"C'mon, Alfred!"
"I dunno, Arthur, there's a barrier there for a reason."
"Alfreeeed. There's not going to be another gap for aages!"
Alfred pushed away the feeling of befuddlement at the role-reversal he was experiencing.
"Well then, lets just walk along with it 'till we can find one?"
"But, Alfred," Arthur whined "That's not the point, and you know it!"
Alfred looked away and around at all the colour, all the people, then back at Arthur. Arthur's face was desperate and pleading. Like a child begging for just one more sweet.
A little voice deep inside of Alfred told himself to just get over himself already...
But then there was that pit of worry too. A hard ball of fear that lay deep and gripping. Telling him what he believed was wrong.
Alfred glanced around again, then back at Arthur.
But Arthur...
He sighed. "Ok."
Arthur beamed.
Alfred found himself dragged over to the barrier, hand gripped by Arthur, apologising as he accidentally elbowed people out of the way.
Arthur whirled around. "Ok. You grab me and lift me over!"
Alfred sighed again but complied, letting Arthur put his hands in his and trying to ignore the curious glances of the other people.
Arthur hoisted his weight into Alfred's hands and used the momentum to swing his legs over the metal railing of the barrier. He landed oh the other side and offered his hands to Alfred. Still avoiding the eyes of the onlookers, Alfred took hold of his lovers soft, pale hands, put one foot on the top of the barrier, and pulled himself over.
Now that they were passed the barrier Alfred was struck by just how in the middle of everything they now were. Now that they had stumbled into the middle of the march he could feel the flags waving over his head, the pounding of hundreds of feet on the tarmac streets of London, the whistles ringing shrilly in his ears, and over everything there was the hard, fast, bone-deep throb of pulsating music. He blanched at the transvestites, the man in a wedding dress, the women in hotpants, and the dragqueens in wigs a meter high.
"HELLO LONDOOOOONN!" A man's voice called out over the sea of cheering and pounding music. "LET ME HEAR YOU MAKE SOME NOOOOOOIIIISSSEE!"
As requested, the crowds erupted with more force than Alfred had seen in some battlefields. Next to him Arthur threw a fist in the air, chains and rings glinting in the sunlight, and howled with his people.
At one point they passed a small cluster of christians, lost in the sea of the crowd on the other side of the steel barriers. Alfred was surprised that there weren't more than this one small group, chanting biblical quotes and waving ugly yellow "Save Your Souls" signs that were nothing compared to the rainbow flag gliding passed them like a wave.
As they walked Alfred ducked his head and Arthur called out to them, along with almost every other person in the vicinity. Most called out in anger and amusement at the religious protesters, even as gay, buddhist, muslim, and christians walked passed them, with their own banners.
Arthur held out his hand to them, two fingers raised in a peace symbol, laughing. Alfred appreciated the irony of it all.
Alfred felt something swell in his chest. Something akin to pride, though the tight ball of worry fought hard against it and pushed it down, into something guilty.
As a woman passed, who had to be in her late fifties at least, she whipped a rainbow sticker from a generous roll she had in her hands and slapped it onto Alfred's shoulder. Arthur threw out his hand, palm up, and she stuck one on his arm.
Alfred slowly looked down at the neon sticker planted firmly on his American flag tee-shirt.
LGBT Pride.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. Pride.
Alfred felt his palms grow clammy.
Alfred tried to slow his breathing. He flexed his hands and fought the urge to rip off the sticker on his shoulder, throw it away. So many people. So many people could see him there. With another man. They would all think. All assume...All know.
"Alfred."
Alfred whirled around and faced Arthur, who was looking at him with big, green eyes. Alfred breathed for a moment then glanced down. He had taken Arthur's hand in his without realising, and was gripping it in a hold that must have been painful. If it hurt, it didn't show on Arthur's face.
Alfred let go.
They paused, and then Arthur's hand chased after Alfred's, taking it and holding it gently. "It's Ok, Alfred." He said softly. "C'mon. We look like muppets, just standing here." He tugged on Alfred's hand and they tentatively started walking.
Alfred knew that Arthur wanted him to talk. He could feel it in the way he held his hand, how he led them through the streets, with the hundreds of his people clustered around them, unaware of just who they were.
Alfred took a deep breath.
"It's just I can't stop thinking." He forced out. "Can't stop thinking about all the years that this has just been so wrong. All the people that think it's wrong. All my people. What parts of me still think this is something gross that should be..like..a punishable offence. All my religions that say all that stuff about damnation and hell and shit."
"Shhh, Alfred." Arthur soothed, rubbing Alfred's hand with his thumb.
"I don't know what to think. Who to believe."
"Believe yourself. Rely on what you think."
Alfred shook his head. "I feel sick."
"Sick." Arthur probed. "Or scared?"
Alfred thought on that.
"I feel scared of what I don't know." He said.
There had been a time, back when space travel was new and blindingly unlimited, Alfred had developed a fear of the dark side of the moon. He was scared of what could be hiding there. He would sit in the dark, terrified that something had been disturbed, would come down, take his spacemen, his explorers.
Arthur's grip on his hand brought him back to the present, the colour and the noise.
"Hay." Arthur said gently, patiently. "You're making progress." Alfred snorted. "No, really, what about New York? I haven't even legalised gay marriage yet."
Alfred sighed. He knew it was something people where slowly coming to understand, in their own way. But..."But there are so many other states."
Arthur stayed silent, the quiet filled up with laughing and music.
"Maybe of you think about it smaller." Arthur suggested. "Less about God and unanswerable questions, and more about the happiness of your people- of yourself."
Alfred felt the knot of fear in his chest throb, and it twisted his face into a sad, sarcastic mask. "Well, why don't we just let murder and rape slide too."
Arthur tugged at his hand, "I think you're missing the defining difference between evil, and freedom."
Alfred's head whipped up and he looked at Arthur.
Arthur licked his lips, watching their feet as they took step after revolutionary step along with hundreds of other people."What about Harvey Milk?"
Alfred followed his gaze to the sun-warmed tarmac. "I loved Harvey Milk."
"And do you remember the feeling of freedom and happiness?"
"Of course I do. But I also remember what Proposition 6 felt like. The reasons why it was a good idea..."
"And why it never came to pass." Arthur reminded him.
They walked in silence for a moment, hands clasped together, almost like the slogans painted on the canvas signs above them.
"Why don't you just enjoy today, Alfred." Arthur said. "Let the thinking wait for a while, when your in the White House."
Alfred looked like he wanted to point out the flaws in that plan – why putting things on the back burner might not be the best idea, but then he reminded himself that Arthur was a Nation too, and a capable adult who knew what he was doing and had suffered through the same trials of oppression that Alfred had, and some not different.
Instead Alfred closed his mouth, gripped Arthur's hand tighter, ducked his head down and pressed a kiss to Arthur's cheek.
"I love you." He breathed against Arthur's ear.
Arthur smiled, and ran his free hand through Alfred's hair, mussing it.
"I love you too." He grinned. "And that's what this is all about."