Disclaimer:
Kari: The authors don't own anything, because if they did, they wouldn't be writing fanfics, but scripts.
Matt: Just read the story, already! Fanfiction.net is a disclaimer in itself!
Part One: Evil, EVIL Plans
It was a nice, warm...uhh...spring evening! Yeah, that's it, spring evening. Anyhoo, Matt was walking home from band practice, a deep scowl on his face. If you haven't guessed already, Jun had been trying to ask him out again.
How many painful ways can I kill her? He wondered, grinning a bit sadistically.
Lost in his kill-Jun-by-horrible-death thoughts, he ran right into a...a...a what? Oh! A very fast and pissed-off Kari Kamiya. The bounded off each other and fell to the ground.
"Stupid friggin Davis...just like my stupid friggin brother, and his stupid friggin sidewalk, and this stupid locomotive that I just ran into. And TK is NOT helping this right now!" She finished in a shout, standing up and shaking her fist right under Matt's nose.
Matt just stared at here. Never in his life had he heard sweet innocent Kari say such horrid things! And about her own brother, too! The world is ending... he thought dazedly as he stood up, carefully avoiding her clenched fist.
"Uhh...Kari? Is anything wrong?" he asked nervously.
"Is anything wrong?" Kari whispered.
Uh-oh.... She's whispering....
"IS ANYTHING WRONG? Does it look like it? You bet your whole damn band something is wrong! Or your precious hair! Would you like a list of things that are wrong?????? Hum!!" Without waiting for an answer, she went on. "My stupid brother is trying to hook me up with that damn wannabe! Do you think I WANT to go out with someone who looks almost EXACTLY like my brother? And YOUR brother! TK is NOT helping any!!!!! He always calls me his girl, but what does he do when Davis asks me out? He steps aside like a gentleman and lets him! He actually agrees to let Davis take me out! He's practically told Davis I'd marry him!"
She paused for breath, blinked, then fell to the ground.
"Kari? Are you okay?" Matt asked worriedly, standing over her.
"Yeah." She opened her eyes and sat up, "That felt REALLY good to just let it all out."
She stood up, and wiped the dirt off her clothes.
"What about you? You don't look too happy yourself." Kari asked, back to her sweet self. Then she looked apprehensive... "Is this something I wanna here? Keep it under R please... I'm just 13!"
"It's Jun." Matt scowled.
"Who?" Kari looked confused.
"Davis' bitch of an older sister." Matt growled. "She follows me EVERYWHERE!!! Well, except to the bathroom and that's because it has a lock. She even follows me home! AND one night she managed to get through my window to 'watch me sleep'" -- he made 'quote/un-quote signs' -- "She's three years older than me and she keeps trying to ask me out on a date! I had to set the guard dogs on her! And STILL she came back! But my dad threw her out, thank God." Yamato said, all in one breath.
Kari was still laughing over the bedroom window thing. But she stopped when Matt send a death glare her way. "Sorry... but it seems we BOTH have a problem with the Motomiya family. If only there was something we could do..." Kari sighed.
They both moved to a bench and sat down to think.
After a few minutes of silent thought, they both turned to each other thoughtfully for a minute.
Then Matt got an evil, EVIL idea...
What if we pretended to be going out? Then they would get off our backs! They'd HAVE to! Matt thought with a smile of vindictive glee...
"Hey Kari..." Matt stopped....
"What? Do you have an idea?" Kari asked. Good, then I won't have to share mine! Kari thought with a small shudder.
Um.. wait a minute here, Ishida... Matt stopped himself, Think about it for a minute, what's she gonna say if you suggest that? She'll think you're even more psychotic than she already does! Matt contemplated. Then he surpressed a small shudder, Eww, eww, eww, I'd be dating Tai's little sister...she's like, three years younger than me! That would NOT be nice! Augh.. I can see it now: "Cool Guy thows it all away and becomes... DIDDLERMAN!" AUGH!!!!!!!!!! My reputation would be ruined! Scratch that idea.
"Uhh..never mind, it's a stupid idea." He mumbled.
Oh, no... Now, should I say MY idea? But, he'll think I'm a lovesick little child, like that Jun chick.... Oh, well... desperate times call for desperate measures.... Kari thought, blushing and covering her face with her hands.
"Uhh... Matt?" she asked.
"What?" he asked, "You have an idea?" he asked, feeling a bit relieved.
"I know this is gonna sound so weird and a bit disgusting..." she began from behind her hands.
Good Lord, DON'T tell me she was thinking the same thing I was, Matt thought with horror, No, no, no, no, NO! NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!!
"..But, we can.." she took a deep breath, then said in a one big rush, "Wecanalwayspretendyouandmearedating."
Matt's eyes bugged out. But Kari continued, unheeded.
"I know, I know... It's gross... I mean, the age thing.... But it would only be pretend, and think about this... Tai would get mad, and you can't get hurt for it, because not even HE is stupid enough to attack MY boyfriends even if Tai is a total jerk, and Davis an Jun would have to get off our backs, because we'd be dating! Please, I can't think of anything better!" Kari said, hoping that Matt wasn't thinking she was a total nutcake.
In the mean while, Matt was slowing starting to grin evilly. The thought of Tai being pissed at him, but not able to do anything was very appealing. Besides, it might not be so bad, and anyway, Jun would be off his back, because he'd be taken.... Hummm... this just might work after all! Matt thought with a smile.
He's smiling... that has to be a good sign, right? Kari thought, peering at him between her fingers.
"So how do this?" Kari asked.
"We plan and plan, then plan some more. Did I mention we have to plan?" Matt asked.
There was silence before they both spoke in unison,
"Why do I feel like I just made a deal with the devil?"
Well, what did you think? PLease review!