A/N: Hey guys I'm back again, anyway I was watching Konosuba and I was thinking about if I was in the story and my mind wandered around until I thought about making a fan fic where me and my friends were in that world, enjoy
Chapter 1: why is it always us
Op: no pain no game
Scene: New York City, train station
Date: December 8th, 2016
It was a late night, a much more quiet night for the city, the train station was rather empty with the exception of our three protagonists and a homeless person next to them asleep on the bench
Our first hero is tall, about 6 feet and 17 years old, he has black cornrows with white highlights in each row, his eyes are intimidating but a nice brown, his face slightly hairy with a couple of beauty marks next to each eye and his skin tone is a pale beige. He's a bit fat but it's more muscle than fat and he has two chipped teeth right next to his bottom left canine. He's wearing a red and white turtle neck, blue jeans, red running sneakers, with a black messenger bag and a black duster that reaches to his knees.
Our second hero is almost as tall as the first one but is way skinnier to the point of near malnutrition, he is also seventeen years old, has slick black hair, olive skin and brown eyes and glasses. He is wearing a black leather jacket, beige pants, red sweater, white dress shirt and black sneakers, and to top it off his ears are shaped like elf ears… for that to be a genetic trait in his family is fucking amazing.
And our third hero is the shortest of the group at 5'8 and has some chunk to him with curly black hair in a fauxhawk, brown eyes and glasses with a mocha skin color. He has a white jacket on with beige pants, red sweater, white dress shirt and white sneakers and black headphones
"Guys I told you I wasn't gonna abandon you, even after dropping out." said the one with cornrows
"But still K*** why did you have to leave the school, I mean we finally reached senior year." said the one with slicked black hair
"Come on S**** you know how they are, seriously though it's not the same without you the people are not just cancerous anymore but they've become cave men ever since the girls came." said the one with the curly Fauxhawk
"M** they can't be that bad, I mean it was an all boys school before that but still, it's not that bad." said cornrows
"The train will arrive in the next two minutes, thank you for choosing the MTA subway station and have a good day" the intercom said
Just as they started talking again, the homeless person behind them woke up and began to slowly walk towards them with a knife in his hand
"I'm not that missed. Everyone didn't really like me." said Cornrows
"How long are you going to keep underestimating yourself like that, seriously that's why she left you, because you keep saying shit like that-!" Before fauxhawk can continue his sentence the homeless person stabbed him in the throat
"DIRTY MONSTERS, HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE HUMAN SKIN AND COME FOR ME I KNOW THE TRUTH!" the homeless person yelled as he started slashing at slick back and threw him on the rails and breaking his back, knocking him out as Fauxhawk began to bleed out profusely
"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" Said Cornrows as he rushed over to the homeless person and punched him in the face before getting stabbed in the stomach
"You monsters can't get me, I know your plan, you infiltrated the government, you can't fool me, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MONSTERS HAVE BLONDE HAIR AND BLUE EYES!" the homeless person got up again and wiped the blood off his nose as cornrows coughed up blood and bile
"You're dead you sack of shit!" Cornrows charged the homeless person, mounted him and kept punching him over and over until there was only a bloody pulp where his face should be.
He got up from the person and started to feel the blood loss taking its toll on him, he slowly and hazily walked over to his friends corpse, covered in both of their blood he slowly bent over to pick up his friend but ended up falling over while grabbing his friends body and landing next to his other friend who had suffered a fatal blow to the head. With a broken body and will, he began to cry and held both of them tight as more blood pooled in his mouth, he hears the train rumbling and arriving at the station. The light near them go out as cornrows mutters his last words to his friends, "See guys… I told you, I'll never abandon you.." he hears the train coming closer, his life flashes before his eyes and everything fades to black.
When he awakens he's fully clothed and sitting in a chair, no blood no wounds except the ones prior to the incident but weirdly enough finds his teeth to be healed
His friends awake in his arms and they see an endless void of black and white tiles and in front of them is a woman. She has long blue hair, a pink silk ribbon, blue eyes that felt like staring into the abyss, a blue dress blue shoes, and weirdly enough no panties.
"From the Axis sect and the highest tier, a goddess descends upon you, more beautiful than the ocean, more graceful than rain, as kind as snow is pure, I am called by many names, the mistress of the lake, the will of water, the essence of the world, but for a mortal such as yourself you may call me Aqua."
"..." they all look at her deadpanned
"confused, I'm sure. Don't worry, you're all in purgatory and I offer you three a simple choice, go to heaven or be reincarnated" Aqua said and looked around before whispering, "you know heaven isn't as hyped up as you think it is, you're only surrounded by the elderly, you can't eat anything, there's no games or TV or even books, and you can't relieve yourself of sexual tension."
"..." they all stayed quiet studying the beauty closely, she remained at leisure while talking to them which meant they weren't a threat to her, she seemed rather relaxed and was eating chips
"losing all memories is unfair so how about I provide you three with a third option, you all play RPGs right?" she began to be nervous until cornrows answered
"Yea, we do."
