First story that I've written in a while, and yup, it's just an angsty one-shot. I seriously have no life, guys. First time writing in first person, too. It might suck
I NEED SOME CRITICISM PEOPLE! Help me out here! I know I'm not the best writer, but I'm not the worst either, and I need to know how my writing can improve. So, I guess I'm encouraging flames, too? Whatever
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
Warnings: Swearing. Excessive angst (I guess?). Character death.
Ashes Remain.
Hinata is four years old when she is kidnapped by Kumogakure nin's in the dead of night for her Byakugan. She is terrified and nervous because, without her eyes, she would be useless to her father to her clan. She doesn't want to disappoint them. She doesn't want to be more of a failure than she already is. She doesn't want her mother to turn on her, too. A Hyuuga without their eyes is trash.
She is five years old when her little sister Hanabi is born and her mother nearly dies in labor. She immediately vows to protect her little sister and her mother. She wishes to be strong enough to protect both. She wants to grow to be beautiful like her mother, and strong like her father. It is not a dream that will be easy to fulfill. She is weak. To her father. To the Elders. To the clan. To the village. Hinata is useless. A waste of space. She doesn't deserve to be a Hyuuga.
She is six years old when her mother dies. It was her birthday. No one ever celebrated Hinata's birthday. December third. It was just another day. Nothing special.
She is ten years old when her younger sister beats her in a spar while their father watches. Hanabi's Byakugan is far more advanced than Hinata's. She easily falls, beaten by a five year old child. Their father is sorely disappointed in Hinata and, that day, she looses the right as heiress to her younger sister. Hinata holds no resentment for her family, only for herself. She is not good enough. She is not strong enough. She is not worth her sister's hits. It feels as though everyone is judging her. The clan glares as she walks by: Hinata hates herself. She is to blame for the clan's suffering. She is weak. She knows she is.
It is at this age that she meets Uzumaki Naruto. He is loud and confident. Hinata is jealous. He is an outcast, a boy who suffers hate from the villagers just like she, and, despite having no skills whatsoever, he is strong and he believes that he will become Hokage. Hinata doesn't believe. One night she watches as bullies corner him and beat him. Her bodyguard, Kō, pulls her past the alley as Naruto stumbles out. They lock eyes. He's crying and she is, too. No one deserves that. She attempts to understand him. He is hated, so is she. He is isolated, so is she. He wants to be acknowledged, so does she. He wants to prove the village wrong, does she want to prove her clan wrong? She wonders. A month later, she has her answer. She wishes to be strong again. She will protect her clan and her village. Just like that boy will, Uzumaki Naruto.
She is twelve years old when she is placed on a squad with Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino, under the tutelage of Yuhi Kurenai. Hinata knows her. Her father does not care for her lack of backbone and strength, and she is put under the protection and care of Kurenai. It hurts. Her father does not want her, he only wants Hananbi. Hinata harbors no ill feelings towards either: She loves her family. She is behind her teammates: Her Byakugan is weak, she isn't a very good tracker. Shino tells her this. He is blunt, Hinata respects that and agrees to get better. She apologizes frequently. She messes up too much. Her team must not want her in their presence. They are strong, she is weak. Whatever self-confidence Hinata ever had slowly fades to nothing.
At the Chunin Exams, she meets the rest of their class again. The Rookie Nine, Kiba calls them: She likes the name. Yamanaka Ino is pretty, Hinata feels ugly in her presence. She is also strong, stronger than Hinata can ever be. She is also an heiress: They've spoken before. Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji are best friends and heir's. Hinata has also spoken with them on occasion, during clan meetings, the ones she is not permitted to attend anymore. They exchange brief greetings before Naruto and his team barge in. The other ninjas from different villages glare. They do not like the noise. Hinata shivers. It is suddenly cold.
Haruno Sakura gets into a fight with Ino over Uchiha Sasuke. Hinata is reminded of their Academy days. Sakura is very pretty, with long pale pink hair, that she grew out for Sasuke, and green eyes. Naruto has a crush on Sakura. Hinata can see why. She is jealous because she is not the one that holds Naruto's attention: Sakura is. Yet Sakura will never acknowledge him like she acknowledges Sasuke. Hinata cannot understand why.
