The Warner Bride
Chapter One
Wakko coughed a bit as he sat in bed playing a video game. He had been feeling a bit sick for the past day or so.
"Hey Wakko." Yakko said as he entered the room to come check on him. "Feeling any better?" He asked.
"A little." Wakko replied.
"Y'know what'll make you feel even better, a visit from good old Scratchy here!" Yakko said as he stood aside from the doorway, allowing Scratchansniff to enter.
"Greetings young Warner brother!" Scratchansniff said in a chipper tone as he entered. "Have I got just the thing for you today!" He said.
"What is it?" Wakko asked curiously.
"It's the book that my father read me when I got sick! A story filled with fencing, fighting, torture, revenge... giants, monsters, chases... escapes, true love, miracles!" Scratchansniff exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Really?! All that?!" Wakko asked excitedly.
"Of course!" Scratchansniff replied.
"Well, I can see you two aren't gonna have any trouble getting along today." Yakko said. "Me and Dot are gonna be out finding someone else to bug while you're busy here by the way." He added.
"Ok. Later Yakko!" Wakko said.
"Later Wakko. Later Scratchy." Yakko said with a wave as he made his exit.
"Alright then, let's get started!" Scratchansniff said. "Our story is The Princess Bride, by S Morgenstern. But just for fun, we change all the names and call it, The Warner Bride." He said. Wakko grinned with approval and the reading began.
"Dot Warner was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse, and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Buster, but she never called him that." Scratchansniff read as the image of a lush countryside came into view. "Isn't that a wonderful beginning?" He asked.
"Uh-huh." Wakko replied, nodding his head in agreement as the farm itself came into view. Dot rode up to the farm on horseback as Scratchinsinff continued his narrative.
"Nothing gave Dot as much pleasure as ordering Buster around." Scratchinsinff read.
"Hey farm boy, wax this saddle!" Dot said rather rudely as she roughly tossed him the saddle, knocking him over in the process. "I wanna see my face in it by morning!" She demanded.
"As you wish." Buster said in a deflated tone from the stable floor.
"Strange, I don't recall the story reading like this." Scratchansniff said, eyeing the book curiously. "Perhaps it's simply an odd reprint." He said, shrugging it off and continuing the reading.
"As you wish."... was all Buster ever said to her. Day after day, no matter how tedious the task. Or how unpleasant she tried to seem.
"Farm boy, fill these with water." Dot said as she sat two large buckets in front of Buster, interrupting him as he chopped wood. He responded with the same look as always, that look that seemed to speak of something more. His unspoken words seemed to reach her that day, compelling her to speak more politely.
"Please." She added more courteously.
"As you wish." Buster said with a nod of his head.
Feeling a bit flustered by the encounter, Dot quickly started towards the house, briefly stopping to glance back at Buster. Their eyes met and locked in a gaze that seemed to last an eternity. Her eyes were searching. His were calm and patient, as if waiting to be read by hers.
That day, Dot was amazed to discover that when Buster was saying, "As you wish"... what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
"Farm boy." Dot said, catching Buster at the door. "Fetch me that pitcher." She said, quickly thinking of an excuse to make him stay for just a moment longer. He returned and retrieved the pitcher, which hung from a hook only inches from her head.
"As you wish." He said as he handed her the pitcher. She smiled, knowing exactly what he meant.
Late that evening, out among the grass and the trees, they embraced in the sunset, drawing closer till they...
"Now wait a minute! Hold the phone!" Babs shouted, interrupting the flow of the story as she abruptly pulled them apart. "Buster is my boyfriend! How come I'm not the princess in this story?!" She demanded, looking through the screen at the author.
"Babsie, this is an Animaniacs fanfic. She has to be the princess." Buster attempted to explain.
"But you're supposed to be with me!" Babs protested.
"I am!" Buster insisted. "We're just acting." He said.
"Oh really? So you're just "acting" like a two timing jerk!" Babs spat sarcastically.
"Could we please not have this conversation right now Babs?" Buster sighed, holding a hand to his head.
"Fine, that way there's no witnesses when I pop that lecherous little zit you call a head!" Babs said, jabbing a finger into his chest before turning and storming off.
"Luv' ya Babsie!" Buster called after her, waving. She turned and chucked a clump of dirt at his head. He ducked and stayed low till she turned and walked off in a huff. He breathed a sigh of relief once she was out of sight, then noticed Dot staring at his cowering posture. He quickly stood to his full hight and brushed himself off a bit.
"So, where were we then?" He asked.
"Making out." Dot replied casually.
"Right..." Buster said. "...let's get back to that." He added. Dot shrugged passively.
"Ok." She said. Then they kissed, their silhouettes highlighted by the setting sun.
(A.N) It seems that Buster is quite the cad in this particular story. Not that kind of cad of course, he and Dot are roughly the same age in this story. But one way or another, he's getting the beating of his life when Babs finds out about this one.
On a separate note, all characters featured in this story will be dressed as their movie counterparts. Also, the role of prince Humperdinck will be played by Montana Max, from Tiny Toon Adventures. The king and queen will be played by Rita and Runt. Try not to think about it too much.
Disclaimer- I don't own Animaniacs, or The Princess Bride. I don't pretend to. And I'm not making any money off this story.