Aqua sighed in relief at hearing them, "so you can speak, and the others can too… how would you like to be sent to a world where humanity is on its last legs and you can help fight the demon King and save them, you'll instantly learn the languages, and become heroes."
"what's the catch" they asked in unison knowing that this sounds fishy
"You each can choose one weapon, skill or ability and it can be anything you want."
Cornrows had his ideas, so did Fauxhawk and slick back
"can I ask something of you, Aqua?" cornrows said
"you may."
"May you please provide us with wireless internet connection and infinite charge on our electronic devices?"
"sure." she said thinking nothing of it which was a big mistake, "now decide"
"we already have our decisions." cornrows said
"I want the ability to summon our animal spirits and make them into weapons and modes of transportation." said slick back
"granted now the other two can choose."
"I want… the ability to create spheres of light and heat and Sans Ghaster blasters with modifications."
"do you want glowing red eyes too?"
"of course."
"granted." she turned to cornrows "now what of you?"
"I want a foot long dagger, that has a 50% chance of dealing a random status effect and a 90% chance of creating a powerful neurotoxin and it can also turn into a bow with magic arrows." said cornrows as aqua just smiled at them.
"GRANTED!" she yelled, "Now fulfill your duty, save the land, kill the demon King, and do it in my name and only my name! Aqua of the Axis Sect! Begone!" Portals opened up below us and teleported us to a new land.
"Master Aqua… you've been charged with vanity, pride, prejudice and being a general bitch, how do you plead?" A blonde haired angel asked
"... shit…" was all aqua could say
"GUITLY IT IS THEN, AS PUNISHMENT YOU WILL JOIN THE HUMANS ON THEIR JOURNEY!" was all that was said before aqua was teleported away.
Scene change: the plains outside the city
"Guys we're finally here…" cornrows said
"really…" fauxhawk said
"let's begin our journey guys." said slick back.
"let's not use our real names… instead how about those code names we made last year." said cornrows
"OK… Mainyuu." said fauxhawk
"Why thank you, Ra." said cornrows or better yet Mainyuu
"what about me?" said slick back
"You're obviously Hephaestus" said Mainyuu
"but I wanted to be Hades, he's a savage." whined Hephaestus
"Fine, you're Hades now." said Ra
Mainyuu opened his bag and gave them all a scarf
"it's cold guys…" Mainyuu said
They all went to the town to go join the adventure guild
And by the time they entered the guild they found Aqua sitting in a corner crying and while Hades and Mainyuu wanted to leave her to her own problems, Ra went to her and tried to cheer her up.
"Aqua, are you OK?" Ra asked kindly and stroked her hair
"No…" she whined, "The other Gods turned against me and said that the only way I can come back to my place in Godhood is to help you guys defeat the Demon King, and to assist you all in any means necessary!" she cried a bit more believing that they were gonna take advantage of her but was surprised to find that Ra was stroking her hair with nothing but kindness.
"It's alright… maybe I can convince Mainyuu to let you join us" Ra said
"I'm cool with it but we need money in order to join the guild…" Mainyuu said.
"I think I can help with that!" Aqua said immediately getting back into a good mood, "you see that guy over there, he's apart of the axis sect and will throw money at a Goddess like myself!" she said proudly sticking out her chest and stood up too quickly and accidentally gave us an upskirt..
"... I have my doubts about that… instead Hades and I agreed to start playing blackjack with a bunch of the people and hustle them out of enough money to sign us up into the guild…" Mainyuu said ignoring the no panty flash.
"excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation." said a feminine voice behind us we turned around to see a beautiful young woman with lavender hair, small breasts with a small tube top, hot pants that hung loosely even with her belt on, a dagger on her side, and boots.
To say the least Mainyuu was infatuated and turned on his charm, "please, your intrusion can be helpful to us." he held her hand gently and kissed it with a devilish smirk while gazing into her eyes. "I'm sorry but I haven't even gotten your name, that was too forward of me." and she was left star struck and blushing heavily.
"A-a-anyway, I was going to tell you that I can help you join the guild but on the small occasion that one of you learn a thief skill." she played with her fingers while averting Mainyuu's gaze and blushing.
"Thank you, kind, beautiful, resourceful, and a competent thief… by any chance are you taken by someone who deserves your time of day. My name is Mainyuu. But for you specifically, you can call me Nega. I will be especially glad to learn a thief skill, but first I must ask your name." Mainyuu said as she blushed even deeper and the rest of us watching are groaning.
"Chris, my name is Chris. And no." she finally said making Mainyuu smile, she puts some money in his hand and grabs his hand and leads him to the front counter
"Remember me, I'd like to sign up to become apart of the guild, and so do my cohorts which make four of us in total." Mainyuu gives her the money.
