DISCLAIMER:i do not own those written in bold and italic, This is a song – If you don't want to fall written by Jude Gumantoc..i own only the plot...
A/N: I woke up in the wee hours of the morning and couldn't find slumber again, so I decided to read through fanfics… and don't know why but 'coincidentally', all the fanfics I've read were that of sad endings of Draco and Hermione, with no after thoughts or whatsoever. Having to have realized that, I felt a pang in my heart (yeah I know, kind of mushy). I wanted to write something broken, write after thoughts of their break up, of their unhappy ending…
Here goes nothing..
He's never coming back, ever,
But maybe so was she.
I could write a thousand songs,
I could sight a thousand reasons we belong..
No, everything they stood for is lost, everything they tried to fight for is dead. She loved, no not loved, she loves him with an urgency that it has become a need. But so did he, but she didn't know that, he didn't want her to. No, it was not because of pride, and neither was it for reputation's sake. All they have dreaded has finally come, and so has the inevitable end. It was only moments ago that he was kissing her with a passion they have grown familiar with but have never tired of. It was only months ago that this liaison has turned something silently serious, but neither one of them wanted to admit it. He was a pureblood for crying out loud, with a father who speaks so despicable of a mudbloods, and more so with her. He used to share the same passion as his father, tormenting her each and every day with insults and curses, and for seven years she used to do the same to them, until it all drastically changed.
I could choose the perfect verse,
But still be better left unheard..
It all started with that forbidden kiss. Why is anything forbidden so delicious?, and from then on, neither one of them had plans of letting go that sensation that was so intricate and blissfully right for them. Yes, they know it was wrong, they could be scorned, banned and even exiled by each of their families, friends and their different circles of society, no, they could not allow that to happen. But they wanted each other, needed that solace they have unexpectedly found in each others arms. Diminished were those enigmas that came along their level of relationship, worried disappeared whenever they were together, each caress turning into an adventure they would take over and over again. But no, as much as they wanted to keep everything hidden, the secrecy of these all was crushing the little sanity they had left in them.
I could say a thousand prayers,
I could weave a thousand lies to make you care.
She did everything to make him love her too. Every time they made love, she would moan that of love and adoration for him, she was filled with so much pleasure and of love that she feared containing it would knock her out of sanity. She cared for him in ways she had intentionally showed him, but he would not acknowledge them. everything was against them, yes, but could he not have felt for her even if in secret? Could he not return, even if not as much, what she felt for him? But she will not forget him, even if it will be the death of her. He has meant so much to her than she has planned, given him everything of her, her body, her soul, her heart, her love.
I could live my life for you,
I could even die for you,
He has loved her more than what words could define, but shan't admit it. Everything, everyone was against it. But he had no problem with the ruination of his name, nor did he care about the shunning of society. Nether did he care about what his father would say about him or about the fact that he might disown him. No, he didn't give a damn about those. All he cared for was her, and how everything would be in to the drainage once their secret was out. He loved her, he really does, but he dares not challenge the bright future ahead of the woman he loves, he is not up to that. Yes, he could be there for her when things are down, but could he take the sadness that he would witness upon her eyes once people would mock them? no, he cannot. He loved her too much to offer up the sadness he knows he would engulf her with.
Anything you'd ask me to I'd do, but..
And hence must he hide his feelings, even to her, for once she knew, he knows that she would fight for him, she would risk everything for him. She had confessed her feelings to him, willingly, and it had ached him so, knowing it but not allowing himself to give in to what his heart desires. Each time she would do so, he smiles faintly but quickly covers it with but another mask. The girl has made him human, but he is not willing to tell her that. He didn't want her to wear a frown, but he already did. He wouldn't want that, for it will be the end of her. And he didn't want that, he didn't want that for her.
If you don't want to fall for me,
Don't want to feel the need to be with me at all
Then there's nothing else I could ever do,
No words I could say to you to get me through the wall,
If you don't want to fall…
And she had given up.
She gathered up her senses and every ounce of her courage to ask her how he truly felt. She needed to know that he felt the was so easy to see in his eyes, but he would not allow himself to admit it. She needed to know where to stand. If he felt the same, then she would gladly and willingly give everything up for him. she was willing to take every risk that was in store for them if only he felt the same way.
But he did not.
If you'd just say it to my face,
Then maybe I could change and mend my broken ways.
She could still remember his icy face, and the bleakness in his voice when he said that everything meant nothing to him. She was in denial at first, screaming as tears made way from her eyes. How could something so intimate mean nothing to him? She thought he felt the same but she was wrong. All hopes and dreams were shattered that very moment he said that it was only for sex, nothing more, nothing less. It was naïve for her to think she could change him, the man that he was. And she hated herself more, for she still is loving him so, despite the pain, despite the coldness.
But everything is without use if life is living without you,
Tell me what am I suppose to do…
It broke his heart. She was mad, but he did not see loathing in her eyes-they were still filled with so much love for him. And it hit him like daggers seeing her hurt because of him. It was inevitable, but it eventually had to happen. As much as he loved her, he had to let her go. Letting her walk out of his life was not the easiest decision to make, even though he already had planned it from the very start. He knew he was letting go of the essence of his living, the very sole reason for his breathing, the every meaning of his life, even though he didn't want to, but he had. He really had to.
Nothing's ever worth anything in my life no more
Now the meanings of life they have created together have vanished into thin air, but never the love they had once shared.
No one's gonna make me feel just like before
They could have tried it with someone else, but they refused to. To them it was a betrayal to a memory that meant so much more to them.
Nothing's ever work, No one's ever gonna do,
Coz there's no one else but you.
They knew that deep in their hearts, they are for each other, and for each other alone.
Then there's nothing else I could ever do,
No words I could say to you to get me through the wall.
He wanted to fix her, but he mustn't. She has now fully detached herself from him, and he must be happy that now he was free from the shattering love she had for him. But he wasn't. No, he wasn't.
If you don't want to fall..
And now, living was the hardest and most painful thing in their lives.
A/N:if you're wondering if this is a songfic, no it isn't;)
So what do you think?
Please do tell me…
Begging for Reviews! LOL