Thorin had lost so much in her life. She had a large family by dwarf standards, but they were lost in the war. All that remained were her sister and nephews, and she nearly lost them as well. Sometimes it was hard to believe that they were still around. Before, back in Erebor, she had many friends. Throughout the years, those that lasted after the dragon died through orcs or hunger. As dwarves do last longer than other races, they also die.
Thorin had her gold again, but it became worthless when war happened because of it. Thorin had her kingdom back, but she nearly left when her citizens would stare at her. Word had spread of her gold sickness. Even her family and friends looked at her strangely.
Surprisingly, few made comment about Frodo. Perhaps they knew that the wound of Bilbo's death was too fresh. Thorin's pregnancy was simple compared to the rest of her life. When she had her child, she held her close.
Sometimes it felt as though she'd lost more than she'd gained. Her wife was dead because of her, and had she lived she would have been exiled. Her family was swamped with their own duties. It seemed she had forgotten what ruling Erebor actually entailed.
There were even some days where she feared that her family was succumbing to the dragon sickness. Unlike her, they didn't have an anchor to keep them from sinking. If the sickness took them, they would likely be gone.
She kept watch over Frodo whenever she could. At night she would fear losing the one part of her life that seemed alright. Frodo adored her. She was taught as an heir should, but not as harshly as Thorin was. Whatever she wanted, she got. At least gold could be used to buy toys.
Sometimes it seemed like a curse that Frodo looked so much more like Bilbo than Thorin did. She may have had her blue eyes and dark locks, but she had more hair on her feet than she had stubble on her chin. Yes, she liked gold, but she adored flowers and books more. In some ways that was good; Frodo would never be like Thorin. But that meant she'd be like Bilbo.
Thorin picked flowers with her and read her stories. She listened to her speak of adventures, and sometimes she couldn't convince herself that it was just child speak. But she never suppressed it, never made her change. That would only make her lose Frodo.
She thought she had things right, but even Frodo was lost to her. One day she got tired of looking at her stubble and said she needed a break, said she was going to the Shire. For the first time in her life, Thorin almost said no to her.
And then Frodo didn't come back.
Frodo was too much like Bilbo. Thorin tried to convince herself that losing her would be better for her. Frodo could go on her adventures, and Thorin would be back in Erebor, still ruling her kingdom. She still had Fili and Kili.
She wouldn't have another reminder of what she'd lost.
In a way, she had exiled herself. She'd built a prison of gold and tried to drag whatever she could inside with her. Bilbo died trying to escape it. Thorin would die in it. Frodo was the only one lucky to get in, and Thorin could only hope she never came back.
But she remained strong throughout hardships, as dwarves do. Every day she told herself that if she could take her people off to fight a dragon then she could do this. If she said the words enough, she believed them.
Frodo turned out to be a burglar. Thorin couldn't believe it; Frodo had stolen a hobbit. She was old now, with white in her hair and wrinkles in her skin, but Thorin was the same way.
There was so much to discuss, and for once Thorin was glad to be in a conversation.
"I almost couldn't believe it," Bilbo said. "How could she be related to me? She reminded me too much of you, Thorin."