing to everything, but this was too drastic to consider. I couldn't leave her out here, she could die. The weather was already beginning to change as it shifted from the beautiful warmth of the summer months into the chill and rain of autumn.
"Get inside Amalia," I told her again with a firmer stance.
"No. He'll kill me. I was stupid; I don't know what came over me. I just did it without thinking."
"He deserves it." I told her. Kneeling besides her I rested my hand on her shoulder.
She snorted. "That and so much more." With a defeated sigh she took my hand and squeezed it. I stood and she followed my lead. "Fine, I'll go inside. Just protect me if he comes with a knife."
I brought her in for a hug, "I would never let him do such a thing to you, sister."
She sniffled into my shoulder as I pulled us back inside.
I sat by the window and looked out to see a fresh mud covering the ground. I sighed. I hated the autumn months. We were truly trapped in a cage during the rainy autumn months and then the snow covered months. We didn't even have the choice of being outdoors to escape if only for a little bit of time.
We had woken up early again to wait for our mother to come in and give us further detail into our proposals and to punish us both for our behavior yesterday. Although I hadn't done anything wrong, other than wearing a too-tight dress, by extension I would still be reprimanded. Mother could find a fault in everyone and everything and she had the same temper as our brother, even if it had muted out considerably as she had begun to enter in age.
Amalia paced around in front of me. She would get the worst end. Her shaking hands indicated just how scared she was. I could not find a way to comfort her and opted to just give her space.
I looked over to the cleaning maids as they talked in hushed tones among themselves. They were the older ones, the ones that had tended to us as little girls. We had grown fond of them and them of us, but we could not show it, especially not when the presence of our mother loomed over the horizon.
"Amalia, sister, come sit by me," I said growing impatient of her walking to and fro. She turned her head and nodded but her mind was somewhere else.
"Where is your mind at sister?" I asked as she sat across from me. She shook her head and looked down at her hands. "Tell me Amalia."
"Him, Anna, him. Anna, I think I love him," she whispered as she leaned closer to me and loose strand of hair fell over her face. I clicked my tongue and shook my head. "No, Anna, it's true. But we can never be. He'd be killed and I would be sent into a nunnery and spiral into madness. And what if I get chosen by the English king? I'd never see him again. Anna, it has to be you. I'd rather stay here and endure all with him by my …. side than live far away from him."
"Amalia …." I breathed. Despite me always saying that it was not really love that she felt for him I could not deny that her feelings were strong. "I … know." I took her hands into mine. "But, it cannot be and you must accept that."
She hung her head. "I have faith in God, Anna, and he will make it happen."
Just as I was about to say something the door opened and our mother walked in loudly and dismissed all our maids with a booming voice. We each curdled at the sound. We loved our mother but she wasn't always the most endearing woman.
She looked at us then with her cold green eyes and cleared her throat. We rose and swept into a curtsy.
"Get up my daughters," she instructed and we both rose. She took the grand seat by the fireplace and once again looked over at us. "I don't expect that the king of England will follow through with his proposal with either one of you." She paused and raked us each up and down with her stare. "However, we must pray that he will be of a light heart and of failing eyes."
I nearly sneered as she looked away but caught myself. Amalia curled her fists and let her mouth tighten into a little line.
"Now," she began again, "I am to instruct you of behavior and the English protocol if you are chosen and if you are not, then it will serve of further discipline. Which," she paused "should be given."
Here it was, she was going to use to punish us. And as if she had read my mind she straightened her back and curled her lips. The flames behind her head made her fading crimson hair glisten as if it were on fire itself.
"You are to never, ever speak to a man unless you are spoken to! And much less walk out when not dismissed! And modesty," my mother said turning to me, "Is to be kept at all times, put a shawl over yourself if you must! Where have all my years of teaching not been clear? Have I failed in turning you into proper young women? Maybe that is the reason both of you are unmarried and will remain unmarried! If your lack of looks weren't enough maybe your lack of common grace is!" she bellowed with a red face and with her throat vein pulsing with force against her thinning skin.
All we could do was look down and dare not to even breathe loudly as she calmed herself. She took in a deep breath and calmly continued, "Although, if the king of England likes a bosom he'll be sure to find one," she looked at me and I felt myself grow hot with blush. She laughed. "And if he prefers a woman with sturdy shoulders he has also found one." My sister looked down and closed her eyes shut.
Count on my mother to find fault, and the worst part, she wasn't even done yet.
The seamstresses arrived late into the afternoon while were embroidering new liveries for Wilhelm's growing court. Mother was the first to greet them before we were introduced. Like most women the seamstresses were hard faced and without smile. Promptly and without much say we were stripped of our clothing so that they could take accurate measurements.
As we were made to stand on little wooden stools our mother left without word. I could feel the tension rise from my shoulders as she closed the door behind her. I did love her, really, but at the same time I detested just how much colder she had gotten since father's death.
The seamstresses worked efficiently as they took our heights and widths. The problems came when they began to measure around our hips and busts. Not only was I of a big chest but my hips were rather wide. I detested them. They had scarred me with the ugliest of marks that I couldn't rid myself of. My breasts were also culprits of such a horrible deed.
"We'll have to work with your particular body, my lady. Not often do I see such a figure," my seamstress told me as she placed her measuring tool around my hips.
'It's not very wanted,' I thought.
"However it will make for a lovely gown," she assured me. I nodded without much conviction.
I looked sideways at Amalia who simply smirked in my direction. Despite her bigger shoulders, Amalia had the ideal body for the German fashions which I very much envied. Even Sybille had been the ideal. But then again, Sybille had been the ideal for everything.
As night fell the air grew colder. We had added extra wood to the fireplace to keep it burning for longer so that the night would at least be somewhat warm. Amalia snuggled in closer to me and buried her face into the stiff pillow.
"What do you think England is like?" she questioned. I shrugged. I hadn't the slightest idea.
"I don't know," I admitted as I pulled the covers a bit higher and curled my legs into my body.
"I wonder what the king is like. I've heard he's a monster. He killed his second wife."
"Everyone knows that," I mumbled and closed my eyes. The day had left me weary and my eyes felt heavy with sleep.
"But they say he was very handsome in his youth and tall, maybe even taller than you Anna!"
I chuckled lowly. "I've yet to find a man taller than me other than our father."
She giggled. Even our brother was shorter than me; I believed that's why he didn't really like me.
"When are we going to be painted for the pleasure of such a king?" she asked with interest.
"When our gowns arrive," I answered through a yawn.
"Great, we have something to look forward too."
Hello again! I hope you enjoyed the new first chapter of the revised My Lady Cleves story. I'd like to thank everyone that took the time to read the original story and I want to thank all those reading this in advance! THANK YOU!
A special shoutout goes to Numa Hatem for giving me the final push into not abandoning my story and further giving me the spirit to rewriting it, thank you lovely!
Love,
Mimi (owls-and-asters)