"Ra, you're up first, don't disappoint us now." Ra puts his hand over the blue orb and it prints out his skills and stats.
"Above average HP intelligence and attack, and balanced out other stats, you can choose Ranger, Red mage, adventurer, Marauder, or Rune knight, please choose one." the kind lady says.
"I'll choose ranger class." Ra said assuredly
"you'll be reset to level 1 but your stats and skills will remain the same." the lady says as it registers as Range
"Hades you're up next." Mainyuu said.
"Yea Yea.." Hades put his hand on the orb, "high intelligence, high faith, and good stamina other than that the stats are low so it's either arch mage, arch priest, high caster or Shaman."
"Shaman."
"Good choice!" he was registered
"My turn…" Mainyuu places his hand on top the orb
"Wow, above average attack, above average Dexterity,high intelligence, above average HP, low stamina and no faith, and above average agility and resistance and A CRAZILY HIGH LUCK STAT!" people looked shocked when they heard that
"before you give me any options I'll choose rune thief." Mainyuu said
"Wait there might be something else that's better for you." Ra said
"Like what?"
"A saboteur, it fits in that DPS thing you love so much and it has debuffs…" Ra described
"I'll choose Saboteur.." it documents it and they write down their names
"Aqua you're up…" Mainyuu sat down and pulled his 3DS out of his bag and started playing a game called Shin Megami Tensei IV.
"Time to show you all what a true Goddess is made out of." Mainyuu's card is going wild on the skills as he switches the game for fire emblem conquest. Aqua puts her hand on the orb
"OH MY GOD, besides a dangerously low intelligence and an abysmal Luck stat, all your other stats are insanely high, you can have any job that doesn't require luck or intelligence, like arch priest!" the lady exclaims
"I guess Arch priest is a suitable job for such a divine being such as myself."
Hades whispered to Ra, "Is she gonna ignore that thing about her intelligence and luck."
"Be lucky that such an amazing person like me is on your team, you casuals." Aqua smiled arrogantly
"Let her have her time to shine Hades." Ra whispered back
"Well Mainyuu, what will you do, beg me to be in your party, it's OK I'll join no matter how pathetic you are, so I'll become leader instead." Aqua's words made Ra and Hades pale in sheer fear.
"Aqua sit down.." was all Mainyuu said as he closed his game
"why should I?" aqua replied
"So I can sit you down and explain how much your stupidity physically hurts me and why it would be safer and smarter to strap a bomb in our chest rather than letting you be our leader, and most importantly… why, and hear me out, why you aren't even needed on this team, so you can drink to your heart's content and continue living a life where you believe you are necessary or live in a world where I break your reality by telling you the truth of the matter and end up killing yourself at which I will laugh…. So go ahead and drink." Mainyuu says with all seriousness and goes back to his game
"well we saw that coming a mile away.." Hades said as Ra sighed and went to comfort Aqua
"Aqua…" Ra said as Aqua was sitting in a chair just holding her drink, "are you OK."
"... say… I'm not really useless am I? I have purpose on the team right?" Aqua asks sadly
"Yea… of course you do." Ra lied and held her head to his chest.
"... thank you.." Aqua whimpers out
An hour later
"alright guys, after learning some rather…. Nice skills from Chris.."
Flashback to thirty minutes ago in a dark alley
"STEAL!" Mainyuu and Chris have been having a battle of wills… and clothes…
They've been stealing each others clothes for the past 25 minutes and all that's left are their underwear and socks-
"STEAL!" scratch that… just underwear now… Yup..
"STEA-"
End flashback
"Yea… cute purple bus- I mean skills… Yea… cute purple skills…" I feel like Mainyuu is not talking about skills considering How both he and Chris are blushing
"not to mention a thick black pen- skill… Yea...a thick black skill…" Yup she's definitely not talking about skills.
"I didn't know skills come in purple and black" Hades didn't catch on
"well obviously it's a rare skill, duh." oh thank gods aqua is retarded
"Wait… thick, black…" Ra don't you even dare finish that sentence, "Like his penis." Mainyuu and Chris glow crimson and face palm at th same time
"HOW DO YOU KNOW!?" almost everyone asked in shock while Ra just looked confused
Ending theme: brave song
Preview: "why are we fighting Toads and why are they so slimy"
"GET OFF OF ME!"
"It's OK Megumin. I understand."
Mainyuu
Saboteur LV 1
skills:
Steal
Lurk
Sense enemy
Debilitate
Luster candy
Megadolin
Astra
Penetrate
Miracle
Zephyrus
Magical arrows
Hades
Shaman LV1
skills
Hex
Dark fog
Dark flame
War cry
Animal spirit projection
Animal spirit summon
Curse
Blight
Miracle
Atlas break
Ra
Ranger LV 1
Skills:
Blaze cannons
Hyper Beam
Meteo
Thundaga
Blizzaga
Firaga
Curaga
Counter
Astra
A/N: Hey guys what did you think of the story…