"Yvonne McGruder?" James asked, a look of surprise coming over his face. Sirius was suddenly thankful it was so dark; James' reaction had caused his face to heat up very slightly.
Shrugging, Sirius responded with a nonchalant, "Yeah. What's wrong with McGruder? She's pretty hot, you have to admit. For a Ravenclaw," he added, rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling.
It was the summer after their third year at Hogwarts, and the pair were lying in James' bed, the whole house dark. It was late, probably almost midnight, but they'd been awake talking. Even though it had only been two weeks since they'd seen one another, it felt like forever and they had so much to talk about. Apparently more than James had originally thought.
He couldn't tear his eyes away from his friend, blinking a few times in the dark. Sirius' face was fuzzy and black, his body silhouetted against the moonlight streaming through the window behind him. "There's nothing wrong with McGruder," James finally answered, his mind finally going back to their conversation. "I just can't believe you had your first kiss and didn't tell me about it."
Sirius' right shoulder came off the mattress in a sort of shrug, but James couldn't see his face. He couldn't see that Sirius was biting his lip nervously. "Yeah, well… Personal, you know? Your first kiss. It's like masturbating for the first time or something."
James made a face. "No, mate, because masturbating is something you do by yourself, and a first kiss means you may or may not be getting a girl. So, did she like it too?" he asked, excitedly. "Wait, you did like it, didn't you?" he added.
"I did like it," Sirius answered a little too quickly. "What about you, though? Did you like your first kiss?" He turned his head to look back over at James.
From where Sirius was lying he could see James' face perfectly in the moonlight, and he looked surprised again. "I… Haven't had one yet," James replied, softly.
Sirius felt his heart give a funny jolt. "You haven't," he repeated, lowering his voice slightly.
"Well… No. I haven't, Sirius, I would have told you if I had," James grumbled, a pout crossing his lips.
"Oh," Sirius murmured, not sure what to say for a moment. "… Cause, see… I wasn't sure about kissing McGruder. I mean, she's pretty yeah. And smart, right? But… I dunno. I always thought I knew what my first kiss would be like. Who it would be with. You know?"
From the look on his face, James didn't know. "You planned your first kiss?" he asked, uncertainly.
Sirius bit his lip again. "Well… I mean, James, think about it. Isn't there someone you want to share your first kiss with, someone really important to you who you would never look back on it and think 'oh yeah my first kiss was with that kid I never talk to her anymore?' Someone that you know well and that you could bugger it up with without feeling embarrassed?"
A thoughtful look passed over James' face and he slowly nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I get what you mean." A cheeky grin crossed his lips. "Well, if we're going to put it that way, then I'd want my first kiss to be with you."
"Yeah?" Sirius asked, softly. "Me too. You're my best mate. I trust you, and if we did share a first kiss then I would definitely be content with it, even if we broke each other's noses or something."
James was quiet for a moment before he slowly sat up on his knees, looking curiously down at Sirius. "But didn't you already have a first kiss? With McGruder."
Sirius sat up as well, moving in closer to James as a small grin spread across his lips. James leaned away from him as he put a hand on either side of James' hips, bringing his face up to his best friend's. "I lied, mate," he chuckled.
"You… Hey!" James whined, pouting. "Why would you lie about that?! And you're a terrible liar if you're already telling me you lied," he added, huffing.
"I lied because I thought you'd already had yours," Sirius murmured, looking between James' bright hazel eyes, the bright half-moon reflected in his irises.
James blinked, his eyes trying to adjust to Sirius. He could see his face now because he was close enough. He'd taken his glasses off long ago, which made it hard to tell what expressions Sirius had. Now he could clearly see that the other looked nervous underneath his grin. "No," James snorted. "You sod. I woulda told you, we're best friends after all."
The pair fell silent for a long moment before Sirius leaned a little closer, practically in James' lap by now. "… I've thought about this for a while now, James," he mumbled, his face falling. "I want you to be my first kiss. Not because I'm queer or anything. I don't like you like that, I just… I want it to be something I remember."
"How sentimental of you, I'm surprised," James snickered, but the serious look on his friend's face stopped that rather quickly. "… Me, then?" James whispered, finally leaning forward. Sirius pulled back a little as James rested his forehead against his friend's, placing his hands between his knees to keep balance. Sirius kept his hands on either side of James' hips, glancing from his left eye to his right frantically.
"Yes. You. As I said, I'm not queer," Sirius began.
"Well I'm not either," James quickly cut him off.
Sirius nodded. "I guess it's… Practice."
They were quiet again for a little while. "Yes," James finally whispered. "Practice. So we don't look stupid when we finally do kiss a girl."
With another nod, Sirius added rather eloquently, "Uh-huh."
There was another small pocket of silence before James cleared his throat and averted his eyes. "So… Do we just… do it?"
Nervously, Sirius brought a hand up to James' cheek and tilted his face so they were looking into one another's eyes again. "I guess so," he mumbled, slowly bringing his lips down onto James'.
The kiss was awkward at first. They were staring at one another, their noses pressed against one another and their lips just barely touching. James was breathing rather fast through his nose, his heart pounding in his chest. Sirius squeezed his eyes shut, unable to stare at James any longer, and James, thinking that this was a normal thing to do when kissing, slowly let his own eyes close.
Feeling uncomfortable, James shifted slightly, tilting his head to the side so his and Sirius' noses slid beside one another. Their lips meshed, and the pressure increased between them, and suddenly the kiss felt a lot better.
Sirius sat there wracking his brain to see if he could remember anything that would help him. He remembered seeing an older student kissing his girlfriend once, and taking what he remembered from this experience Sirius brought his hand from James' cheek to rest behind his neck, giving James a gentle squeeze. Then he moved his lips slightly, massaging James' with his own. A tiny sound left James, and Sirius hoped that meant he liked it, because he certainly did.
Sirius could have kept going like this forever… But he suddenly felt his lungs burn. He hadn't been breathing. He pulled away and sucked in a deep breath, quickly looking over to James for a reaction.
James was kneeling in front of him with his eyes still clothes, head tilted, and now kiss-swollen lips puckered very slightly. His eyes fluttered open and he straightened his head, watching Sirius curiously. "… What did you think?" he whispered.
A grin spread over Sirius' lips. "Brilliant," he answered, grabbing James around the shoulders and pulling him down to the blankets, curling up with him in his arms. James let out a small sound of protest, but once he was settled against Sirius' chest, his back to him, he fell silent, staring at a Quidditch poster across from him. All the players were cheering and zooming around excitedly, and James smiled very slightly, closing his eyes.
"Thank you," Sirius mumbled into his ear. He gave James' chest a small squeeze. "It was great."
Nodding, James leaned back against his friend and answered, "Good. Because I'm not doing that again. At least not with you," he teased.
James drifted off to sleep with Sirius' laughter echoing in his ear.