The written exam frightens her, but she answers the questions without much difficulty. But she felt as though her answers were wrong. She offers Naruto to cheat off of her. He refuses and she is crestfallen. Did she do something wrong? The last question comes. Hinata is scared. They could never take the Chunin Exams again? What will her team think of her if she was the reason they could never become chunin? They will hate her. Hinata cannot bare the thought of more people hating her. So she begins to raise her hand. Naruto leaps from his chair and raises his hand. It's quiet. He slams it back down onto the desk. He will not give up. She breathes in. He will not give up and neither will she: She will be strong for Naruto, her teammates, her sensei, and her clan. Hinata will finally be strong.
Her last ounces of strength vanish once she sees Sabaku no Gaara.
Gaara is a Suna nin. Her team comes across he and his siblings facing down a team of unfortunate Ame nin who taunt and mock the red-haired boy. Stiff, they watch as sand wraps around each member of the team from Ame, and as their blood flies. Hinata is afraid. Soon, sand is upon them, and Hinata lets her tears fall. It hits the wave of sand coming in front of her and it pauses. She does not want to die. She has not proven herself to her clan. In death they will consider her the pathetic girl, the worthless waste of space. She will always be useless. She awaits death. The sand is suddenly pulled back. She does not breathe until the siblings vanish in the trees. Gaara is last to go. He turns and stares at the spot where she is. She lets another tear fall. Finally, he leaves. Hinata faints.
Hinata is still twelve years old when she is placed in cardiac arrest by the cousin she still loves. She does not regret her choice to fight Hyuuga Neji, the clan's prodigy and her vengeful cousin, and will never regret it. She is glad that he has finally let out his anger. Hinata vows to turn his anger into something more positive. She will make him happy. She will finally change her clan for the better. Hinata makes a promise, a promise to change the Hyuuga. She will right wrongs, repair broken hearts, fix corrupt clan members, because she feels as though it is time for a change. And she will be the one to make it.
She never fulfills her dreams.
Hinata is sixteen years old when she dies on the battlefield, protecting the boy she loves. Naruto. He screams her name, she does not hear. He holds her close, she does not feel. He begs for her to respond, she does not speak. She cannot. Her life is flashing before her eyes. She always thought her life was meaningless. Maybe it was in the beginning. But now she has people to care for her. Hinata does not want to leave them. She wants to breathe with them, fight alongside them. Yet Sakura's face tells all. She will not survive. She gazes at the medic nin with a small smile. She knew her life was over: She is ready for death.
Her friends are weeping. Their faces are solemn. Hinata doesn't wish for them to cry. She will finally see her mother, her cousin, her uncle. She will see her family again. Can they not see that she will be happy? She wants to console them. She cannot move. Is this the price of death?
So Hinata then cries. But she does not know who for. Does she cry for her friends, that have won the war but lost the battle? Her family, that is filled to the brim with corruption that Hinata will never be able to dispel? Her village, that has been turned to mere ashes but will spring forth once more, happy, but with depression looming over each citizen? Or does she cry for herself? The young child forced to grow up far too early? The little girl who still blushes and stutters and is petrified of the world? The teenager that found out how to be truly brave too late? No, Hinata does not cry for her friends, her family, her village, or for herself.
No, she cries because she never made her father proud.
NOTE: I'm not bashing Hinata, people. She's bashing herself, basically. She doesn't believe in her own abilities.
QUESTION: Is anyone out of character here? I'm trying to keep everyone in character. It's not as easy as it looks.
Guys, I'm never writing an angsty one-shot again. Especially not about Hinata. Guys, it hurts. Not even cool. I didn't want to kill Hinata off, really I didn't, but it was fitting dramatic ending: Plus, with all the plot twists Kishimoto-sama is throwing at us, I wouldn't be surprised if he killed her off. No, I'd be pissed.