-1Author's Note:
Hi there,
As promised, I have delivered a side story to AOI, which I hope you all appreciate. This was a ten minute think that literally snuck up on me and was churned out on about ten minutes. I kid you not. One minute I was reading online and the next, Wufei was beside me, smacking me upside the head and demanding that I tell his side of what happened in the beginning of the fic.
This fic is a direct spawning of Tora-chan's review, saying I stole her Wu-kins. Erm, I didn't mean to, would you believe I actually didn't intend on any pairings, but Wufei suddenly seemed to want to be in the fic? 'Sides, I only borrowed him for a lil' while.
This fic is dedicated to Nicola W, an ex-friend of mine. Yes, I know how that sounds, but I've an odd way of looking at life. Just go with it.
AOI Sidefic: The Depth Of Love by Hikishi
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, and trust me, I'm lamenting that fact…
Parings: 1x5
Warnings: Language, Dark, Suicidal Thoughts.
Genres: POV, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Action, Romance.
THE DEPTH OF LOVE
I just feel numb. Cold, almost like I'm dead inside. I can't think straight, I can't see straight, can't even breathe right. The only thing I can think of is him. My heart had skipped a beat when he confessed his feelings to me, then stopped all together when I saw the chunks of concrete burying him.
Time has stopped as well. I feel like I'm trying to move much too slowly, as if through water. My injuries don't register, nothing registers. Everything has been shoved aside in my mind, and I am only able to think of one thing, digging, searching for him.
But not fast enough. I know he's dying, all alone, under tons of steel and rock, unable to breathe, crushed. My lungs are burning in sympathy, making me dizzy, not able to pull in enough breath.
Please, God, not like this. Not when I've just found him! my mind screams as I grunt and shift another piece of concrete, tearing my palm on a piece of hot, rusted metal. I'm desperate. I'm angry. I'm terrified. I'm not strong enough. If Heero were here, he'd know what to do. He'd be able to take charge. But my lover is not here. It's just me, and I have to try my hardest to just get him out, the only way I know how.
Heero I cry silently as I jerk away from someone as they try to pull my away from the rubble. I'm sorry, I know you love him like I do. This will kill us both.
We thought he wasn't interested in us. I felt a tear splash onto the back of my palm as I renewed my digging in earnest. He'd always been so happy-go-lucky. Even when Heero and I fought. We kept our arguments secret from him. Both of us had wanted him, and hated the other for it. But even though he was friendly, he had this air around him, like an impenetrable field. Neither of us could get close to him on a personal level. He just wouldn't allow it.
We eventually gave up hoping he would notice our behaviour had changed towards him, and in doing so, gravitated towards each other, having something in common. We made ourselves content with the other's company and the pain of not having him love us that way lessened. The tension between the three of us eased and suddenly he seemed happier than he'd ever been before.
Then, the night he found out we were seeing each other, he gave us both a huge, relieved grin and said It's about time! You two had me walking on eggshells lately, I was afraid you'd never admit your feelings!
But there was something I hadn't detected at the time, something we had both failed to notice.
His smile. His smile was broken. A little less bright. A little more forced. He, the master of stealth had used his skills effortlessly and made himself fade into the background, directing our attention to each other and elsewhere than himself.
I swiped a large beam aside with strength I didn't know I could possess, snarling angrily at him, myself and the whole world.
It didn't have to be like this! My heart yelled even as it began to fracture. I felt weak, and tired. I wasn't getting any closer, I was slowing down. I couldn't give up. Even if he was dead, I had to find him. I had to-to see for myself. Knew that it was be against the odds for him to have survived this, but kept digging anyway.
I was choking back sobs loudly now. Heero. What will I say to Heero? He won't understand. This will break him into a million pieces. I knew we would not live through this. After….after it's over, after the funeral, we would just collapse.
I could see him in my mind, fading away, growing thin from not eating, getting weak from sitting with his grief. Paling from lack of sunlight. And then he would just waste away. And I would…
NOT TODAY! My mind roared with rage and determination. No way. I began to dig faster. Not for me. Who the hell did he think he was, playing martyr and shoving me out of the way? We were partners! In this together, even in the end.
"You fucking hear me Maxwell?!" I yelled aggressively. "You're not going anywhere without our fucking say so!"
I reached down to grab another chunk of concrete and my hand hit skin.